You *can* train your dog - with a bit of help!

I get a lot of mail. People have endless questions - and I’m happy to point them in the right direction. I take the time because it’s part of my mission of helping dogs.

But it’s sad when I get the third or fourth email from the same person. And they’re asking the same question as they did in their first missive!

I give them the same answers. Again.

Trouble is, their dog is now many months or even years older. Whatever their issue was is now entrenched, a habit.

If they’d only followed my suggestion the first time round, their issue would be long gone!

Why are they not helping their dog?

So I wonder .. why is this?

And the unfortunate conclusion is that they think that by asking me the question, they’ve solved the problem!

They don’t seem to realise that they actually have to DO something to put the advice into practice.

And before you throw up your hands and say, “How could anyone be so stupid?” just think of when we’ve asked someone’s advice .. did we always take it? Hmmm 🙄

Or did we perhaps think, “That’s too hard - I can’t do that!”

It could be for reasons of finance, commitment, time.

But here’s the thing: if you really wanted to fix your problem, you’d do what it takes to fix it!

And what it takes could be more than you’re currently able to manage on your own.

What it comes down to is lack of support.

You can fervently wish to change the thing that’s bothering you with your dog, but the advice given just seems too hard to do with the knowledge and experience you have right now.

That’s why you need to use someone else’s knowledge and experience!

We can’t know everything. We can’t be good at everything.

We need the humility to recognise when we’re beat, and that we need to ask for help.

I want help with my dog!

This is why students do so well in my programs. They recognise that they can’t do it alone, and they get that help.

The 1-1 coaching is available for as long as you like. You never get thrown out of the program - this is actually unusually generous. Many programs are for only a year, then you’re out. In mine - you just stick around and make friends!

My programs have continual input from me and my experienced trainer team. You never have to do this alone!

In From Growly Dog to Confident Dog, for instance, there are regular Coaching Calls with individual coaching.

Here’s what some of our Brilliant Family Dog students have to say:

“I am over the moon with the course and can see improvements every day. I am so happy I found this program. Thank you Beverley and Trainers.” DD

“Your communities are just fantastic! You have set the whole tone for support, friendly advice, constructive comments, a much appreciated touch of humour, encouragement, keeping up enthusiasm ... and more. It's a pleasure to be part of it, to dip in and out as life goes on and always to feel welcome.” JL

“I have started week two of the training with her and am already telling others how amazing the course is. If I'd only found Brilliant Family Dog before I got her!! I think your program is absolutely fabulous. Really enjoying the training.” LB

“Many thanks for being you! and for all you have taught me. My puppy is so different to all my expectations, because of you. Your training truly is brilliant!” CN

“I can’t start to explain how happy I am with the help and support I’ve had in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy, and its carefully-structured training.” SW

“Seems to me that you wear many different hats .... dog trainer, people trainer, educator, counsellor, support/outreach, author, etc - awesome!” LA

“Beverley, we will continue on our amazing journey, I am so pleased you are a part of it. Feel proud of what you do, it is invaluable and really does make this world a better place, especially for the canines who live alongside us.” SM

Want to get started with this guided learning?

Are dogs sentient beings?

Of course if you’re delving in www.brilliantfamilydog.com then you are fully on board with that idea!

Dogs think and feel. They feel pain, grief, affection. They feel fear, loss, joy and sadness.

We who live with the beasties know that.

But it’s horrifying to think of all those who either don’t know it, or simply deny it.

Here in the UK we can celebrate the efforts made to successfully get the new The Animal Welfare (Sentience) Act 2022 passed. It is now law.

Animals’ feelings must be considered when legislation concerning their treatment or environment is made.

The recognition of animals as sentient beings has been enshrined in EU law for a long time. And there are similar assurances of animal sentience in the USA.

Will other countries follow suit?

 

Insects too

Meanwhile, for those of you interested in all this, here’s an article from the Washington Post, The Consciousness of Bees.

It’s a fascinating read, showing that bees too experience fear and hope. They can think in order to solve problems, and have extensive learning memories, even recognising human faces.

Let us know what you think in the comments below!

Meanwhile, to find more about building a life with your dog that embraces mutual learning and excludes fear - watch our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN!

Do you “command” your dog, or do you “ask” him?

We’re all brung up proper - right?

And that means being polite! Asking nicely! Saying thank you!

And we have learnt down the years that that is the best way of getting people to do what we’d like.

“I wanna cup of tea!” or “Gimme a sandwich!” are less likely to get a result than “I’d love a cuppa - could you make me one, please?” and “How about a sandwich - could you do it?”

We know that! Of course we do!

What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander

So why is it that when we talk to our family and friends we speak one way, then for our friend the dog, we think we have to order them about?

Why go from polite requests to “commands”?

Sometimes I hear people proudly saying, “My dog knows the meaning of NO!”

And I can honestly say, “Mine don’t.”

Why? Because it’s a word I don’t use with them. And I didn’t use it with my children either.

What do I say instead?

“Is that a good idea?”

“Where should you be?”

“Where do toys/wellies/coats go?”

and when all else fails, “Who’d like a treat?” always gets a great response!

Far better to show them what you’d like, with good reasons for them to choose to comply, and go through your day without the tension that a “command” brings.

You see, it’s not just that we want the dog to sit, or whatever.

When you issue a command, it challenges the recipient of the order to comply.

It’s a conflict-driven word.

“You do what I say or else!”

And if they choose not to follow your instruction, what then? You’re in a battle!

It’s so much easier not to put yourself in that position of demanding blind obedience and then having to deal with resistance or dismissal.

Life is easier when you *ask* your friends and family to do things for you, and that includes your dog!

Can you give your dog a choice?

I had an unfortunate correspondence recently with a “dog trainer” who justifies the use of punishment in her “training” by implying that dogs that are given a choice will inevitably make the wrong choice.

How shortsighted!

As dog trainer I am an educator - a “dog coach” as someone recently described me!

And just as we don’t let our children run amok and expect them to make the right choices, we don’t do that with our animals either.

Guiding them to make a good choice is what it’s all about.

But it is essential for them to make that choice freely!

Getting someone to suggest a course of action themselves is a sure way to have them follow through. If they decide that’s what they want to do, then they’ll probably do it.

Dogs are no different!

They take pride in understanding what would be a good decision in the moment - even a moment that they would previously have found stressful. And they love to be reassured and praised for so doing.

Punishment?

Treating the dog as an automaton, which we switch on or off, means we always have to be in control

As I say so often,

I don’t want to have to control my dogs: I want my dogs to control themselves.

The so-called dog trainer claimed that reactive dogs could only be managed through control and limiting choice. “Do what I say,” Kind of thing.

I have specialised in reactive and aggressive dogs for many years. I have had a dramatic success rate with my non-confrontational, choice-based, methods 

The more we treat the person, child, or animal, in our care with respect for their individuality, the better the result.

Punishment serves only to make the punisher feel good.

Choice Training makes everyone feel good!

Want to know how you can incorporate choice and respect into managing your dog? Start with our free Workshop here!

Want a quick fix for your dog?

Well, I hate to disappoint you, but there are no quick fixes.

There are certainly quick ways to get what you want with your dog - if you know how to do them!

But the idea that you can hand off your dog to someone else to “fix” is pie in the sky.

Not only is it unrealistic, but it’s wrong too.

It takes two to tango

The thing is that you and your dog are an entity. You are a combined relationship. What you do affects her, and what she does affects you.

So trying to get someone else to solve your problems, without including this vital synthesis, is doomed to failure!

There are lots of ethical reasons why you don’t want to “send the dog away for training”. How will you know what’s going on? 

This was evidenced by a recent correspondent who found out too late that the promised transformation was achieved by using nasty methods. What’s more, the transformation only worked when the people who originally tortured the dog were holding the lead. As soon as the kind and gentle owner had her dog back, the change evaporated. Why? The dog had been “taught” through fear, and was now no longer afraid! 

After telling her “the problem was her, not the dog” the ‘trainers’ handed the damaged dog back. The owner felt guilty that it was all her fault, and the problem was still the same. Then she realised that aversive means must have been used, as her dog “did not want to return to the trainers on the second day and was difficult to get out of the car.” Fortunately she saw the light and said, “I’ve not been back since.”

She’ll be teaching her dog herself in future! 

You’re a team!

Fact is, if you learn together, you can develop as you go on. If you understand the principles involved in getting your dog to do what you’d like, then you can teach anything! 

There’s no magic wand.

There’s just understanding, love, and a desire to do the best for the animal in our care. 

Here’s someone who’s just joined the Brilliant Family Dog Academy with her new puppy. She originally came to classes with me with her previous dog - 10 years ago - she knows this stuff works! 

“Out of everything Teal learnt as a pup, it was what he learnt with you that stuck and really worked for him.” SS 

And part of the reason it stuck (apart from the genius teaching, of course 😊) was that she and her puppy learned together. And having learnt from me, she was able to carry on reinforcing what she liked for ten happy years. 

Do you want this kind of life with your dog?

Watch our free Workshop here

and get your first lessons in Choice Training - on me!

Can Choice Training help my Reactive - Growly - Dog?

One of the interesting things I’ve observed recently is how much simple Choice Training changes life for those of us blessed with a Growly Dog - a reactive, anxious, aggressive, dog.

Of course, I always knew that! But it’s great to hear it come back from students and folk on my recent Workshop. That was all about Choice Training - training your dog by offering him a choice instead of telling him what to do.

And the results have been remarkable for many people!

They were surprised - and delighted! - to find that their growly dog was much better able to cope after only a couple of days of trying this new approach. Well, it was new for many of them …

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and solve them all painlessly!

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How can a few simple games change my reactive dog?

What happens is that - through offering your dog a choice and not continually “commanding” him what to do - you build a completely new relationship with your pet!

No longer are you yelling and dancing, coaxing and cajoling, to try and get what you want. Instead you have a happy companionship where your dog is keen to do what you want because it’s what he wants too!

What I love about this way of training is that the dog doesn’t have to “be trained” at all. So how does the change happen? By you, the OWNER, changing!

Simple as that! Once you change your ways, your dog will just change with you.

And while you’re building up this amazing new bond between you, your anxious dog is getting less anxious, your reactive dog is able to cope much better with his fears, and your aggressive dog finds that - with you on his side - he doesn’t need to be aggressive any more.

I love my dog but …

Many people come to me saying “I love my dog to bits, but …” What’s happening is that they undoubtedly do love their dog, but they don’t actually understand why he’s doing what he does. They know there’s a disconnect there, but are unaware how to fix it.

Once they start using Choice Training, things change fast. They become a team with their dog. They can now love him with understanding and empathy.

When I’m working with Growly Dogs specifically, I use a lot of strategies and techniques to achieve the desired change in the dog’s behaviour. But these are all based in giving him a choice and letting him decide on a good course of action.

When you have very young children, you have to show them and teach them all the time. Once your child is older, you’re no longer saying “do this, do that,” but you are backing them up in the informed choices that they are now able to make. This is what I aspire to for my Growly Dog students. That they can work together with their challenging dog to get the results they want.

One of the best things about Choice Training is that you can start it with your new puppy when he comes through the door at 7-8 weeks old. People used to say (some unenlightened people still say …) that you can’t train a puppy till it’s 6 months old. Why? It’s simply that the type of training they’re thinking of - harsh, punishment-based training involving physical pain - would be too tough on a puppy.

Why use it on any dog??? It’s quite unnecessary, as you’ll see from any of the 130-odd articles on this site, not to mention the many books, the audiobooks, and my free - as well as paid - programs.

And if a training technique won't work for a toddler, then it likely won't work for a dog —Stanley Coren

Take a look at this post which goes into the whole subject in great detail. There are some academic resources listed there for those of you who want to dig deep!

The fact remains, if you can treat your dog with the same courtesy, kindness and respect that you give to any toddler, then you’ll get the results you want!

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and solve them all painlessly!

THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
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