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Take it easy with your dog

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread - Alexander Pope

That is so true when it comes to dog training! 

We get an idea of what we want our dog to do - respond as we’d like to a knock on the door, manage fireworks calmly, walk beside us on a loose lead … whatever it is, we say, “That’s what I’ll teach today!”

Come the end of the day - a frustrating day, to be sure - and you say, “I tried that and it didn’t work.”

Imagine your three-year-old attempting a PhD dissertation! 

We can’t develop new behaviours in a day … why should our dog? 

Slow and steady for your dog

Slow and steady wins the race - Aesop’s Fables

Leads on, now we wait patiently at the door

That’s another saying we can call to mind. 

The tortoise used craft and guile to beat the fast, agile, hare.

Let’s look at the sort of craft and guile we can employ when training our dogs! And I’ll use one example, and break it down.




Calm when the doorbell rings

The mad, barking, leaping, response to a knock on the door may be an entrenched behaviour by now. In that case, all the more reason to teach slowly, step-by-step, what it is you’d like your dog to do instead.

You see, dogs can’t not-do. They have to do

He can’t freeze mid-air and wait silently for you to go to the door.

You have to teach him what you’d like instead.

Let’s say you want him to lie down, quietly, on his bed.

So you’ll start, when no-one is around, just sending him to his bed and rewarding him.

Next you’ll add a little duration, so he relaxes into the bed, rather than staying on his toes, ready to leap.

Once this is established, you can start randomly sending him to his bed at any time, from any place in the house. Take this s-l-o-w-l-y. First succeed in sending him from one place, then another in the same room, and so on. 

You’ve taught the ‘down on your bed’ and now you’re consolidating. You can take a long time on this stage. 

Once your dog is happy to play this game with you at any time, you can stand by the front door and send him. Once ready, the next step is to knock on the door and send him, go outside and knock from the other side of the door, and so on. Always reward heavily for each correct response. 

If you have a doorbell, you can play around with a remote doorbell and move quite quickly forward. 

Finally, you can take it a step further. Ideally with a friend who will come and knock on the door, knowing he’ll never be let in. It may take quite a while to get your dog calmly onto his bed, and it’s crucial to solidify this. 

For my dogs, it’s the clank of the gate latch that sets them off. So your stooge person will need to start out at the gate!

What you want your dog to do is the variable here. 

Maybe you’d like him to accompany you to the door. In that case, have him come to you to clip on his lead, and first work through the door manners system in this post and video: Does your dog crash the door??

Once you’ve taught this, you are guaranteed sanity every time you touch any door handle, anywhere. 

Don’t forget, if your dog’s favourite reward is a quick game with a toy, be sure to check out the super, long-lasting toys here and don’t miss out on your special discount! 

It takes time to shape your dog’s behaviour

So you can see, it takes time. It’s not something you can change in an afternoon.

And also, you have to break it down into steps. Most things we want our dog to do are a series of steps.

A recall needs response to the call (maybe away from something as intoxicating as a bunny chase), a smart return, at least a pause when he arrives with you - possibly a sit. This requires teaching the several steps separately.

Walking nicely on lead needs the dog to know exactly where you want him to be when on lead, then to keep that position regardless of your speed or direction. This takes time! Especially with a dog who naturally wants to charge ahead, nose down. 

Getting your dog relaxed during firework season. This needs Desensitisation and Counterconditioning, as you’re working against fear. He isn’t deciding to get in a state, it’s not a voluntary action. So take your time, take it as slowly as you can - then a bit more slowly. 

Read: Counterconditioning doggy fears!

Want more dog training tips? 

Head over to my.brilliantfamilydog.com and look for the Search box at the top of the page. Here’s an example of what you’ll find:

 
 

This is an amazing resource. See all the results it brought up, over on the left?

Whenever you find yourself thinking, “What would Beverley do now?” this is where you’ll find out. 

It will search all my books, courses, blog articles, and community answers. 

Bob’s your uncle! 

The tech is ultra-fast. But for us hoomans and our dogs, sometimes it’s better to be the tortoise than the hare.

RESOURCES: 

Find quick answers by searching everything I’ve written here: 

https://my.brilliantfamilydog.com/search






Your dog is an individual!

There is more variation between individuals than between breeds.

Yes, it’s one of my favourite sayings.

And I can’t say it often enough. 

Yes, it’s true that spaniels are in general more like each other than like say, huskies, or whippets. But you can find plenty of spaniels who don’t like hunting, huskies who are couch-potatoes, and whippets who can’t run for toffee. 

The thing is, that humans and dogs are very similar in this respect. 

Take your own family! I’m sure you’ll find there are siblings who had the same parents, the same upbringing, the same food, the same school … and yet who are totally different in many ways. 

It’s one of the joys - and challenges - of parenthood, to find what works for each individual child. Lumping them all together will come to grief, sooner or later. 

Same with dogs!

And it’s just the same with dogs. Just because they happen to be the same breed as your previous dog doesn’t mean they’ll be a carbon copy (copy/paste, or duplicate, for younger readers!). 

Even pups from the same litter show huge divergence in character from very early on. 

Sarah Whitehead says: Behavioural scientists have been measuring these early differences for decades. Even at just eight weeks of age, puppies in a single litter vary in confidence, sociability, curiosity, activity levels and their responses to unfamiliar situations. (Wilsson & Sundgren, 1998; Fratkin et al., 2013).

Further, in a more recent study (Barnard et al, 2017) it was found that 

“the effect of litter emerges as playing a stronger role than breed in modulating puppies’ behaviours … The large variability both within and across breeds found here, mirrors results with adult dogs.”

“The large within-breed variability found among a generic sample of breeders, highlights the importance of shifting the attention of future dog owners from just ‘breed selection’ to a more careful assessment of the pups’ characteristics. Relinquishment of dogs to shelters may be linked to failed expectations, which could be fuelled by an inadequate/misleading view of a specific breed. Hence, increasing public awareness of the importance of visiting the breeder, asking about breeding strategies, seeing the parents of the litter and assessing individual behavioural differences among littermates are key steps to engender informed buyers.”

Now, where have you heard all that before?? ;-)

See the resources below for clues. 

Dogs are more resilient than we may think!

A friend had to rush her 7-year-old agility dog to the emergency vet recently. He had to stay in for loads of tests (I guess they’re insured!) and the vet was very glum about his prognosis.

Talking informally to a vet she does agility with, however, gave a very different story. That vet, giving a private opinion, reckoned her dog would be up and working again in no time.

And indeed he’s back home after a few days and the owner’s having difficulty keeping him quiet!

Vets are naturally gloomy, on the whole. The younger the vet, I find, the gloomier. Older, more experienced, vets have more actual history to draw on. 

This is partly because vets see a lot of sick dogs.

And it’s partly to do with their insurance and litigation fears.

But they do see the worst cases, with the worst outcomes.

Lacy had a stroke

My Lacy, who is now 15, had her third or fourth (I forget) stroke a few months ago. She could barely totter, head all crooked.

We didn’t trouble the vet.

10 days later she was trotting ahead of me on walks. And a few days after that she was able to do the stairs unsupervised. 

Dogs have their own agenda. 

They don’t worry ahead to how their life may change. 

They just know they want to get from here to over there, and they get on with it. 

Naturally we have to defer to our vet’s knowledge. If you ask their advice you should listen!

But take their gloomiest predictions with a pinch of salt.

Let nature decide.

And enjoy your dog while you can. 

Time off for you and your dog

I had my first cold in six years a while ago - and boy, did it hit me!

So I had to cut dogwalks right down.


🚶🏼No walks for a couple of days.

🚶🏼🚶🏼Then ten minutes for the youngster.

🚶🏼🚶🏼🚶🏼Next day 15 minutes for the other two

🚶🏼🚶🏼🚶🏼🚶🏼🚶🏼Eventually back up to normal!


But the point is - nobody died!

No dogs got upset. No dogs climbed the walls - I wouldn’t have had the strength to do anything about it anyway!

Everyone was fine. Lots of cuddles, a few gentle games.

All was well.

Time for a break for both you and your dog?

So.

There is no need to feel worried if for some reason your dog isn’t getting the walks they’re used to.

We take care of them, and we know we have to stop walks when they are overwhelmed, injured, or unwell.

We have to take care of us too!

If we’re overwhelmed, injured, or unwell - then maybe walks need to go.

Of course, if you live in beautiful countryside and the weather is wonderful, and you have calm, non-reactive dogs, then it could be just what the doctor ordered.

But, if you’re blessed with a Growly Dog … then give it a miss till you’re feeling stronger.

We’re approaching the busiest and silliest season of the year. Maybe you’ll have a lot going on, with extra financial strain, visitors, travelling …

Don’t make your life harder!

The days are short, more dogs are out in a much smaller window of daylight.

As long as there is some entertainment or stimulation for your dog (and visitors and travelling are plenty of entertainment and definitely plenty of stimulation!) then you’re ok.

Perhaps some puzzles (lickimat, kong, cardboard boxes and tubes with treats inside, actual doggy puzzles).

A bit of Focus Game .. (Don’t know the Focus Game? Ooh - you need to check out the Brilliant Family Dog Academy: start here!)

Have you got a good retrieve? Now is the ideal time to teach it! You can teach the basics sitting or lying down - the dog will be doing the work. Here’s how

Then get back on the sofa.

Together.

Are you building dog memories for your children?

I was thinking about Simon recently. Don’t know what brought it to mind particularly, but there he was, in my mind. Clear as day.

Simon was my first dog.The same age as me. So when he died aged 11 I was shattered.

I wrote a long essay for a national competition, and so full of feeling was it that I got shortlisted and had to read my essay out to the whole school. 

Writing his story did help me mend, though.

Childhood plus a dog!

What could be better than having a mate to accompany me on all my wanderings? Back in those days, child abduction was not in the front of everyone’s mind, so I had the freedom to go where I liked. Whether on my trusty red bike or on foot, Simon was always there.

Now I look back, it’s a great life for a dog - spending his time loafing about with unpredictable and always fascinating children! My brother and our friends would be with us too. 

Poor Simon had to sit in the back of my brother’s home-made go-kart and hurtle down our hill! I don’t remember him trying to escape, and he always enjoyed car rides, with his spaniel ears straight out behind him in the wind, so I’m guessing (hoping!) he enjoyed it..

Is this what you have for your kids?

So the question is, do you provide this companionship for your children? Do they have the joy of wandering, protected, with their comrade-in-arms? Ready to take on the world as long as their friend is at their side?

I’m sure I told Simon lots of things I woudn’t even have told my friends!

And, as you read above, it was an early introduction to grief for me. It was much worse than even my grandparents dying. 

Whether that shows that I value dogs over people ;-) or simply that long-distance relationships with grandparents (mine always seemed to be very old) were not so real to me, I don’t know. 

But this I do know: this early friendship was seminal. 

 

Want a child-friendly way to teach your child how to train their dog?
Explore our free and premium courses, where you'll find simple concepts, short videos and easy-to-follow lessons that children and grown-ups can enjoy together.

 
 

 


 

 

 

 

Change for you, change for your dog


Change. We all want change. We’re always asking for change.

And usually the change is all about us, or how things affect us.

Your dog’s not behaving as you’d like - let’s get that CHANGED.

 

🐾 Change what the dog is doing.

🐾 Change how he responds or fails to respond to you.

🐾 The dog has to change!

 

But look at it another way …

Wayne Dyer puts it perfectly:

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Sometimes it’s not the thing you’re looking at that needs changing. 

Sometimes it’s looking at it in relation to yourself that makes the difference.

Why should your dog change?

Up to now, your dog has done certain things. Perhaps getting worse and worse on a daily basis.

And you’ve been letting this happen.

It’s not the dog who needs to change!

It’s you!

When you look at it all holistically, you’ll see that your input - or lack of it - is a major contributory factor to how your dog is.

🐾 When he was chewing those shoes, where were you?

🐾 When he was barking at the doorbell, were you barking at him to be quiet?

🐾 And when he didn’t respond to your call, had you been paying attention to exactly what he was doing? 

Dogs and us

We don’t exist in a vacuum. We interact with other people, things, and the world, and that influences how we feel and what we do.

Your dog? Just the same. 

And the most important interaction in his life is with you!

How to improve your dog’s behaviour

So next time he does something you’re not mad about, take up the mirror and see what you were doing! 

  • How did you contribute to this happening?

  • Did you contribute anything, or had you abdicated responsibility? 

  • How can your dog learn what you want from him if you’re not paying attention and actively teaching him what pleases you?

And if you think this approach has to include telling-off or punishment - no, it doesn’t. There’s no nagging or blaming.

For your dog to change, YOU need to change

Teach your dog what you want. Build that connection with him so he knows what will please you so he has a chance of knowing what action he should choose.

Then you can forget about changing your dog, and simply enjoy him! 


And to start making that change, explore our free and premium courses on teaching your dog to listen.