Is it your fault you have a reactive dog?

Believe it or not, many folk think it’s their fault somehow that their dog is as he is. They blame themselves.

I suppose this is one step better than blaming the breeder, the shelter, the dog in the park, the thunderstorm, your family, your neighbour, or of course, your dog!

But how helpful is it to apportion blame at all - to anyone or anything? How will that move you from where you are to where you want to be?

Because blame is looking backwards.

Blame is trying to find a reason for something you don’t like so that you don’t need to feel responsible.

Blame is a way of dodging out of doing the work you need to do to help your anxious, shy, hyper, aggressive - Growly - dog.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been told - as a fact - that someone’s dog became reactive after a particular incident. So naturally, then that incident is the cause, and there’s nothing they can do.

Is your dog throwing up more challenges than you anticipated? Watch our free Masterclass and find how to change things fast!

“A big dog went for him when he was a puppy.”

“A child on a scooter whooshed too close and frightened him.”

“A car crashed into our car.”

All these things are unfortunate - but they’re not terminal! And they may have just been the tipping point, rather than the cause. The time you started to notice your dog’s discomfort rather than the moment it actually started.

Jenny and Jasper

Jenny was utterly convinced that a single moment in time turned her happy-go-lucky one-year-old Jasper into a quivering wreck who was now afraid of everything. “This big black dog ran in and jumped on him and flattened him. He screamed. I screamed. The owner did nothing. I was too afraid to touch the other dog. No, he wasn’t injured. But I feel so guilty about it. I want my friendly puppy back.”

Now, this sort of thing happens to loads of dogs who shake it off and carry on unscathed. The difference here is that Jenny suddenly started paying attention to Jasper’s body language around other dogs, particularly large and/or black ones. 

She picked up on signals she may have missed before. Signals that the big black dog read clearly!

She became overprotective - an understandable response - possibly making Jasper think that the world was a dangerous place and he’d better get in with a bark and a growl before it got him.

Without knowing how to manage these situations, she began - albeit unwittingly - to create them!

I do understand where Jenny was coming from. One thing she was overlooking was that at one year old, Jasper was leaving adolescence and puppyhood behind, and growing in to a more mature lifestage. It’s natural for dogs to stick to their own people. Playing with every dog they see is a juvenile behaviour, and Jasper was . . . growing up!

Also, it’s likely in our culture that Jasper had been neutered somewhere in the previous six months. This can be a huge confidence-sapper, which is one of many reasons why it’s best to leave it till later (if at all).

So the things that came together to spark an apparently new reactivity in Jasper, were actually part of a developmental path that he was already on.

It’s not my fault so it can’t be helped

Blaming the event was holding Jenny back from learning how to help Jasper enjoy life more. She felt that it was a fait accompli - that there was now nothing to be done.

How wrong can a person be?!!

There’s masses you can do.

And those in the know are actually doing these things from as soon as they get their puppy or dog in the first place. Teaching them the world is a good place, that they are safe, that together they can cope.

There are strategies and techniques Jenny was able to start on to make walks fun again. Strategies and techniques we’d love to teach you, so you can make your walks fun too.

Start by looking at all the things you LOVE about your life and your dog. Dismiss any thoughts of past events with a “Thank you, but that’s not important right now.”

Think of where you can move forward with a plan.

No plan? Sign up to our free e-course for understanding your Growly Dog and how to start the change.

Make the first step in your plan . . .

Growly Dog? Get our free email course!

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Finding a trainer for your Growly Dog

Are you looking for a trainer for your growly, reactive, lunging dog? 

Simple!

Just look in the phone book …

NOOOOOOO!!!

What may appear simple to the man or woman in the street is actually quite complicated and fraught with danger!

In any professional group there will be differences of opinion. We all know that. But in the dog training world the differences are critical! They’re between treating your dog kindly at all times, and being positively nasty to her!

So choosing the wrong trainer for your precious dog can have enormous fallout.

Take Dottie in the story I told last week. She was trying to do her best for her little Toby, but came seriously unstuck and ended up doing bad things she would never have dreamt up on her own.

Sadly, this is a common tale. I hear daily from people who were near despair. Only yesterday I worked with a couple who when I first met them were close to  rehoming their dog as she appeared to have so many problems. No chance of her leaving now - they adore their transformed doglet!

Ute had tried three trainers, while her dog gradually deteriorated. She told me, “the first trainer made things worse by using what I consider force against my will.”

Jennifer sang a similar song when she sought help for her two puppies: “I had a trainer/behaviourist to them at 8 months who threw their leads at them because they barked at her then told me they were nervous and could bite if I didn't do something”

This extraordinary behaviour is clearly a popular technique amongst the old school trainers (they call themselves “balanced” for some weird and unbalanced reason) as Valerie had the exact same experience before she found me: “I am so glad to have found a trainer who can understand my feeling that there is no point in throwing things at an already nervous dog.”

And Stella hit the nail on the head when she recalled that her beautiful chocolate poodle was labelled by a vet and a trainer as “’difficult' or 'feisty’. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy.” Of course it did! If you keep telling a child he’s naughty, that’s exactly what he’ll be.

Even a young puppy can get the short end of the stick: “we had a 1:1 with a dog trainer which left us feeling much worse” said Satya of her 13-week-old pup. Really! Just a baby.

Money?

Buckets of it go into the pockets of these people who claim to have the dog’s interests at heart. See what Marita said:

“Three animal trainers and hundreds of dollars later I found Beverley. I wish I had found her sooner.”

So it’s not about the money! It’s about the success you have - and most importantly for me - the method you use to get there

As Burt Bacharach has it in “Alfie”,

Are we meant to take more than we give

Or are we meant to be kind?

I believe in love, Alfie …

When you walk let your heart lead the way

 Are you letting your heart lead the way? Or are you letting someone bamboozle you out of your beliefs and integrity, and letting them do awful things to your dog?

A Secret Weapon

Thing is … I have a secret weapon.

Most of my students have discovered this - and that’s why they’ve chosen to follow me and study with me!

Elle got it when she told me, “you wear many different hats....dog trainer, people trainer, educator, counsellor, support/outreach, author, etc. etc. etc…’

And Chris put it even more succinctly!

Brilliant Family Dog? More like Brilliant People Trainer

My secret is out!

You need to find a dog trainer who has compassion for both you and your dog. Operating on the dog as if it’s a faulty machine, and ignoring the relationship between dog and owner is doomed to total failure.

So if you’re looking for help for your growly, reactive, lunging dog - or simply for your wild puppy or your dog who seems to be challenging - keep these thoughts in mind when you hunt.

And you may be surprised to learn that you don’t need a local trainer! If the expertise is with someone the other side of the world, that’s where you should be looking. 

 I have finally found sound advice and a trainer - even if you are half a world away.  Joanne

So keep it simple by just staying with me at Brilliant Family Dog! Check out the possibilities now …

Don’t be bamboozled by a dog trainer!

I aim to build confidence in dogs.

But first I have to build confidence in their owners!

So I have a cautionary tale for you this week, which I hope will massively boost your ability to be your dog’s advocate and say NO! when people tell you to do something which doesn’t sit well with you.

Dottie told me an awful story. Her young dog Toby was being a bit of a handful - reactive to other dogs - so she went to a local dog trainer for help. This trainer got Dottie to join a gang of strange dogs in a “pack walk”. She equipped her with a slip lead (that tightens without limits) showed her how to yank the lead if Toby pulled, told her other ways to physically “correct” him, and despite her protests and many misgivings, they set out on the walk.

Well, after three hours (3 hours!!) walking, the results were plain to see. Dottie showed me photos which appalled me. Toby’s neck was swollen so much that it looked as though he had a goitre. His feet were sore and bleeding, and he limped pitifully, hopping from one painful paw to another.

Not only was he physically injured, but unsurprisingly, his reactivity had got far, far worse.

What I couldn’t see in the photos, but could clearly hear, was Dottie’s anguish and guilt at what had happened.

When she confronted the “trainer” with these injuries, she was told “Don’t worry, this is normal and will go down after a few days.”

Can you imagine collecting your child from playschool, finding swellings, cuts, and bleeding, and being told “Don’t worry, this is normal and will go down after a few days.”? The mind boggles.

And can you imagine how Dottie felt? Can you imagine how you would feel? She even considered having her little dog put down as she was clearly such a failure that he was now not just reactive but aggressive with it.

We can all learn from this horrible event.

How can I know what trainer is good?

I can understand just how it happened. This trainer advertises her services locally, Dottie applied to her, and she came across as knowing what she was talking about. She clearly fast-talked Dottie into agreeing with the plan she put forward.

She sounded so authoritative! So plausible!

So Dottie quelled her inner voice which was saying, “Is this really right?” and went along with the plans. She went against her better judgment because she was bamboozled by the apparent knowledge and experience of this person - as well as the trainer’s assurances that she loves dogs.

So what could Dottie have done to avoid this catastrophe?

1. Ask questions! Your questions may include “What are your qualifications?” “What do you do if a dog tries to bite you?” “Can I come and watch a session first without my dog?” “What do you think of electric shock collars?”

2. Check up on them! In the UK, force-free trainers should have at least one of the following sets of alphabet after their name: APDT, ABTC, APBC, IMDT, CBATI. In other countries, look out for CBATI, KPA-CTP, Victoria Stilwell, PPG for referrals.

3. Listen to that inner voice! If you’re being told to do something you don’t like the sound of, ask yourself “Would I do this to a baby? Would I do this to my toddler?” If you wouldn’t do it to a child, then there’s no way you should do it to a dog.

4. Be your dog’s advocate! You are the only one he’s got - he puts his trust in you to keep him safe. Be sure to honour that trust.

Here at Brilliant Family Dog you will never be asked to go against your inner voice, your integrity. So you’re quite safe here!

I’m not for one moment blaming Dottie. She has blamed herself quite enough already, and blame and shame are a fruitless endeavour. We can only resolve the past by moving resolutely forward. She has moved on (she found me!) and has got such amazing results with young Toby now that she has said she won’t be looking for another trainer or training method. She is utterly convinced that force-free - and specifically Choice Training - is the way to go.

How can we help other novice dog-owners?

So, even if you don’t need a dog-trainer right now, how about looking at the dog trainers that are in your area? Have a look at their websites and read between the lines! Red-flag phrases would include “balanced training,” “alpha rolls,” “leadership,” “pack,” “pack leader,” “pinch collar,” “e-collar,” (they call electric shock collars “e-collars” to make them sound innocuous, like an e-book) “positive punishment,” “rattle bottles,” “spray collar.” All these words translate to “KEEP AWAY!”

You may be surprised to find that it’s hard to find a trainer who doesn’t espouse these outdated and scientifically discredited attitudes. But being forearmed you may be able to steer a hapless dog-owner away from them.

And believe it or not, you don’t actually need to go to classes to effect enormous change with your dog. Dottie started the change by reading some of my books, then attending one of my free workshops. Used well, the internet is a wonderful place!

So have you checked out one of my amazing courses yet? Video, the spoken and the written word, combine to give you everything you need to know. And you get support and extra coaching too. That’s why students get such great results, and say things like this, from Lisa:

“We had tried lots of different training in the past with very little result, so for my dog to have come along so far in just a few months is really wonderful. This training definitely works! I am now a convert for life and will no longer search for other training. Beverley and her team are definitely the best!”

Click on Courses at the top of this page and have a look. And if you want to be the first to know when the Growly Dog course is next in open enrolment, leave your name here and we’ll be in touch.

Already got a Growly Dog? A reactive, shy, aggressive dog? Watch our free Masterclass and learn new strategies to change your lives for the better!

The magical connection of your hand-touch

This article first appeared on 2houndsdesign.com and is reprinted here with permission.

Holding hands is our way of showing affection to our loved ones. Our hands should always build trust - you never want to see a child or a pet flinching away from a hand!

I’d like to show you a quick and easy way to instil confidence in your dog - while getting her to fit in with what you want.

It’s the Hand-touch.

And you can use it to ask your dog’s permission to handle her, to put on her harness, to fall in beside you when you’re walking, to teach her tricks, to bring you the thing she’s carrying - once you have the hand-touch in your toolbox you’ll find ever more uses for it!

How to teach it? Oh, so easy!

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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◆   Have a supply of small but tasty treats. Cheese or hot dog are always popular, just pea-sized pieces.

◆   Place a treat in the palm of your hand and hold it out to your dog at her nose-level to eat.

◆   Repeat a few times till she’s keen to engage in this hand-feeding game.

◆   Now, with the same rhythm you’ve just built up over several repetitions, offer her your hand without a treat in.

◆   She’ll smoosh her nose into your hand, look surprised to find nothing, then you instantly give her the treat with your other hand.

◆   No need to say anything much, except the odd “good girl,” or “Yay!”

◆   Repeat several times, till she’s pressing her nose to the palm of your hand, and even holding it there for a moment, before you give the treat.

◆   Keep this light, quick, and FUN!

◆   Once you’ve done a few sessions to consolidate the learning, you can move your hand slowly as your dog touches her nose to it - now you can have her follow your hand!

So how could you use this new hand-touch?

✓   Putting on her harness: Loop your harness over your wrist, offer your hand, and while she’s touching your palm you can drop the harness over her head.

✓   Re-direct her attention: Have her follow your hand to get through a narrow gap without tripping you over, or to guide her away from a clamouring child or a glaring dog when you’re out.

✓   Make contact for reassurance: like sports teamies do, whether they’ve won or lost the point.  

✓   Body-care: Ask for a hand-touch to give you permission to start grooming your dog, or checking her feet. If she doesn’t want it done, she’ll turn away from your hand. Time for you to find out how to make grooming more of a two-way thing, and comfortable!

✓   Follow your hand: Teach the Stand and the Down - just by getting your dog to follow your hand with her nose.

Now, what can you come up with? Post your ideas in the comments below!

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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Why You Should Always Give Your Dog a Choice

This article was first published on 4knines.com and is reprinted here with permission

The young boy in class adored his puppy!

It was a delight to see how proud he was of her, and how attentive he was to everything being taught.

Carl was 10 years old, and animals were clearly his passion. He was more diligent in his practice than many of the adults. And I was particularly impressed with how quickly he grasped this concept:

Don’t beg your dog!

Many of the owners were trying to coax their puppy to pay attention to them. They waved treats in front of their inattentive noses. They bent over and called their name repeatedly. Some even got down on the floor with their puppy in an attempt to get a response.

But young Carl had it licked!

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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He listened and followed the guidelines to the letter. He demonstrated to his little pup that he had food, then stood still and waited. He waited for the puppy to decide what to do, and as soon as she made a good choice, she got the treat!

He skipped all the begging, nagging, and cajoling that the others were doing.

Mine is a force-free class – in many other classes people would go further and yank the lead, shout, or poke the dog. Not in my school! Put yourself in the dog’s place – how would you respond to this treatment?

Give your dog a choice

There’s choice – and there’s choice! In Choice Training you give your dog a choice between doing something you like and earning a reward, and … nothing. So you weigh the chances in your favour of your dog choosing to do what you want. There is no punishment, no shouting or prodding – just patience.

“I have a treat – what would you like to do to earn it?”

So your dog will focus on you, maybe stand still, maybe sit, and keep trying things till she hits the spot. You keep the treat right out of the way until you get what you’re waiting for – no waving it about in the dog’s face!

What happens if you “lure” your dog with food is that you give your dog a free choice whether to pay attention or not.

“Come to me and get this treat I’m holding out,”

OR, more often:

“Carry on doing what you’re doing and get the treat afterwards (because I’m desperate to give it to you!)”

You’re saying to your dog: “You choose.”

But you’re not limiting the choices to what you want. It doesn’t take a pup long to figure out that he can have his cake and eat it – he can sniff the floor or stare at the other puppies then come and get the treat. He can give a slow and dawdly sit and still get the proffered reward.

He’ll weigh up his choices – roll in this badger poo now or go and get a piece of kibble . . . hmm, which will I do? Later this will translate to – choosing to run off and chase things rather than choose to get a treat, pulling on leash rather than choose to have a treat. Then we hear “My dog is not interested in food.”

Bribing your dog with food is going to hand the reins to him. Rewarding him for making the choice you want keeps the power with you!

Young Carl inspired the others with his success.

Is your dog ignoring you?

Many of the puppies in that class were choosing to ignore their owners. All the time they were coaxing and calling, the pup knew they were there. There was no need to pay attention.

What Carl had grasped was that staying silent meant his puppy checked in with him very quickly, and earnt her reward. The onus was on the pup to pay attention. And she made the choice we wanted her to make.

Carl’s puppy quickly chose to face him all the time and watch out for clues for how she could earn the next reward. (The other owners got it later – especially when they saw the boy’s success.)

It occurred to me that Carl had also learnt a valuable life lesson. Begging people to do things for you is usually a fruitless endeavour. Inspiring them to act is a much better course.

Hopefully in a few years’ time, Carl will not be begging a girl to go out with him – rather the girls will be chasing him!

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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Results from the Growly Workshop

Well . . . even I am amazed by the results the Workshoppers got from my free 5 Day Live Workshop for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog,

And now you can join my free Masterclass for Growly Dogs and get similar results!

People with anxious dogs, shy dogs, reactive dogs. People who could not understand why their dog - who is so lovely at home - looks like a sabre-toothed tiger when out.

• We had puppies stopping biting.

• We had dogs walking nicely on the lead.

• We had dogs passing other dogs without a meltdown.

• We had dogs coming when called!

All within five action-packed days!

Carol bubbled with pleasure: “I am so happy, and so are my 4-leggeds! Thank you for this Beverley Courtney!”

Sally was amazed at how her very shy and timid Misty got on.

“We can not believe what this has done for our anxious girl. A safe place. A focus. A place where she knows she's doing the right thing. First time at the pub tonight. We had people gasping in amazement as she dived on the mat after a little explore then stayed there. Best thing ever.”

Andrea was bowled over with such quick results which her whole family could enjoy:

“I’m already seeing results with him learning to transfer the skills he has learned from this course into his walks. Thanks for a fantastic learning opportunity for our family!”

And this is what Cath said:

“Brilliant video lesson and fantastic course. Ben and Duke really enjoying it so far and I am loving seeing them having such fun. Thank you!”

Not just dogs!

I’m used to hearing about positive change for the dogs in the Workshop, and for their harassed and baffled owners. But I think this evidence from Caitlin is a first!

“I’m amazed by the change already, thank you so much for this Workshop and the advice this week. I had my blood pressure taken today and it had also greatly improved so win win for all of us xx”

Tracie wrote, “Thank you Beverley for this free workshop. Lilly and I went for a walk this afternoon and she was A LOT calmer and so was I. I am looking forward to continuing lessons.”  And she’s now one of many who chose to carry on working with me in my advanced program.

Isn’t this what we all want? A calm life for us and our troubled dogs?

Hannah-Jade told us that Hank is now choosing to hang out with her more often rather than being aloof! “This is really helping our relationship.”

Real, deep, change

Natasha said one of the most moving things. She said,

“In just two days I’ve had a complete change of thinking in how I treat Oscar.”

For me, that makes everything worthwhile!

And Charlotte told us,

“This course has helped me fall back in love with my dog and given me hope for the future. It is a wonderful feeling to know that I can take the lead in his training rather than feeling I have to hand over my dog to someone else. Just this week I feel our bond has gone from strength to strength and I am really excited about the future.

Alfie is asleep while I write this and watch your sessions, instead of pacing about and obsessing over background noises thanks to the training sessions you have put in place for us.”

Wow! That’s some change!

Shannon simply wrote:

“Loving this course thank you so much: lifesaver!”

Might it be a lifesaver for you too?

How to get these results for yourself and your dog

“Three tries and then she did it and walked outside calmly - I can’t believe it!!”  Kirsty

Want to know WHAT Kirsty tried? Here’s the Workshop! Even if you missed the live event you can still benefit from it now, and find out just what gave these folk such amazing transformations.

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog cope with our world, watch our

Free Masterclass for Growly Dogs