Zip it! And get a fast response from your dog

Are you a chatterbox? 

“Fido, Fido, FIDO, come, c’m’ere, Fido, over here, FIDO COME HERE, (**** dog), F I D O !!”

We’ve all heard a frustrated owner calling this in the park. And what’s Fido doing all this while? Probably carrying on just as he pleases. When the torrent of yelling subsides he’ll look round to check his owners are still there. And if they start walking away, he just may come.

But this is isn’t what you’re wanting, is it? We’d all love to have a dog who spins on a sixpence as soon as he hears his name, and powers back to us at tremendous speed. We want people to see that our dog loves and respects us, and we certainly want to be sure he doesn’t make a nuisance of himself.

So how can you change this?

Only say it once!

The first thing to do is to change what you’re doing. Then you can change what your dog is doing. 

So when you say anything to your dog, you ONLY SAY IT ONCE. He gets one chance to get the reward from you. You have got a super high-value reward with you at all times, haven’t you? Sausage, or salami, hot dog - whatever your dog thinks is heavenly. If he ignores your ONE call, then the reward is gone. 

Ok, you’re saying, how is that going to get my dog back? Well, you start with this in the house - in an area where you have little distraction and you know that if he doesn’t respond you can go over to him. 

This isn’t a capitulation on your part. It’s expedient. We’re not looking at who’s the boss - that won’t make things any better. Dogs do not have a secret agenda to rule the world, your household, or you. Dogs do what works, and if it works - then that’s going to make you both happy.

So you say your dog’s name ONCE. He looks at you - YES! here’s your reward And as I explain elsewhere, a reward is anything your dog finds rewarding: food (top of the list), cuddles (fairly far down the list), game, dinner bowl, lead on for a walk, etc.

Dogs learn by repetition and patterning. So it’s a case of repeat, repeat, repeat. (But don’t repeat his name!) Just get into the habit of saying your dog’s name ONCE and rewarding his instant response. 

So say “Fido!” and zip it. Some people actually find it helps them to remember when they say something to their dog to put their hand over their mouth! Whatever works for you. 

I’ve heard some mothers complain that they call the family down to dinner and get “just coming” ten times before they all eventually appear at the table. If those mothers called the kids ONCE, then - after a suitable delay - tipped their dinner into the bin, I think the next day they’d start getting a faster response. 

What do you think?

What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander (it works just the same with dogs)

This is the same principle. When I say your name, there is a reward on offer. You don’t respond? Reward is gone. Over time (not necessarily a very long time, either), your dog will leap to attention when he hears his name. He doesn’t want to miss that treat!

Once you’ve got that working well indoors, you can start trying it outdoors - in a distraction-free zone to begin with - and in an area where you can go to your dog if he doesn’t come to you. When you go to him, you are not arriving like Thor firing thunderbolts. Rather you just get right up next to your dog and call him once from there. Then you reward him! Why? Because he responded to you!

This is not the whole recall fixed. This is the beginning. This is opening up the channel so that you can stop yelling and start communicating. For a thorough step-by-step program to develop a stunning recall, check out Here Boy! Step-by-step to a Stunning Recall from your Brilliant Family Dog

To change your dog you need to change yourself first!

Watch our free Workshop and find out how to transform your “deaf dog” into a LISTENING DOG!

 

What do I do when it all goes wrong?

The simple answer to this is: go back to the drawing board and start in the house (where your dog cannot run off) and - critically - make it fun for your dog. If the sound of your dog’s name always means fun and games, why would he not come? 

You’ll need to ditch any ideas you may have had about being the boss, expecting instant obedience, punishing defiance, and so on. If you ask your partner or child to fetch something for you, do you expect them to leap instantly from their chair, abandon what they’re doing, and rush to obey? No! Much more likely you’ll get “In a minute,” or a slower heave out of the armchair. This is fine. This is normal. This is what we expect (and accept) from our housemates. Why should we expect something totally different from our dog?

By the way, ONLY SAY IT ONCE works with anything you say to your dog. So no more “Sit, sit sit, siddown, I said sit”, “Leave it, put it down, leave it, LEAVE IT!” and so on. This is a habit you’ll have to change in yourself before you can expect any change in your dog. For your dog to change - you have to change. So, discipline your mouth, be ready to cover it with your hand as soon as you’ve uttered, and practice saying things only once then zip it!

Focus on this for just five days this week. Every single time you address your dog, you’ll say something ONCE then zip it. See how soon the turning point arrives and your dog starts listening to you!

You can comment below and tell me when it happened for you.

Meanwhile, get your free download:

Nine Rules for a Perfect Recall 

Why does my dog bark at some dogs and not others? (4 steps to calmer dog walks!)

“I can be walking along the road and pass five dogs without my dog saying a word. But along comes the sixth and she goes mad! It can be a big dog or a small one - I can’t work out a pattern. Why?”

This is a very observant question - and one which causes people a lot of puzzlement.

Why do some dogs wind up my dog - and not others?

What’s happening is a combination of rising hormone levels - known as Trigger Stacking.

Trigger Stacking is the name given to the heaping up of things that worry your dog, till she becomes overwhelmed. It could be an approaching dog + a child running by + a bang or scream … 

Maybe she could cope with these things one at a time, but all at once or in quick succession is too much.

If you were working against the clock to prepare dinner and the doorbell rang - you could cope with the interruption and carry on. Supposing while you were going to answer the door, the phone started ringing - and then your saucepan boiled over - Aaargh! Too much! You are now fraught and frazzled. The next person you speak to will get snapped at! This is trigger stacking for us.

Hormones - don’t you love ‘em!

We are driven by our hormones, as are our dogs. 

Fear is the driving force here, and that builds up the cortisol levels in the body. 

The more afraid your dog gets, the more afraid she will get.

So you’re walking along the road and you pass a dog coming the other way. Your dog may get a bit antsy, or she may just put her head down and get past without even looking at the dog.

Phew! We got past!

Now another one is coming! This time your dog glances at it and then looks away. Perhaps you give her a treat for ignoring it.

Now there’s another! Oh no - and another!

Your dog is by now getting quite tense. How long can she hold it together?

The next dog that comes along happens to be a bit “on his toes”. Perhaps he’s a young dog with few social skills, so stares at your dog and bounces around on his lead. Perhaps he lowers his head and starts walking slowly and deliberately.

Whatever it is, your dog has reached her limit.

This dog is the last straw!

So she barks and lunges on the end of the lead in an attempt to keep the other dog away.

Between your embarrassment and the other owner’s alarm, this probably works! Either the other dog goes away, or you do. Remember,

Dogs do what works

And if the barking and lunging did the trick this time, your dog now has a way to keep other dogs away. Until we give her some better strategies.

So what can I do?

When we are blessed with a fearful and anxious dog, our main focus should be on keeping her calm. 

For this to work, you need to keep yourself calm too! If, for instance, your dog gets upset by dogs 20 yards away, be sure to keep them at least 21 yards away - by anticipating and moving away yourself.

That may interfere with your accustomed walking pattern. But if your walks are punctuated by outbursts which always catch you out, wouldn’t it be worth making some changes to improve matters?

A walk may become 50 yards this way, then 10 yards that way, followed by 30 yards another way, then back to the first direction for 100 yards … and so on. You’re not trying to get anywhere, your objective is to keep your dog calm. 

While it is true that the more afraid your dog gets, the more afraid she will get, the opposite is also true:

The calmer your dog stays, the calmer she’ll be.

Want some help getting this right? Watch our free masterclass and spot the three mistakes you may be making - without realising it! - which cause your dog to act up worse

Four steps to changing this

1. Keep your distance

Distance is very important to dogs. If they’re uncomfortable about anything, the best thing to do is to put some space between you and whatever it is they’re worried about. The stress of being too close can build in your dog till it reaches the level where it overflows.

2. Avoid Tunnels

Remember that a narrow path or roadway lined with trees, hedges, walls, parked cars, is a tunnel to your dog, with no escape possible. Always ensure there is plenty of space around you, and note possible turning points so you can dodge out of the way when you see another dog coming, and give him plenty of space.

3. Take a dog’s-eye view

Sounds: Traffic noises - especially in the rain. Big lorries clattering by? Children shrieking? People shouting? Dogs barking? Builders banging and whacking? Rubbish blowing about in the wind? Thunder? Cyclists speeding by?

All these things can build stress in a young or fearful dog. 

Once you get good at noticing these “triggers”, you’ll start to develop a sixth sense about what is going to be the last straw for your dog, and take early evasive action, while you’re still on straw no.1 or straw no.2.

Sometimes you could just sit on a bench, and watch the world go by without having to fight your way through it. Lots of tasty treats posted into your dog’s mouth will help to calm him and change his view of the world as being a scary place. As you see him begin to relax and stop scanning the environment and focus more on you, you’ll be ready to set sail again.

4. Keep your hands soft on your long comfortable lead

It’s very easy to react yourself before your dog does! If you clutch the lead tight and start breathing fast, your dog will be saying “What? Where? Who have I got to bark at?”

Sometimes you can turn and walk away happily. In this case be sure not to pull or yank the lead, which will only add to the stress and probably trigger an outburst even sooner! Practice holding the lead as if it were attached to a baby, and use only gentle and soothing actions.

Giving your dog freedom on lead - instead of shortening the lead and keeping him close up against you - will allow him to express his own body language to the oncoming dog. It’s hard to look nonchalant and friendly if your head is being held up in the air. The freedom to look away at the crucial moment can be all that’s needed to defuse a simmering situation.

What are these dogs saying to each other?

To go back to the first five dogs who did not appear to upset your dog, there is another reason why they didn’t elicit an outburst.

They probably had more relaxed body language.

Dog Body Language is a fascinating subject. It’s how dogs communicate in the absence of the words that we humans have.

Here are a couple of videos which give you an idea of the huge range of language dogs have:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bstvG_SUzMo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00_9JPltXHI

Watch these carefully and you’ll be armed with information that will help you decide whether 21 yards distance from an oncoming dog will be enough, or whether this is the moment you about turn and head off happily in another direction.

If we’re going to communicate with someone from another country who has no English, we’re going to need to learn their language. And as for another species without any verbal language - we need to make the effort to understand their clear signals. Some of these signals are subtle to the point of vanishing, but they are clear enough to another dog. 

A lot of doggy mysteries will be explained to you once you understand what your dog is trying to tell you! So be sure to watch those brief videos - your crash course in Dog - and see what a difference it will make to your dog’s happiness and your walks.

Meanwhile, head here and get your free email course to help change your Growly Dog's walks for good!

And there’s lots of help for you in the Essential Skills for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog book series.

For a thoughtful, kind, and dog-friendly way of working with the dog in front of you (rather than the one you think you wish you had!) check out the books here.

Keen to learn more to help Growly Dog? Get our free e-course here and get started!

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10 Ways to Stop puppy biting

Babies explore the world with their mouths, puppies do the same. The only difference is that babies have gums, while puppies have needles! 

Everyone seems to expect a bit of puppy nipping when they get a puppy. According to my oft-quoted maxim that “What you expect is what you get”, this can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

I can also add that “What you accept is what you get”! And I find many new puppy-owners accept a level of savagery from their puppy which astonishes me. I’m often shown arms covered with scratches and nasty bruises. And I’m here to tell you that this is totally unacceptable!

Help! My puppy thinks my toddler is another puppy!

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This is a frequent cry from first-time puppy-owners - or first-time-since-they-had-children puppy-owners. The perfect family home - full of joy and laughter - that they anticipated when they brought a puppy into their midst is crumbling about their ears. They start to regard the puppy as the enemy, instead of a welcome friend. He’s a nuisance, and has to be kept under increasing control. This is not a good way to start any relationship.

When the puppy is very new and very tiny and wants to play roly-poly with their small child, this may elicit approving nods and smiles from the parents. But they soon learn that the puppy develops at a much faster rate than their baby, and is also armed with sharp claws, sharp teeth, and an astonishing ability to jump high! It’s only when their puppy hits teen-weeks (about fourteen weeks and up) and they realise these games are getting out of hand - when their toddler’s happy gurgles turn to wails of pain and fear - that they decide Something Needs To Be Done. And by now it’s all become a well-established habit. 

The answer is simple, but multi-faceted. There’s a lot going on here.

I can honestly say that my own puppies learn that dogs’ teeth never touch human skin - very, very fast. And they will never have been yelled at. Here’s how it’s done:

Ten ways to stop puppy nipping

1. The ideal age to get a puppy is eight weeks. There are many reasons for this, but for the purposes of this post we’ll focus on how this lowers the chances of the puppy nipping and biting us. By six weeks or so, the bitch has usually had enough of her pups and will often be separated from them for most of the time. But this doesn’t mean they’re not learning! The time from six to eight weeks of age is prime socialising time. They find out what works with their littermates and what doesn’t. Now puppies have a thick fur coat, so the immature jaw control doesn’t do them any damage. But a pup will soon tell his brother if the play got too rough, and the biting too hard. A puppy who is bullying his littermates will become Billy-no-mates until he learns to tone down his enthusiasm. He’ll learn this quickly - and what he’s learning is called Bite Inhibition. He can use his mouth with exquisite control - he can grip without biting, touch without ripping. This is one major reason for getting your puppy at the right age. 

2. Once he arrives with you, the puppy should have a safe den (a crate is ideal) where he can retire or be taken when tired, and which is totally out of bounds to children and other animals. A young puppy should be going down to sleep every hour or two throughout the day, and all night. To find out how to get your pup to sleep through the night from Day 1, read this post.

3. Never leave any child alone with any dog, not even for a moment. If you have to leave the room, take one of them with you. 

4. The same goes for any older dog in the household. They didn’t choose to get a puppy - you did. So to maintain harmony in the home, you need to protect your older dog from endless puppy attention. A general rule would be a maximum of twenty minutes a day of free play, which would be closely supervised, in five-minute bursts. The puppy is not free to pester people, children, or other household residents, whenever he feels like it. Protect older dogs, cats, and small children from too much attention. How much is too much? That depends on the victim. When they say it’s enough, it’s enough.

5. Supervision should be active, not simply a distracted presence in the same house. When puppy and child are both loose at the same time, this should be the parent’s focus. Clever manipulation of sleep and mealtimes may minimise these times a lot, and allow the adult to devote all attention to either the child or the puppy (or, occasionally, themselves!). You have to be sure that you spend time on your puppy and not just drop him into the mix as a tagalong: this puppy is not going to train himself!

6. Both child and pup need to learn manners and boundaries. In neither case is this done by shouting, saying NO, or scolding. Showing and encouraging is the way to go.

7. No-one should ever play with the puppy without a soft toy in their hand. The pup should always be encouraged to play with the toy, down at floor level - not leaping up to grab it from the hand. Releasing the toy is rewarded with another quick game, or a treat if playtime is over. Teeth on skin causes the game to stop for a moment for all sides to regroup and remember the rules. Then the game can resume. If the puppy has gone wild and over the top, this is a sure sign that he’s tired and is no longer able to make rational decisions: an hour or two’s napping in his crate will restore equilibrium. And if your toddler is also screeching and squawking, it looks like you’re going to get a peaceful couple of hours while they both have a nap!

8. No-one may interact with the puppy at all unless all his four feet are on the floor. This gets easier as time goes by, and you’ll have a shorter and shorter time to wait before you can address your pup. Start on Day 1, at eight weeks old! No attention is given till feet are all on the floor. The split second the feet arrive on the floor you reward with attention - down at his level. He’ll learn very fast!

9. Teach the puppy which games or parts of games are acceptable. It’s quite possible for a dog to understand that they may chase something but not bring it down. Think Border Collie - these amazing dogs can replicate their instinctive hunting patterns by stalking, flanking, driving and chasing sheep, but they never close in for the kill. Friendly chase games in the garden are great for using up lots of energy from both the child and the dog. A very mouthy puppy can be encouraged to carry a soft toy in his mouth, so there’s no danger of grabbing. Teach your children to play statues the moment the pup gets over-excited and tries to grab a trouser-leg or sleeve. Once the “prey” is still, the hunt is over, and pup will let go - especially if a moving toy is whizzed past his nose. It goes without saying - but I’ll say it anyway - that such games must always be very closely supervised.

10. Practice makes perfect! The more you play controlled tug games with your puppy, the better he’ll get at instantly releasing the toy when you ask (to start with, just hold a tasty treat to his nostrils and wait for him to let go) and waiting patiently for the game to start again. He’ll learn that the opportunity to play is dependent on demonstrating impulse control.

You got a puppy for your family because you wanted your children to enjoy their childhood with a dependable friend - perhaps as you did when you were a child. But don’t toss natural safeguards out of the window!

In time your adult dog will be your growing children’s very best friend. But while he’s still a baby your puppy needs a lot of guidance and management. You can’t expect to toss the puppy into the family and let him sink or swim. You were already busy every moment of the day before your puppy arrived. So you’re going to need to carve out some time for playing with him and teaching him what he can do to please you, while still having a whale of a time being a dog.

If you haven’t been near a dog training school for years, you’ll be glad to know that many have changed beyond recognition! The very best schools now teach mostly through games, and they are entirely force-free. You should feel that you and your children are welcome at the class, and you should also feel confident that the trainer could “train” your toddler in the same way as they show you how to train your puppy, without you being concerned for your child. No doubt you teach your toddler with kindness and patience. There’s no need to act differently with your puppy - who’s merely another toddler in your family, and who has to be managed, and learn to follow the rules, just the same as the other children. 

You simply have to show him how.

If you want a step-by-step guide to everything about your new puppy, get New Puppy! the latest book in the popular Brilliant Family Dog series.

And don't go without your free Guide! 

Start the change with your puppy or dog with our free Workshop packed with ideas and strategies - all force-free!

Resources:

Why is my dog biting me?

How close is too close for your dog?

Let’s think of ourselves first.

• How close is too close to your child?

• How close is too close to your friend?

• How close is too close to your postman?

• How close is too close to a stranger asking directions?

• How close is too close to a drunk, shouting in the street?

Clearly, you’ll have a different answer for each question. Our personal space requirements vary from situation to situation. They also vary across the planet.

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The Japanese, for instance, prefer a larger personal space than many Westerners are used to, and it may not be breached by touching! That is the height of insolence.

So the personal space we have which is an essential survival mechanism can also be affected by culture and learning.

Our dogs are just the same!

What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander

Dogs too have a personal space. 

But because dogs are so fast, their personal space is much larger than ours. And the cultural differences come in too, in the form of breed characteristics. 

Companion dogs who have been bred to stay close to their owners will tend to manage with a smaller space. If you have a guarding or guardian breed - then they alert to anything that shouldn’t be on or near their “patch”. Their space is huge. 

These are factors you need to keep in mind when out and about with your dog.

What is an acceptable space for you to pass someone on the street, may not be acceptable to your dog. You will have to teach her that the passing person has been assessed by you as non-threatening, and does not need to be jumped up on, barked at, or grabbed while passing.

Fitting into our way of life is not straightforward for our dog. We kind of assume they’ll just come ready-programmed to respond the same way we do. But we have been learning for twenty years (or many more!) how to relate to our fellows, and have a headstart by virtue of the fact that we are the same species. 

Teaching your dog the social skills necessary to fit in with our world is essential. But it shouldn’t go against your particular dog’s natural instincts. You chose that breed because of her characteristics. So you need to work with them to achieve a dog who is comfortable in the places we take her.

And how about other dogs?

When it comes to your dog’s personal space with regard to another dog, then that space is bigger again! 

So passing someone on the street within your personal space may work for your dog. If that person has a dog with them, it may change things entirely! 

If your dog tends to shoot first and ask questions later, then changing your response to passing people with dogs will make your walks infinitely more comfortable and stress-free. You need to develop a kind of radar scanner on the top of your head, which will pick people and dogs out at a great distance, giving you time to plan your getaway. While your dog is seeing the oncoming dog, you can post some quick treats into her mouth, then with a cheery “Let’s go!” turn and head along your escape route, giving more treats all the while. 

You can simply cross the road, wander down a side-road or driveway, or even turn and go the other way till there is sufficient space to pass. Playing a quick focus game with your dog will help.

As any tension we feel in a situation rapidly passes down the lead to our dog, then minimising our stress levels will help to lower hers. So, instead of seeing a dog approaching, hoisting the lead up to your chest and winding it six times round your hand as you gasp - sure to get your dog saying “Who? Where? What have I got to bark at?” - try doing the exact opposite:

When you see a dog coming, your first response will be to relax your shoulders, relax your hands, and breathe out,

Just this new habit alone will make a tremendous difference to your walks. It’ll help to keep your dog calm, and when your dog is calm - you can be calm. And when you are calm - your dog can be calm! It’s a virtuous circle you want to get into, and it starts with you changing your response to an oncoming dog.

That response is totally understandable, if in the past an oncoming dog has resulted in your dog reacting - barking, lunging, as if her life depended on it. But, while understandable, it’s not helpful!

Maybe your walk will take a little longer with these detours. As long as you’re both enjoying it - who cares?

For some solid advice on how to manage your reactive dog so that walks are less stressful all round, get your free email course here.

And there’s lots of help for you in Essential Skills for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog: Books 1-3: Understanding your fearful, reactive, or aggressive dog, and strategies and techniques to make change

If your dog is bald you can skip this one

Cricket is a whippet. That means that she has a very short, very fine, coat. The longest hairs on her body are what you may loosely describe as tail feathering. But you need a bit of imagination to detect the feather.

So she needs very little attention in the hair-trimming department. 

Not so for most dogs on the planet. Most of them need quite a lot of hair attention. 

Let’s have a look at the ways their lot can be improved by a pair of scissors (preferably very sharp hairdressers’ or groomers’ scissors), an electric hair trimmer, maybe dog-grooming clippers, and a haemostat.

Start at the front

First look at your dog. 

Can you see him? Good. 

Can he see you? Hmm.

Many breeds have hair covering their eyes. This may be from droopy eyebrows, hairs standing up on their muzzle, a shaggy fringe, a general mop of floppy curls. 

Whatever the cause, you need to get the hair out of their eyes! 

If they can’t see properly they will not be able to make good judgments about what they’re looking at. Getting their focus may be hard, and they will be continually surprised by things just outside their vision.

You can use hair gel (make sure it’s safely lickable), hair grips or bands, shaping with the scissors, trimming with the clippers - or a visit to the groomer. 

But make sure your dog can see clearly.

Check the lugholes!

Working back from the eyes, take a look at the ears. 

Dogs with floppy, hairy ears will suffer from knots and tangles, burrs and thorns, food dried on at the bottom of their ears, and mats tweaking the skin behind their ears (ouch!). 

These can all be fairly easily dealt with with your high-quality scissors. If they’ve got a lot of hair on the underside of the ear you could thin that too.

The vital thing you must check for - especially with the fluffies (all the poodle crosses and suchlike) - is inside the ear canal. If there’s hair growing down inside you must remove it before it harbours grass seeds, mites, and general dirt and junk leading to infections. 

This is where you need your haemostat. It’s shaped like scissors, but the two blunt “blades” clamp the hair instead of cutting it. It’s what surgeons use to clamp veins. You can see it in the Dog Grooming Essentials Guide download you can get below

It’s so much easier than using your fingers to pluck the hair out, reaches in far enough and does the job quickly and efficiently. Your dog doesn’t like it? No, that’s understandable, but he’d like the pain of an ear infection and red, swollen ears even less. So it’s just something that has to be did.

Get your free illustrated Dog Grooming Essentials Guide to show you what you need.

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Paws, Knees, and Boompsadaisy

Underbelly: check that the genital areas are free of excess hair, enabling the dog to keep himself clean. 

If you have a fluffy - with constantly-growing hair - you’ll need to shave the area around the anus. Otherwise you’ll have a horrible dried-on mess to deal with!

Dogs with very soft wispy hair will get tight tangles in their armpits and groin, so you can trim the hair a bit shorter with scissors. In the summer they may be glad of much less hair on their belly.

Hold the hair between your first two fingers and keep your fingers between your dog and the scissors.

Lastly, have a look at your dog’s feet. Do they resemble floormops? If so, they’ll be slipping and sliding around when their feet are dry, and slopping mud and mess everywhere when they’re wet. 

Feet!

Lacy's feet before trimming

Transformation! Lacy's feet after trimming

The tool de rigueur for this job is the trimmer. Often sold for beards, sideburns, etc. it’s safe and easy to use. You can’t snip the webs with it, and I find my dogs enjoy the gentle buzzing sensation it gives them. 

Work down and up between the pads, and finish with shaping the outside of the paw. 

Neat feet will prevent a lot of hazards - including mudpies between the toes, scalds, grass seeds, burrs and thorns. They’ll save you a lot of towelling dry and floor-cleaning. And your puppy will not slither and slip when you ask him to sit on the kitchen floor.

My Border Collies are regularly upside down on my lap having their feet trimmed. Coco Poodle has his feet shaven all over, and looks very trim and smart.

And even Cricket the Whippet has this one hair trimming treatment occasionally - her construction means that she props herself when she sits, so on a smooth floor her front feet slide away from her. So she doesn’t escape my ministrations entirely!

If all of this scares you rigid, find a good dog-friendly groomer and get her to do it. You may be surprised to hear me suggest a “dog-friendly” groomer! But - just like trainers - it’s the way they treat the dog that’s more important (to me) than their skill in trimming him neatly. You don’t want your dog regarding a trip to the groomer like some of us regard a trip to the dentist!

But these maintenance clips really are easy to do and you can quickly gain confidence and get good and efficient at it. Don’t try them all at once! One paw a day, or one ear, will be fine.

And seriously - if your dog is bald, you’ll need special care for his skin to keep it moist and healthy. And in our British winters, he’ll definitely need a woolly jumper!

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Can my dog’s behaviour be affected by me?

When people have a problem with their dog, they tend to see it as a problem with their dog. 

But it takes two to tango! And if your dog is presenting “problem behaviour” you can bet your boots that you have something to do with it.

Yes - it may start with your dog, but it quickly becomes enmeshed with what you do. And sometimes we can make things worse - when we really, really want to make things better. 

An interesting study was published recently, linking the owner’s hormone levels with the hormone levels of the dog in their charge. We’re talking here about Cortisol, known as the “stress hormone” because it’s released during stress. It operates the same way in the dog as in us.

The study, which you can see here, goes into great scientific detail about the links between our anxiety and the anxiety of our dog. Suffice it to say, that if you’re worried, your dog will be worried. And if your dog is worried, then you will be worried. An unholy vicious circle that causes poor behaviour to escalate.

That is, until you know how to handle the situations which have up to now been stressful for you. Once you know what to do, and how to lessen the stress for your dog, your own stress levels will automatically fall. 

Training people and their dogs together

What I find fascinating is how strong the link is between owner and dog. Never be tempted to say “Oh, it’s just a dog.”

This bond between dogs and humans is what enables the astonishing feats which we are beginning to take for granted - an assistance dog being able to predict an impending attack in an owner who suffers from certain conditions, for example. Seizure Alert Dogs help many people manage their epilepsy. And there are other diseases which cause dangerous imbalances which these dogs can anticipate, giving their owner the time to find a safe place and take their medication.

So if this link is so strong between us and our pooches, it brings into question the idea of having someone else train your troublesome dog for you.

The best trainers (by that I mean enlightened force-free trainers who understand the science of Learning Theory and what actually makes beings tick) spend a lot of time training the owner to view their dog differently. Some of my private training sessions, for instance, focus almost entirely on the owner’s state of mind. Any training I do with the dog is there to help the owner understand how to relate to their dog, rather than me training the dog for them.

And this calls into question the popularity of residential training for dogs - sending the problem dog away to a trainer who will fix the dog for you. It may be effective insofar as the dog can be taught new ways to respond to what he previously found overstimulating or frightening. But if handed back to an owner who has not had the benefit of this training - for themselves, not for the dog - there is not going to be very much change.

A quick handover session is not going to be enough to fundamentally change how a person views their dog - or their dog’s supposed “problem behaviour”. It’s no use doing magical training with the dog if the person the dog has to live with has not changed.

For your dog to change, you need to change

Learning to cope with a dog’s “problem behaviour” - often the dog’s inability to function freely in our world, manifested as reactivity or anxiety or aggression - needs a fundamental shift in the owner’s perception. If you don’t understand why your dog is kicking off at the sight of an advancing person, or a piece of litter on the ground, you will be caught unprepared and unable to change the situation. That’s enough to make anyone anxious! 

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Control is not understanding

In society, our response to someone misbehaving is to put more controls on them. Restrict them, restrain them, prevent them. And so when confronted with a problem with our dog, we can have a knee-jerk reaction and follow the same process. 

But more control is not the answer!

I don’t want to have to control my dog - I want my dog to control herself.

Teaching your dog to control herself is going to require understanding from you - understanding what the problem is exactly (it may not be what you think it is - dogs are not humans) and why your dog is doing what she’s doing. Only then are you in a position to effect a change.

Most of us have busy lives. We got our pet as a companion to make our days more enjoyable, not to make them harder! So perhaps the easiest way for you to make the changes you may feel are necessary, is to find yourself a first-class, well-qualified, force-free trainer who will be able to teach the both of you. 

All “trainers” are not created equal

You’ll need to do some research to find someone reliable - but they are  there. You’ll find a list at the end of this post which will get you going in the right direction. Avoid anything that talks of Pack Theory, Dominance, or (the worst deception of the lot) “Balanced training”, which effectively means that they reward with one hand and punish with the other. 

And if you’re naturally an anxious person - think how learning how to alleviate your dog’s anxiety will help you to relax and feel better able to cope. Now your dog really will be fulfilling the role of companion and helper! You can both forge forward together.

You can start off looking for help with a free email course here, and you’ll find some very accessible books (no science or jargon!) right here.

As ever, add your thoughts in the Comments below, or contact me direct here.

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