Dogs and children

We love our children to grow up with dogs. 

And we love our dogs to get on with children.

BUT

- and there’s a big but! -

We have to remember that a dog has limited patience. And a human - even one they know - getting up close and personal without asking .. well, you wouldn’t like that, would you! 

And while dogs have many ways to show that they are uncomfortable, most dog-owners don’t recognise any of them - until teeth are involved.

So have a look at this excellent chart from Kendal Shepherd: 

If people were quicker to pick up on just the first three signals at the bottom, many fewer instances of the top three would occur. 

Have a look at our picture at the top of this article. This dog is trapped by the furniture and is clearly asking the child to leave him alone.

And it’s up to parents to control their child! 

It can be very difficult for a dog-owner to manage the situation if a free-range toddler launches itself at their dog, squawking “Doggie!” 

After all, you don’t allow your child to be loose around an open fire! And we don’t see cute photos of babies lying in fires all over the internet.

But babies lying on dogs could be just as dangerous. 

And who gets the blame ….?

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And if you need help with what toys to choose for your dog, just drop a comment below and I’ll be more than happy to help. 

How much should I walk my dog?

There’s no law that you have to take your dog out every day.

And if you have a reactive, anxious, fearful dog, you probably know this already. Venturing out into the battleground is too much if it’s being repeated constantly. After an outburst from your dog you need to give those hormones time to settle. Three days is the right amount of time.

Sometimes a vigorous game in the garden is the answer (especially if he’s had a fright recently). You can find some exciting new toys here to ginger up your games!

Sometimes a cuddle in the armchair hits the spot. Specially if you’re feeling under the weather, or you look out of the window and see horrendous rain and wind ..

A bit of training, some agility or hoopers or scent games will do a lot to tire your dog’s mind. He’ll love Hide and Seek, and so will your giggling children!

And as for walks - REMEMBER, your dog doesn’t need to be walked every day.

But you do need to have interaction and mental stimulation daily, and getting puffed out in a game is also good (for us too!).

What I do with my dogs

In the recent cold snap here in parts of England, we had snow and ice lying for five days. I can hear you over there in snowy countries, chuckling - but, you see, we have it so rarely that it’s not worth the money to gear up for it.

This meant that our local country roads were icy death-traps. I didn’t walk my anxious youngster, Yannick. I knew that if we met something he found alarming, he’d have me face down in the snow!

So I wrapped up well and we did lots of flirt pole games and Hoopers in the icy wastes of the garden. 

If you’re feeling trepidation about taking your dog out, that it all feels too much like hard work, DON’T!

It’s ok. You have permission!

Enjoy your dog. 

What’s a flirt pole? 

It’s just a lunge whip with a teddy bear limb attached. 

Here’s a video showing how I use it to exercise and amuse my dogs, all the while building huge impulse control!

Dogs and Christmas

Well, we’re coming up to the time of the Man in Red!

And I suppose it won’t go amiss to remind you of potential hazards for your dog - especially with visitors, children, general upheaval and chaos in the home. 

Your usual routines and precautions may go out the window, and if you’re not careful this can have tragic results.

First, physical dangers:

Chocolate, raisins, sultanas, grapes - so mince pies, Christmas cake, Christmas pudding etc are all off limits. You don’t want to be spending your holiday at the vets! 

There’s also ibuprofen (deadly), and xylitol (think sweets, low-calorie drinks), bits of plastic toys, packaging nasties, cooked poultry bones, alcohol, plates and glasses left on the floor, and doors left open (bye-bye dog!).

New Puppy

You need to protect your puppy’s routine as far as you can. 

An over-excited, exhausted puppy flying about on adrenaline is not going to end well. Think ahead to plan how you can ring-fence his naps, and ensure people aren’t giving his immature digestive system unsuitable things to eat. (That’s trainer-speak for giving him the squits!) I’m sure carpet-cleaning is not on your holiday agenda.

Christmas decorations and baubles? Keep them out of the way of the pup! Like with our babies, everything is tested in the mouth.

You may need to put a playpen round the Christmas tree if he can’t resist all those pine needles and electric wires ..

Family Dog

This won’t be such a culture shock as for the new puppy. He should know where he can slope off to to find some peace. Be firm on visitors resisting those limpid brown eyes and not stuffing him with dangerous foodstuffs. 

Teenagers have been known to think it funny to give alcohol to a dog. Remember, you don’t want to be spending Christmas with your dog on a drip at the vet’s.

Your family pet will be great for getting people to stop eating for a minute and go out for a walk. Let him run and dance and play! Snowballs optional.

Growly Dogs

For most of our reactive dogs we focus on keeping their life as calm as possible. 

So keep this up as much as you can. 

If you have visitors, be sure your dog has a safe place to retire to if it’s all too much.

And make sure your “But dogs love me!” visitors are kept under control!

If you have inquisitive children visiting, you may want to lock the door of the room your dog is sheltering in. It only takes a moment for things to go pear-shaped …

For all dogs!

Only ONE person should have responsibility for the dog. If you have to hand over responsibility to someone else while you’re busy, be sure you’re both quite clear on this.

You don’t want to hear, “But I thought YOU were watching him!” after some disaster …

If your dog is unused to visitors, pees with excitement, or gets over-stimulated at the doorbell, arrange to meet your guests outside the house.  

So, keep all these things in mind, make a plan for your particular dog/s, and have a wonderful holiday! 

(By the way, dogs don’t really like being dressed up and laughed at, in the main.)

Want to learn how Lacy could resist that carrot cake?

Leave It! is a step-by-step guide to a begging-free Christmas!

RESOURCES:

Your Puppy’s first Christmas is coming!

Keep your dog and your Christmas food safe!

Your Dog and Christmas Visitors

Beware the deadly mince pie! Christmas hazards for dogs

Dogs are more resilient than we may think!

A friend had to rush her 7-year-old agility dog to the emergency vet recently. He had to stay in for loads of tests (I guess they’re insured!) and the vet was very glum about his prognosis.

Talking informally to a vet she does agility with, however, gave a very different story. That vet, giving a private opinion, reckoned her dog would be up and working again in no time.

And indeed he’s back home after a few days and the owner’s having difficulty keeping him quiet!

Vets are naturally gloomy, on the whole. The younger the vet, I find, the gloomier. Older, more experienced, vets have more actual history to draw on. 

This is partly because vets see a lot of sick dogs.

And it’s partly to do with their insurance and litigation fears.

But they do see the worst cases, with the worst outcomes.

Lacy had a stroke

My Lacy, who is now 15, had her third or fourth (I forget) stroke a few months ago. She could barely totter, head all crooked.

We didn’t trouble the vet.

10 days later she was trotting ahead of me on walks. And a few days after that she was able to do the stairs unsupervised. 

Dogs have their own agenda. 

They don’t worry ahead to how their life may change. 

They just know they want to get from here to over there, and they get on with it. 

Naturally we have to defer to our vet’s knowledge. If you ask their advice you should listen!

But take their gloomiest predictions with a pinch of salt.

Let nature decide.

And enjoy your dog while you can. 

Dogs Learn Fast!

Zig Ziglar said (amongst many other brilliant things):

If you’re not willing to learn, no one can help you. 

If you’re determined to learn, no one can stop you.

Never a truer word, and all that!

We are learning all the time. 

Our dogs are learning all the time.

So .. what are we learning?

For many of us, it’s the convoluted plot of the latest tv drama, or the scores of our favourite sports team, the latest fads and fashions, a spat on social media .. 

Our dogs? Ooh, they’re learning to bark at .. anything, to raid the bin, chew up shoes, dig holes in the garden, bounce on visitors ..

We and our dogs have massive brains!

And if we don’t train these brains, we are missing out on a whole lot of life.

Let’s look at dogs specifically, as you don’t need me to lecture you on the timewasting we all get sucked into in our digital age 😳.

Our dogs are a clean sheet. They’re ready to learn, and learn they will. And it’s down to us to ensure they’re learning what we want them to learn. 

And that means we have to learn ourselves.

Back to Zig: 

If you’re not willing to learn, no one can help you. 

If you’re determined to learn, no one can stop you. 

If you’re not willing to learn, you can’t help your dog!

If you’re determined to learn, you won’t stop teaching your dog!

There are few things more rewarding than watching your dog work out a problem you’ve presented him with.

Watching the wheels turn, as he thinks hard.

Then seeing the light bulb over his head as he works it out, and solves the problem!

Then (this is where the magic happens) you are teaching him to think for himself - so next time he sees that or a similar problem, he’s able to apply his learning and solve this new thing too!

See Coco working on stacking beakers in this video:

He’s worked out how to pick up the slippery plastic beaker, how to lift it without dropping it, he can drop it into place in the stack, and he can choose the next beaker (with a little guidance). And when he makes a mistake, see how he’s able to correct it to get the desired result.

This is in fact a useful skill. Coco has become “Dogbowl Monitor” and collects and stacks the dog bowls after meals. Very useful! 

He also picks up screwed up or discarded paper that has missed the bin and puts it in for me. 

How do I teach this to my dog?

It’s a gradual building up of confidence (in your dog, and in your ability to teach successfully) which means your dog will enjoy trying to work things out. 

You can’t teach it overnight, unless you have already successfully taught your dog to do lots of the component parts. In this case, picking things up, hold, select, put down carefully (not flinging or dropping), listening to you ..

There’s a whole host of things your dog will learn before clever tricks like this.

And where better to learn than in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy! 

But just before you rush off to enrol .. Hold your hosses! I’m diving into the Black Friday spirit with something very special for you if you haven’t yet joined our lovely Academy. 

Take a deep breath, bookmark this page, and watch your inbox (and Brilliant Family Dog facebook and instagram pages) for news of what’s coming .. Only a few more days!

Are you determined to learn?

This could be your chance to have your dog clearing up the wrapping paper on Christmas Day!

Dogs are individuals

I wrote a piece recently about my struggles with Yannick - slowly building his confidence while keeping him safe.

This resonated with a number of people, who wrote to say they were glad that I - as a professional dog trainer - had admitted to this, as trainers usually speak as if it’s all easy:

“Do this, five minutes later you’ll have the perfect dog!”

Now we know deep down, that that is far from the truth!

How training really works for the challenging dog

Do this, repeat repeat repeat, adapt, repeat, modify, repeat … and eventually you’ll have a dog who can cope with life without a meltdown - and actually enjoy it!

It’s a bit like having children. 

We get the one we’re given.

And however carefully you may source your dog, we get the dog we’re given. 

I know this well, as my first dog was a Battersea puppy rescued from the street who became a Working Trials Champion, and Yannick’s pedigree is bristling with champions of one sort and another, and a string of excellent breeders who give their pups a great start. 

Just like children in the same family - same parents, same environment, same upbringing … chalk and cheese! 

There is more variation between individuals than between breeds.

Or as Grisha Stewart (inventor of BAT) put it, “Every dog is a study of one.”

You need to lower your expectations for a while, and accept anything you’re being offered which is even a tiny step in the right direction.

Expecting too much will lead to disappointment, disillusionment, and a disaffected dog.

But the joyous thing about having a challenging dog is that you create a far greater bond by working so hard with them.

You find out all their quirks and foibles and love them all the more.

Sometimes we may look at someone who has an easy dog, never any trouble, (perhaps not as big a character???) and we may envy them.

But look what we’ve got instead! 

We’re the winners.

If you're blessed with a dog who finds life a challenge, check out this Masterclass for Growly Dogs, that has lessons that will help you both.