Change for you, change for your dog

Change. We all want change. We’re always asking for change.

And usually the change is all about us, or how things affect us.

Your dog’s not behaving as you’d like - let’s get that CHANGED.

🐾 Change what the dog is doing.

🐾 Change how he responds or fails to respond to you.

🐾 The dog has to change!

But look at it another way …

Wayne Dyer puts it perfectly:

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Sometimes it’s not the thing you’re looking at that needs changing. 

Sometimes it’s looking at it in relation to yourself that makes the difference.

Why should your dog change?

Up to now, your dog has done certain things. Perhaps getting worse and worse on a daily basis.

And you’ve been letting this happen.

It’s not the dog who needs to change!

It’s you!

When you look at it all holistically, you’ll see that your input - or lack of it - is a major contributory factor to how your dog is.

🐾 When he was chewing those shoes, where were you?

🐾 When he was barking at the doorbell, were you barking at him to be quiet?

🐾 And when he didn’t respond to your call, had you been paying attention to exactly what he was doing? 

Dogs and us

We don’t exist in a vacuum. We interact with other people, things, and the world, and that influences how we feel and what we do.

Your dog? Just the same. 

And the most important interaction in his life is with you!

How to improve your dog’s behaviour

So next time he does something you’re not mad about, take up the mirror and see what you were doing! 

• How did you contribute to this happening?

• Did you contribute anything, or had you abdicated responsibility? 

• How can your dog learn what you want from him if you’re not paying attention and actively teaching him what pleases you?

And if you think this approach has to include telling-off or punishment - no, it doesn’t. There’s no nagging or blaming.

For your dog to change, YOU need to change

Teach your dog what you want. Build that connection with him so he knows what will please you so he has a chance of knowing what action he should choose.

Then you can forget about changing your dog, and simply enjoy him! 

And to start that change in how you are with your dog, watch our free Workshop on Getting your dog to LISTEN!

Slow your anxious dog down!

If you have an anxious dog or puppy - one who tends to panic when out, bolts at any noise, looks as though he’s doing the firewalk as he hauls you down the road, I suggest you first have a quick read of my recent post “Connecting with your Dog”

One of the things I suggested was to incorporate stop-points, so that your dog can assess the area he’s in without being continually bombarded with new sights and sounds.

A student of mine in From Growly Dog to Confident Dog has an extremely anxious dog whose history as an East European street dog filled her with unnamed fears. Her modus operandi when out is “head down, plough along the pavement”!

So when I suggested having stop-points in one of our course coaching calls - where students can ask for individual help - her owner agreed to try it, thinking it would never work.

What happened?

She went to the green in the middle of her village, sat on the bench with a friend, enjoyed a snack, and watched the world go by. Not only did her dog tolerate this - she actually enjoyed it!

So it has now become a regular feature of their walks.

If you have such a place locally, give it a try. Your dog may surprise you!

No village green for your dog?

And here’s another thing you can try, if finding a spot like that is impossible for you and your particular dog.

One trick I use with Yannick when he’s a bit wound up (when isn’t he?!) is to walk in slow circles.

Staying in the same 10yd² area for a while, gives him time to look at it from all angles. And as we circle, he gets all the bugs out and begins to connect with me again - instead of head down, stare, charge.

I’m not expecting perfect heelwork here! I just mosey round in a circle with him on the outside, and gradually his pulling and lurching stops and he starts to walk nicely beside me - for which he can earn treats, of course.

On our local walk there are a few quiet road junctions where we can circle safely, and hop out of the way if a vehicle comes. I say “CAR” and Yannick sits beside me to allow the monster to pass.

Incidentally, this is how I managed his fear of cars - terror as a puppy - simply by giving him due warning. He chooses either to sit beside me or hop up onto the verge or bank at the side of the road. He makes the choice and feels happier about it. And a tractor or lorry is “BIG CAR”!

Have you got a bolter? A panicker? A worrier?

Could you do with some strategies and techniques to help you manage your anxious, reactive, shy, Growly Dog? Start with this free Masterclass and see how you can get in on those regular coaching calls!

What is a dog walk?

We humans think of a walk as going from A to B.

Dogs see it differently. They just find themselves in an area that has to be explored.

If you walk dogs off-lead, they’ll cover 3 to 4 times as much ground as you, often at a fair lick.

They’re sniffing everything. Following their noses.

There are so many blades of grass out there, and EACH ONE has to be investigated! It’s just like walking a toddler, only faster 😊

So even if you can’t let your dog off-lead when out, at least give them a bit of line, pause in a good spot, and let them roam.

You can sit on the grass (get ready for lots of enthusiastic cuddles when you’re down at his level!) or perch on a fence post and watch the world go by.

Who’s the walk for?

And what constitutes a walk, in the dog’s eyes?

Look at it from his point of view, instead of trying to make him see ours.

Dog play for fun and learning!

Playing with your dog is the most important thing you can do.

There - I’ve said it!

It’s not “training”, “correcting”, fighting to get his attention … It’s a way for your dog to see you as the most exciting thing going.

You can be relied upon to respond to him with a game at any time - and this builds adulation in your dog!

How to play with your dog

Now, there are do’s and don’t’s of play.

Endlessly chucking a ball will gradually destroy your dog’s shoulders and can bring on early arthritis.

And we don’t waggle a toy in our dog’s face and expect him to join in. Would you - if I waggled a toy in your face?

What we do is get our toy to behave like prey - that’s what’ll get your dog fired up and engaged!

That’s why I love chaser toys and flirt poles. They’re irresistible to dogs - and they’re a wonderful way to teach impulse control.

After all, your dog won’t be catching any rabbits if he simply flies off whenever he sees one. There’s stalking to be done, stopping still, eying the prey, then - when the time is right - explosive running and a grab.

Now, while you’re twitching your toy about in the grass, as it looks for all the world like a furry creature, you want your dog to WAIT till the right moment. In this case, you decide when that moment is, you give your release word (Gettit! Is mine) and your dog can start the chase.

Here’s a video that shows you the level of impulse control you can build into even the most excited dog by using a chase toy.

You’ll see that the dogs mostly stay in position on the picnic table, can release the toy (Cricket the Whippet finds this hard!) and are fully engaged with the toy when it’s their turn.

You can also see Coco Poodle becoming more thoughtful as racing after the toy fails to work. He develops a new strategy of waiting for the right moment - and that works!

What sort of dog toy?

Chase and tug toys are great for

• Harnessing instinctive drives

• Using the strong hunt-kill sequence to teach self-control

• Focus in high arousal

• Start ‘em young - very young puppies can learn fast

• Exercise!

• Turn-taking to avoid scraps in multi-dog households

.. and it so happens that I’ve found the best chase toys available and arranged a discount for you!

Go to Dog Toys and watch some more detailed videos of me using high-quality toys to teach my dogs, and see how you can do this yourself. (And snatch your discount!)

You’ll see in these videos how fast and furious a “training session” can be - and how much you can achieve in a very short time.

Lessons for you

And for step-by-step lessons for all the skills demonstrated there, check out the free Workshop here and find out how to get the best out of your dog!

Dog Feeding Schedules - how important are they?

I’ve had a couple of people recently looking for help with their puppy because it was screaming all night. On enquiry, I’ve found that the (so-called) breeder - “Greeder”, I’d say - told them to feed 2 meals a day.

Two meals a day, for an 8-week-old small breed puppy!

Totally ridiculous - in fact, cruel.

Can you imagine feeding a new baby twice a day and expecting peace and harmony in the home?

So, while explaining this to the reader - who was of course not to blame but doing their ill-informed best - I was thinking about feeding schedules in general.

They are not set in stone!

 Feeding can, indeed should, change over the dog’s life.

Let me give you some examples.

My usual schedule with a young puppy is to start with 5 or 4 meals a day, gradually dropping to 3 at 12 weeks, then 2 at 6 months, then dropping to 1 meal a day at 9 months or a year or two (depending on size and make-up of the dog).

My dogs also get training treats throughout the day, and have access to meaty bones and healthy chews. Clean water is, of course, always available, in a clean container.

I have four dogs:

🐶 Lacy, English Shepherd, 14

🐶 Cricket the Whippet, 13

🐶 Coco Poodle, 10

🐶 Yannick, Border Collie, coming up to 2

And they all have a different feeding regime (they all have a big raw dinner):

🐾 Lacy - gets a small breakfast as she’s old

🐾 Cricket - started having panic attacks in the morning. Never after lunch. So I started feeding her breakfast - no more panic attacks

🐾 Coco - gets a tiny breakfast - he’s small and inclined to put on weight

🐾 Yannick - I stopped his breakfast at a year and he rapidly became thin, so he’s back on it, and doing nicely.

Plus treats, bones, etc as I feel the urge, and scatterfed kibble in the garden at lunchtime (this is a sure way to get Cricket to go out to relieve herself on wet days!)

So you can see it’s not a “one-size-fits-all”.

You need to observe your dog, view her with a stockman’s eye, check she is neither too fat nor too thin.  

And if you want to give me a treat for all the info I give you freely, here’s your chance!

How can I tell if my dog’s weight is right?

It can be hard - especially for the novice dog-owner - to assess your dog’s condition. You see him every day! These things can creep up on you.

Here’s an excellent chart to guide you:

If your dog has a dense coat which masks everything, you’re going to have to get in with your hands and feel your way round his body.

This is something you need to do regularly anyway - to hunt down parasites, injuries, strange lumps and bumps.

I find the shortcut ways of finding whether a dog is too fat are these:

1. Ribs: you can feel them easily but not cut yourself on them.

2. Pin bones (top of pelvis): easy to find but nicely covered.

3. Neck: the skin should be loose round the neck, no fat rolls or thickness.

If you make these observations - seeing and feeling your dog - regularly, you’ll be able to adjust his intake up or down as needed.

Always remembering the quality of the food you give!

Here are some useful feeding resources for you:

Is raw feeding safe for my dog? Let’s get to the Bare Bones

What food can I give my dog?

Beware the deadly mince pie! Christmas hazards for dogs

“My dog doesn’t like food”

Keep your dog and your Christmas food safe!

Dog feeding frenzy!

I'm not spending good money on a DOG!

How much should I feed my dog?

What can my dog chew?

What are the most effective dog treats?

And once you’ve got his outsides right, you can focus on what’s inside your dog’s head, with our free Workshop which might just change everything about how you interact with your dog!

Are you rewarding your dog or bribing him?

Do you know the exact difference between bribery and rewarding? 

Lots of people don’t!

And if you’re new to Brilliant Family Dog, it may be an area that puzzles you.

It can be so annoying when someone sees you reward your dog with a treat, then snootily says, “I don’t BRIBE my dogs. I expect them to do what I ask …”

So I thought that if you already understand this concept, I’d equip you with the science behind it all, so you can respond appropriately to this sort of comment.

If you can be bothered, that is! Some folk are better left to stew in their own ignorance as they absolutely won’t listen to you.  

They’ve made up their mind and don’t want to be confused by the facts.

Though I’m always sorry for their dogs …

And if you don’t understand it, then here you go! This will explain this mystery for you.

Bribery vs Reward

When you go to work, does your boss BRIBE you to work?

Or does he REWARD you for work done?

You make a choice whether to turn up to work or not.

• If you do, you get paid.

• If you don’t, you don’t!

Simple!

And it’s just as simple for our dogs.

We give them a choice: Will you do this thing?

• They do it, and get paid.

• They don’t do it, and they don’t!

Just the same!

There is no “commanding”, “ordering”, shouting or yelling. The only difference is that they won’t get the sack as you would if you didn’t turn up to work!

They have another chance to earn that reward next time you ask.

Let’s look at the science behind this!

Quick glossary:  

A CUE is what we say or do to elicit the action we want. So there are vocal cues, physical cues, environmental cues .. It’s not a “command” because - well we don’t “command” our friends.

A MARKER is what you do or say to tell your dog he’s got it right, like Yes, or Good boy.

A REWARD is whatever your dog finds rewarding and is appropriate at that moment, e.g. treat, opening the door to the garden, going for a walk, cuddles, running and chasing, etc. It has been proven beyond any doubt that a response that is rewarded will strengthen and become automatic.

The thing to remember is the sequence. It’s

CUE - MARKER - REWARD.

“Sit. Yes! Here’s your reward.”

Not

REWARD - CUE!

We don’t need to wave food around their noses.

We don’t need to hold food up in the air for them to sit, or on the floor for them to lie down.

(Of course, a little help is sometimes needed to get dogs to lie down when you’re first teaching them a down. Some find it quite challenging. And guidance with food can get them started so they say, “Oh, I SEE! That’s what they want!”)

The exciting thing about all this is that over time, the CUE becomes the REWARD!

Wossat? The CUE becomes the REWARD?

Magic! ✨ 💥

Want to reward me with a coffee, so I keep giving you helpful articles?

Let’s look at an example

What happens when you pick up your dog’s lead?

Excitement? Anticipation of a walk?

The lead is the CUE - it’s a physical cue - and the WALK is the reward.

Your dog knows, from constant repetition, that that’s how it goes.

And it’s not long before picking up the lead becomes the reward in itself! Hence all the lepping about when you touch the lead.

And of course this cue can travel backwards, till you just thinking it may be walk time is enough to get them going!

This is why your dog will SIT on CUE without need for a MARKER or a REWARD.

They’ve got it. They know this gig.

The pleasure centres of the brain light up when they hear the word SIT. It’s been conditioned to mean good things.

Though if your SIT starts to become hesitant or slow or sloppy, then it’s time for a return to training with

CUE - MARKER - REWARD

Can you see now, how you may respond to someone who suggests you’re using bribery? (That’s someone who’s honestly asking and is prepared to listen! You don’t want to waste your energy trying to convert the snooty, bossy, ones.)

And can you see now, if you didn’t get it before, what an incredibly powerful tool this is?

A-a-a-a-nd, why your dog may always do something when you do something? It’s because in some way he’s been rewarded for doing it, even it’s something you don’t want.

Example?

• Dog leaps about barking at the door.

• You leap about barking at him.

• Wheee! What fun! That’s a great reward!

Have a think about this as you go through your day with your dog!

They’re cleverer than we think.

And to learn more about how to reach your dog’s mind and get him on the same side as you, watch this free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN!

Time to get some action with your dog!

I came across this brilliant essay the other day.

It’s a great reminder for us who are always busybusybusy!

⏰ We have such great plans …

⏰ We’re going to do such marvels …

⏰ But we just have to get [insert distraction here] done first …

That wouldn’t be you, would it, by any chance? ;-) It’s definitely me! 😳

Christmas looms over us

I know we’re all busy around Christmas.

But look! The New Year is just round the corner!

What are you going to actually DO this year?

What will you look back on in December 2025 and say, “I DID IT!”

Read this essay below, and then tear up your To-Do List which contains all the things you think might be nice to do and that you know in your heart of hearts you never will do, and decide what’s important to you.

And do that.

[Thanks to Strangest Loop for that!]

In the meantime, enjoy doing your thing - and if it includes your dog, hooray!

He’s waiting for you …

See you next year.

And if you’ve enjoyed everything I’ve given you over this long year and fancy a little gift for me …

HINT: I drink a lot of coffee! ☕️ 😊