Would you love to work with dogs?

Is this a dream of yours? That you’d love to work with dogs in some way?  

All day, every day, just working with dogs?

Many people harbour this secret dream in their heart. And the sad thing is that for most it remains a secret dream.

Why not get it out in the open and get going with it?!

Dogs, all day?

The first thing to know is that whatever area of working with dogs you choose, other things will always impinge. You won’t be “working with dogs, all day, every day”. There will always be reports to write, clients to interview, targets to meet …

At least when it’s your own business, you get to set those targets and decide where you want to focus!

And this is the stumbling-block for many.

“I’m no good at business …”

The thought of actually running a business is too much for them. They’re worried about all the red tape, the financial implications, the responsibility.

Seduced by the regular income of their current job, they’d prefer to stay warm and cosy rather than get out there and help our friend, the dog.

You see, if you’re following Brilliant Family Dog, you are exactly the sort of person who should be out there spreading the word about force-free training! Showing people how it’s done! And showing them how they can transform their lives by following our kind methods.

YOU are valuable! We need your expertise and personality in the mix.

There are far too many people from the Dark Side - browbeating people into thinking they have to do nasty things to their dog to make any progress.

WE know that’s not true.

And once we’ve discovered this harmonious way to live with our companion dogs, we have a duty to show a better way.

🐾 A way which excludes bullying, intimidation, and pain.

🐾 A way which fosters personal choice, freedom, and joy.

I’m working on a new project to get people started in the business they’ve dreamt about for years, and never quite had the opportunity or the belief to start.

It will cover everything you need to do to get your business started fast - so much faster than you can imagine! Business skills, personal skills, people skills, dog skills . . . it’ll all be there for you, along with all the templates you need to get going.

Why can I do this? Because I’ve done it. I had the same concerns you have. And I worked it out.

Want some help with building this unbreakable relationship? Watch our free Workshop on Getting your Dog to Listen, and you may be surprised how much this short video will teach you!

Do you really want to change your Growly Dog?

Do you really want to change your Growly Dog?

You may think you do. And you may be on a hunt to find out how to improve life with your dog - whom you love dearly, but who is impossible on walks!

And this is a thoroughly laudable intent.

But you want to take care just what you change!

There are plenty of “dog trainers” who want to beat you and your dog into submission. They have no interest in anyone’s feelings. They just want to get results fast, regardless of the emotional cost.

They want you to hand your dog over to them for weeks. And you’ll have no idea what they’re actually doing.

Anyone who tells you they can fix your dog’s reactivity issues (they’ll call it ‘aggression’) in a matter of days or weeks is probably relying on punitive methods which may well work in the short term - by suppressing your dog’s natural responses and taking away his freedom of choice.

But they can have disastrous repercussions down the line!

You’ll find these residential training places online. You’ll find them in the local paper. It’s a cop-out which is very popular at the moment.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!

Do you want to give your dog a virtual lobotomy by using electric shock treatment to shut him down?

I’m sure you don’t. But unless you look very closely at what they’re doing with your dog, you won’t know till it’s too late.

This is one of the hazards of residential training: you have no idea what is happening to your dog!

The trainers may or may not make a difference to your anxious dog while he’s in their control.

But what happens when he gets home?

Thing is … it’s YOU who has to learn! Once you’ve learned what’s going on with your dog and why he’s doing what he does, then you can work with him to change this!

And change it while keeping all the wonderful aspects of his personality that make you care for him.

Scrap the idea of sending your dog to someone else to fix

So you’ve scrapped that idea! Now what?

🐕‍🦺 You’ve already hunted all over the internet

🐕‍🦺 You’ve read all the books

🐕‍🦺 You’ve watched the whole of Youtube

🐕‍🦺 You’ve learned ALL the things.

But have you done any of the things?

There is nothing wrong with you!

This is 100% normal. To think you just need to get the knowledge and it’ll all work for you.

You can gather information till the cows come home, but unless you have the support you need, you’re not going to get it working for you!

There’s a high likelihood that your brain is now scrambled. You are confused by so many conflicting methods and remedies - this person says this, that person says that, your next-door neighbour says the other …

So you need to find someone you can trust. Someone who understands what you’re going through, someone with experience, someone with your dog’s best interests at heart.

Try me!

You can check out what I do, what I stand for, and the results I’ve got. There are almost 250 articles here on www.brilliantfamilydog.com for you to read! There are my inexpensive books you can read or listen to, there are free email courses and guides - and there are free Masterclasses for you to “meet” me and see whether what I am saying makes sense to you, and whether I’m someone you can trust.

One person who listened to a Masterclass of mine (focussing on Growly - shy, anxious, reactive, ‘aggressive’ - Dogs) said to herself, “I think this woman can help me,” joined us and has never looked back! Her life and her dog’s life have been totally transformed.

If you’re still reading this post, and have read anything else of mine, there’s a high likelihood that what you are looking for for your dog can be found here.

Start with this Masterclass - The 3 Biggest Mistakes Growly Dog owners make - and what to do instead!

and tell us in the chat there what you think! You can ask any questions you like and I’ll be glad to answer them.

Should your dog play with other dogs?

It seems to be the thing, that if you have a dog, you think all dogs are the same as your dog. Natural enough . . .

But sadly, not true!

There are all sorts of dogs - bold dogs, funny dogs, friendly dogs, fearful dogs, anxious dogs, rowdy dogs, sniffy dogs, old dogs . . . and every one of them deserves to have their feelings noticed and respected.

If you have a Growly Dog - a fearful, shy, reactive, “aggressive”, dog - then you’ll already know that they need a LOT of space!

The fewer dogs or people they see on a regular basis, the happier they are.

But many folk don’t appreciate these dogs’ need for distance. Their cry of “I want to be alone,” (to quote Greta Garbo) is often not heeded.

So if you are the joyful owner of an easygoing, happy-go-lucky, into-everything dog,

1. Hooray! Enjoy your dog and your freedom.

2. Please spare a thought for others whose dogs are not so ebullient or resilient.

3. Ask the other owner before unleashing your fun-loving dog to “play” with their dog.

4. If play is welcomed, then be sure to interrupt frequently to give both parties a chance to regroup and recover.

5. Ensure play is “equal”: I chase you, you chase me, we run together.

Different dogs like different types of play

There are dogs who love to race and chase - think Collies and herding dogs. There are dogs who love to run at speed - think sighthounds. There are dogs who want nothing more than to roly-poly about on the ground - think Spaniels. And there are dogs who love to crash and bash - think Labradors and Staffies.

Wherever possible, match your dog with another dog with a similar play-style.

A Collie or a Whippet would be mortally offended if a Lab crashed into them!

A speeding sighthound can cause frustration in a would-be chaser, who will take shortcuts and attempt to bring the running dog down by grabbing it, and many sighthounds have very thin skin . . .

And that Labrador would not be amused by being invited to chase round in circles when he just wants to bodyslam.

You can improve your walks immensely - for yourself and your dog as well as all the other dogs you come across on your outings - by observing these guidelines.

And comment below to tell us what sort of play your dog favours!

Watch our free Masterclass to start the change you want

10 ways to make travel ok for your reactive dog

Now Lockdowns are lifting - a little or a lot - people are planning holidays again! And you may want to take your dog away with you. For most dogs, this is a fun adventure! 

But for a shy, anxious, apparently aggressive, reactive - Growly - dog, this may be no fun at all, unless you plan carefully in advance.

It’s quite possible to take trips with your reactive dog - and I do regularly with mine - but you have to take extra steps to ensure that everyone enjoys the holiday.

So here are some thoughts for you to consider:

1. If possible, leave her at home. Failing that, a dogminder who your dog trusts may be the answer. If you think she really will find the whole thing too stressful and ruin everyone’s enjoyment, not taking her will be a good choice.

   But if you do decide to take her, here you go:

2. Choose a self-catering type of accommodation - like b&b, camping, campervan, caravan - rather than hotel. Check well ahead for dog-friendly beaches etc - especially in high season.

3. Take her crate, bed, usual food and treats, bowls, water bottle, toys, brush, towel, poo-bags, etc with you. A playpen can be a huge addition, for indoor or outdoor use. Don’t forget her lead, harness, muzzle if worn, and your long line! If your dog’s not used to being in a crate, practice short absences in the months before your trip.

4. Plan coffee stop-offs on the journey where your dog can enjoy a short, quiet, walk. Some motorway service stations have excellent walks from the site.

5. If she doesn’t normally like crowded spaces, strangers and strange dogs, remember she still won’t like them on holiday! If you’re all to enjoy this break, her views have to be as high on the agenda as your own.

6. Ensure your dog’s id disc has your mobile number on it. If not already done, microchip your precious dog!

7. Check for new hazards at your chosen destination - snakes, deer to chase, steep cliffs, poisonous plants …

8. Avoid a holiday with vast numbers of extended family, and NO new dogs on the same trip!

9. Appoint ONE person who is always responsible for your dog, her comfort, her meals, her whereabouts. This will avoid the dread of, “But I thought you were watching her!” 

10. Ensure you have secure travelling arrangements for your vehicle, that your dog already enjoys car rides, and your dog won’t be left in a vehicle unattended.

Put these points into practice, and you’ll have a great holiday! And if you’ve already cracked the code, do comment below on what your reactive-dog holidays are like. We love ours!

And for extra help before you go, be sure to watch our free Masterclass for your Growly Dog!

MY DOG DOESN’T LIKE OTHER DOGS: 5 STEPS TO STOP THE BARKING AND LUNGING

First published on positively.com and reprinted here with permission

We’ve all seen it.

Person and dog are walking along the street.

Dog spots another person or dog and goes ballistic. Barking, lunging, ducking and diving, in a flurry of teeth and claws, looking for all the world as if she wants to eat everyone in her path.

Then we see the poor owner trying to deal with this explosion. Usually he tries to restrain the dog physically, shout at her, maybe yank her around on her leash, before beating a disorderly retreat to lick his social wounds and repair his dignity.

The social pressure to appear to be in control of your group - whether they be people or animals - is very strong.

And if we let it, it will make us act in a way we don’t like, indeed a way which is not like us at all!

This can be doubly hard for men.

Why? Because they are expected to be totally in control. And to ensure by whatever means that that control is not challenged or defied. Inability to stop their dog kicking up trouble is perceived - erroneously - as a sign of weakness. So rationality goes out the window, and they act out of character.

The man who was dandling his baby on his knee an hour before is now yelling and yanking his dog about in a way he would hate to see on video. The question is: Why are people so quick to punish their dog?

But my dog is being defiant!

Let’s backtrack a little and find out first of all why your dog is doing this.

The answer, in the vast majority of cases, is fear.

Not aggression, viciousness, nastiness, defiance, stubbornness - just plain, tail-wetting fear.

It may be that the dog was not sufficiently socialised in the critical early weeks; it may be that she had a bad experience which has coloured her perception of strange people or dogs; or it may be that it’s just the way she is.

She’s a delight in the house, brilliant with the kids, but when she’s out she turns into a screaming monster. She sees something that frightens her. She’s on the leash so is unable to flee, so she does her best to look ferocious to repel the invader. She’s shouting “Get away from me! Look - I have teeth! Don’t make me use them!”

None of this is a challenge to your authority! So trying to be the boss is not going to help one bit.

The opposite is true. If your dog sees something that frightens her and then you weigh in and frighten her more, this is going to make matters a lot worse!

Shouting at your young daughter when she shows a fear of spiders is not going to help her overcome her genuine fear of them.

So it is with your dog.

So how can I have a calm walk without all hell breaking loose?

The harsh treatment of dogs advocated by some popular TV programs does not sit well with the way you choose to relate to your family. But there’s no need to treat your dog any differently!

Once you understand that your dog is afraid, this changes your response entirely. She is no longer to be castigated, rather to be helped to cope with a situation which is terrifying her.

This is where your strength and courage come in.

Without fear of what other people may think of you, you’ll be freed to make the right choices to change the dynamic - not just right now, but in the future too.

1. The first thing is to give your dog distance. If the other dog is too close at 30 feet, then get 60 feet away. Think of your little girl and the spider.

2. Let your dog know that she never has to meet a strange person or dog ever again - you will always move her away just as she sees them. Yes - this will turn your previously ordered and linear walk into a bit of a chaotic zigzag, but it will be a calm and peaceful zigzag! This will build her confidence to the extent that this step alone may eventually enable her to pass other dogs without comment.

3. Relax your hands. It’s highly likely (and totally understandable) that whenever you see anything approaching, you tighten the leash in a vice-like grip, tense up, breathe faster, and generally give the appearance of being just as afraid as your dog is! So do the opposite: breathe slowly, lower and relax your hands, say to your dog in a calm voice, “Let’s go!”, and head off in the other direction.

4. Ditch any nasty collars and gadgets promoted for keeping your dog under control. These can only serve to make her more frightened. Imagine putting a straitjacket on your frightened little girl and forcing her to confront the spider! It will magnify the fear immensely. Use a soft collar or harness and a loose lead. No chains. No spikes. No batteries.

5. Reward your dog when she does it right! As soon as you turn away from the impending threat - whether it be 10 feet or 100 feet away - congratulate her warmly on her brilliant self-control! Her lack of stress and distress will be a huge reward in themselves - feeling panicky and afraid is no fun. Always carrying some tasty treats in your pocket will make it crystal clear to her that she has done something that has really pleased you. Dish them out freely when she’s achieved a calm response. Scatter them on the ground for her to hoover up.

Softly, softly, catchee monkey

You are going to make huge strides forward, but you are also going to have setbacks.

See it as a slow progression. Fear is a very strong emotion and doesn’t disappear overnight. You’ll be able to look back in a while and say to yourself, “We couldn’t have walked past that dog a few months ago!”

As you switch from fearing other people’s opinions to focusing on your dog’s needs, you will know that you can make the right choices for your dog’s well being.

 You already do that with your family. Just forget about macho men on the TV beating up their dogs and treat your dog as you treat your children - with empathy and kindness.

It’s not about control, or showing who’s boss. It’s about ensuring the safety and happiness of everyone in your care.

Now you can have the calm walks that you crave!

For a four-part email course that will walk you through this, step by step, head over to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly-dogs

 

You and your dog are good enough

How often have you seen something you want then stopped yourself and said “That's not for me.”?

 (And what does this have to do with our dogs?)

This feeling of insufficiency can show up in many ways .... basically as “I’m not good enough”. And how daft is that? Are you not a capable human being who has got where you are in your life by doing things? You can do lots of things I couldn’t begin to do.

So where did this come from? And more to the point how do we show it the door?

Getting rid of that unhelpful voice in your head is essential to get where you want to be in life.

And for our dogs …

Thing is, if you think that about anything, you may think it about other things too - notably about how you can improve your life with your dog.

Now not everyone wants to become a dog trainer! Not everyone wants to immerse themselves in deep study just to get along with their pooch!

But so many of the niggles and disagreements you have with your dog right now can disappear and float away in a moment - if you have the right approach.

You see, it’s often - in fact, it’s usually - NOT the dog.

“Yes it is!” you say, “My dog does xyz, he’s stubborn / difficult / deaf / self-willed …”

But did you know that if YOU change something that YOU’RE doing, your dog can change - magically, instantly?

Sources of conflict can evaporate. Life is enhanced. You get the Brilliant Family Dog you wanted when you first got your dog.

It’s not the thing itself that makes us feel one way or another. It’s how we respond to that thing.

If you call your child and he says, “in a minute …” you can wait.

OR you can erupt and say “GET HERE THIS MINUTE WHEN I CALL YOU I EXPECT YOU TO COME” etc. Now you’re probably feeling fractious, annoyed, taken advantage of . . . and you generated all that by yourself!

If you’d just given the child a moment, he’d probably have got there soon enough and everyone would be calm and happy.

It’s just the same with your dog!

Dog vs. Owner

Many people turn their days into a sparring match with their dog. Quite unnecessarily!

Everything becomes a major issue. Your dog’s actions are interpreted as “defiance”, “trying to rule the roost”, “out of control”.

Have a look at what this open-minded reader said to me, about the lessons she learned in my free Workshop.

“I’ve watched the Workshop and immediately started doing the three things you suggested. I left the choice to her when I wanted her to do something - honest to God I can’t believe it is that simple - she’s much calmer and responsive, and as a result we are calmer - or is it the other way around?

She got lots of praise and a reward - she was so chuffed with herself too!

I will continue to ensure we practice this - even my husband could see the difference and the sense in it!

Thank you so much for sharing this information - definitely my a-ha moment!”  TW

I was particularly touched because

a. She listened with an open mind, tried out the lessons - and found they worked!

b. She went to the trouble to tell me and thank me. Folk are usually quick to chide but slow to bless.

Owner vs Dog

Sadly, there are those who are not so open or ready to learn. They may well be thinking in some way that they’re “not good enough” though they may not admit this to themselves. It’s a simple fear of failure that prevents them having a go and seriously giving the lessons a try.

And it’s a shame that both they and their dog miss out by playing small.

There are plenty of people like my correspondent above who throw themselves wholeheartedly into this new way of existing with their dog - with the splendid result that they are all happier and the whole family operates more smoothly.

Want to know what TW found worked so well?

Watch our free Workshop here and really give the lessons a go. Then you can be writing a triumphant email to me! I look forward to seeing that.