How much does your dog sleep?

I make no apologies for revisiting this vital subject! So many of the queries I get can be resolved by simply allowing or encouraging your dog to sleep more!

Dogs need 17 hours of sleep a day to function well.

And this doesn’t mean snatched minutes of shut-eye when nothing is happening for a few moments!

It means proper, deep, uninterrupted sleep, for at least an hour at a time - and, of course, all night!

Teach ‘em young

And this doesn’t just happen without careful management.

In the same way that most responsible parents manage their babies’ and toddlers’ sleep sessions, teaching them that a sleep will cure lots of upsets, we have to teach our puppies how to manage themselves.

This is valuable learning.

We put small children in cots to make sure they can’t race around exhausting themselves when they need to rest.

In the same way, we can use crates or playpens to manage our puppies - who often won’t stop till they’re nailed to the floor!

I honestly don’t know how anyone manages a puppy without a crate or a playpen! I think that without these terrific aids we’re giving ourselves a huge amount of extra work and stress.

If you struggled to manage your youngster over the holiday period, now is the time to double down on teaching him or her how to sleep.

💤 Alone.  

💤  Contained.

💤 Without you.

💤 Without distraction.

You’ll be so glad you did!

And for more gems on managing your dog, check out the how-to books here!

Was your first dog your bestest dog ever?

My childhood dog was called Simon.

He was black and white and grey - a blue roan, in spaniel language - though much bigger than cocker spaniels tend to be nowadays, an old-fashioned version.

He was the same age as me, so we grew up together.

Harry Potter-like, he slept in the Singing Cupboard.

This was the same kitchen cupboard that housed the wireless, so he could enjoy “Music while you Work” and other such gems from post-war Britain while he dozed on his blankets. (No, he was never shut in the cupboard.)

In those days - especially in our suburban arcadia - it was normal for dogs to be loose. So our childhood adventures in the fields and on bikes were always accompanied by Simon.

Sometimes he wore sunglasses. Sometimes the poor dog had to wear shorts or a jumper. He took great pleasure in mucky pools and ditches, and he loved car rides.

He’d lie in front of the open fire and occasional coal explosions would result in a column of smoke rising from the sleeping dog’s thick coat. Very little bothered him.

Decades before dog agility was begun as a sport, I had jumps and hoops rigged up in the garden as a “showjumping course” for my dog.

So you can see where all this dog training came from!

Many people look back happily on their childhood, and the dog or dogs that pulled them through it.

It’s natural to want to re-create that for ourselves now, and especially for our family, so that our children can enjoy the same freedom and joy of having a devoted companion through the trials and tribulations of growing up.

But there are some things you need to keep in mind. 

🐾 There’ll never be another Simon.

There have been plenty of other charming canine individuals in my life - and I wouldn’t want to change a thing about them - but it’s not possible to re-create Simon. Each new dog brings his own personality to the party, and you have to work with what you have, not what you may wish you had.

🐾 Things have changed.

The happy-go-lucky life we enjoyed as children does not happen so much now. Dogs tend to be banned and barred from so many places that they don’t have the same social skills Simon had.

🐾 Breeds have changed.

What was once a suitable family pet is not necessarily now the case. You will have to dig deep here to find out what you need to know before inviting a particular breed into your home.

🐾 Memories are selective.

And as a child there’s an awful lot that I never knew or understood. My mother may have had a different view of having Simon - coloured by all the extra housework and possibly expense he may have caused. I never had to clean sick off the carpet - maybe it never happened. Maybe it happened a lot. I have no memory of that.

 🐾 On the plus side,

advances in understanding of dog behaviour and training have been so enormous over the past couple of decades, that all the help you need to rear the Brilliant Family Dog you want is available to you.

You just need to know where to look. Hint: keep reading!

By all means cherish the memories of your beloved childhood dog, and try and find his essence in a present-day equivalent.

That warm fuzzy glow of endless summer that I remember is far from being the whole picture!

Harness your dog's imagination!

Here at Brilliant Family Dog we hear so often about the woeful things dogs have got up to.

It’s all about the dreadful things they’ve dreamed up and the bad things they’ve done. They’ve chewed things up, they’ve managed to escape, they’ve re-arranged your flowerbeds …

Perversely, I’m pleased to hear these stories.

Why?

Because it shows that the dog is exercising his imagination!

In the absence of being given interesting things to do, he’s making up his own entertainment.

This shows that he is resourceful, enterprising, thoughtful, and eminently teachable!

What can I teach him to do instead?

Let’s have a look at a really simple, basic, but highly amusing “toy”: a cardboard box. Get one big enough for your dog to clamber into - at least get his front paws in. Check it over for sharp staples.

Now let’s see what he can do with it! Some of this will need your input, some you can happily let your dog discover.

• front paws in

• front paws on

• all paws in

• all paws on

• whole body in (box collapsed yet?)

• find hidden toys in it

• find toy amongst masses of screwed-up paper

• find toy amongst loads of empty plastic bottles, or smaller boxes

• hide food in cardboard tubes or small boxes - to be found and shredded

• put toy in

• take toy out

• hide a toy in a smaller box

• put smaller box into large box

• crawl through a cut-out “door”

• teach scent by hiding something in one of many boxes

• push it

• curl up in it

• drag it

• chew it up . . .

For your older, bored, dog, this is going to be heaven!

For your young puppy it’s an essential stage of getting her used to strange surfaces, wobbly things, things that slip and slide, noisy things, crunchy things, rattly things. I call this Puppy Gym and it’s a vital part of my puppy classes and the Brilliant Family Dog Academy

Some older dogs, especially those who’ve been used to being told what to do, will be perplexed by this box. You’ll need to spice it up a bit to pique their interest - perhaps toss a few treats in to get them interacting with it.  

And please don’t worry about mess! Mess is a by-product of living, and this is going to be a controlled mess, of your choosing.

Isn’t that far better than the mess you find when your bored dog entertains himself by chewing your computer cables, or loving your slippers to death?

Let me know in the comments how you got on with this possibly new game!

And for more fun for your dog, get our free email course here

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I can’t leave any food anywhere - my dog will steal it!

First published on positively.com and reprinted with permission 

We expect visitors - even quite young children - to leave our food alone. If we put a plate of cakes on the table, we don’t assume that our guest will grab the plate and wolf them all down! We expect them to wait politely till they are offered a cake - and then to take just the one.

We teach children this polite behaviour pretty early on. So why do we expect the opposite from dogs?

Why do we assume that they’ll steal anything that’s not nailed down, then say, “Ah well, it’s only a dog. What can you expect?”

I can tell you that I expect a lot: and what’s more, I get it!

What you expect is what you’ll get

Just think how life will improve when you can leave food on the kitchen counter, cake on the coffee table, shopping bags on the floor … I’ve even known people who have to shut the dog away when they’re eating or he’ll intercept the forkful of food on its way to their mouth!

And what about your favourite pair of shoes gnawed and chomped, the flower beds scattered over the lawn, your expensive phone now defunct? All this hooliganism, mayhem, and destruction can be changed to peace and harmony (cue birdsong).

Children and dogs alike

Plenty of us would struggle to leave this plate of doughnuts alone - but Cricket is managing it very well, without being told. Illustration from "Leave It!"

I once heard a new father say - somewhat wistfully - “I suppose we’ll have to put away anything we value now …”

“Not at all!” said his mother, “You just teach Emily to leave those things alone.”

And that’s exactly what you need to do with your dog: teach him.

He arrives on this planet an opportunist raider, a scavenger. Anything edible is clearly for him. He won’t learn what he can have by being bellowed at when he makes a wrong choice! In fact, this is a sure method for encouraging your puppy to steal.

Why?

Because every time he takes something you don’t want him to have, he gets a guaranteed performance of singing, shouting, squawking, dancing, and the greatest game of the lot - Chase!

Pretty soon you’ve taught your dog exactly how to get excitement and action. Sadly, this is precisely what you do not want.

So you need to embark on a program of explaining to him what he may have - and that will bring him a reward - and what he may not have, which will result in no reward. And here “no reward” includes no singing, shouting, or dancing, and especially no chasing.

Coco poodle is only 16 weeks old in this photo, yet he already knows that food at nose level is not for him. I left my lunch on the stool, saw his response and went to find my phone to take a picture of this happy scene. It was not a set-up, in other words. I hadn’t told him to do or not do anything.

It’s just a snapshot of everyday life in a household of four dogs, none of whom will steal my food. Or anything else I don’t want them to have.

The best way to start this is by just showing your dog that you have good food in your hand, then closing your fingers over it so he can’t snatch it. He’ll now go through a sequence of sniffing, licking, nibbling, pawing, your hand. Stay still! And wait. Eventually he’ll stop for just a moment, and pull back from your hand. Only when he can stay away from your hand do you give him one of your tasty treats.

From this foundation you build up very gradually and consistently, till your dog becomes an expert at this and knows straight away when something is for him, and when it’s not. This will include a dropped box of chocolates, the Sunday roast slipping out of the pan onto the floor, a dropped bottle of pills, the children’s toys, something long-dead in a field. And your shoes.

You can always add a vocal cue, like “Leave it”, later on. And that can be useful in some situations - perhaps when your young dog is curious about something he’s seen on the street but that you know is dangerous. But I like to make this a default behaviour which needs no cue. You don’t need to remind your guest not to pinch the cakes!

By the way, for English readers, here’s a load of money off a super food I regularly use and here’s another where you can get a big discount using this link - they provide high-quality fishy treats and foods, which are firm favourites with my crew!

For those of you who’d like the exact recipe for teaching this, you’ll find step-by-step guidance in Leave it! How to teach Amazing Impulse Control to your Brilliant Family Dog, the second book in the series of Essential Skills for a Brilliant Family Dog. You’ll have a full program which gradually turns your dog into a family member with impeccable manners!

You can choose paperback , ebook or audiobook

And in case you missed my piece “My dog can’t keep still - he’s wild all the time!” you’ll be pleased to know you can still get the first book in the series free at all outlets!

Is it my dog? Or is it me?

For your dog to change, you need to change!

This is the message emblazoned on our home page.

And some people will take one look at that and say, “No, I’m perfect: it’s my dog that’s all wrong!” And they’re gone.

That’s sad, because their dog is now denied the possibility that their owner might change!

But those with more perception, more thoughtfulness - you, obviously, as you’re reading this! - see that there is truth in this.

You see, dogs - just like us - are responsive, sentient beings. They don’t just DO. They respond.

Something happens; you do something; they do something. It’s like a game of ping-pong, where you bat things back and forth. If what you bat back to your dog is harsh, self-centred, punitive, you have alienated him and he’s not going to “play ball” any more.

But if you look at what happened, work out why your dog did what he did, and respond with encouragement or distraction or take it as a teaching moment, then you can engage your learner and make some solid progress!

“How can I stop my dog doing xyz?”

My inbox is full of these questions on a daily basis. If I responded harshly, saying that they’re approaching it all wrong, I would lose that person. They’d take offence and go off in a huff. Result: life doesn’t improve, dog stays in trouble!

But I take my own advice from the paragraph above, and make my reply a teaching moment!

These correspondents are repeating what they understand is necessary, what they’ve been told by others: that this creature is wilful and difficult, and needs to be controlled, prevented, contained, in order to have a peaceful home.

But in fact the reverse is true! The more choice you give your dog, the better result you will get.

More choice = more harmony!

I’m pleased that someone has read what I wrote and sees me as someone trustworthy, who can help them. This is to be encouraged! I’m passionate about getting the word on force-free training out as far as is possible.

It’s just like tennis (I do love the summer tennis season!): you lose every point where you don’t hit the ball back in play.

So instead of alienating these readers by castigating them, I encourage them to view things differently and get the result they want.

I explain that instead of trying to stop your dog doing something, it’s infinitely more effective (and faster!) to teach him to do something else instead.

Can you catch yourself?

Sometimes, even an accomplished dog-owner can slip up! You may catch yourself having a knee-jerk reaction to your dog. Maybe because you’re tired, busy, flustered, embarrassed …

Be sure to catch those moments and see how you can change them for the better.

A little reflection, putting yourself in your dog’s paws, may show you why he did what he did, and how you can help him to make a better choice next time.

We all keep learning - dogs and people - every single day!

If you need help putting this theory into practice, be sure to watch our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN, without nagging, cajoling, or bribery!

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Permission for Dog Training

Whose permission do you have to get to train your dog? 

NOBODY’S!!

🐾 You don't have to get permission from anybody to know how to look after your dog

🐾    You don't need my permission - and you certainly don't need some other dog trainer’s permission! 

You need to rely on what you know is right, what you feel is right. It's your integrity that counts in the end.

You KNOW what is the right way to treat other people. And so you KNOW what is the right way to treat animals in your care. 

Self-styled experts

There are, sadly, many so-called “dog trainers” who will tell you to do things that go against what you know to be right. They bamboozle you into thinking they know best, that your feelings are not important.

So many times people tell me that they were shamed into doing things with their dogs that they now deeply regret. It’s easy to understand how they were duped. They looked for professional help and sadly this is what happened to them. They were made to appear foolish and weak.

But the fact that they are now writing to me to thank me for turning their lives around and showing them a better way means that they have moved on! They no longer have to feel bad about something that happened in the past.

Here’s an excerpt from a long story sent to me by a reader of my Growly Dog Books (Essential Skills for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog)

“I was told I wasn’t any good at helping my dog as I wasn’t winning respect with a firm voice (by this, our male trainer meant shouting) or not acting animated enough. I was told to condition her with punishment and when it failed, use pet corrector (spray) for reactivity, but my poor dog was just so terrified she shut down with the trainer (regrettably, and only thanks to you, I only know now that was her shutting down).

“On top of it, we were told to go out to the busiest road we can find and walk up and down it twice daily to expose her. As you can imagine, our dog got even more reactive afterwards. … I was pretty frightened of the trainer myself. He used to use us to show what not to do in front of a whole class; naturally, we were isolated in the class, with no one talking to us and poor our dog barking mad (literally!).

“My confidence level was pretty low then but I am so glad we stood by our dog until we found you. … We are forming a whole new level of bond that feels unbreakable. …

“I love the simplicity of being able to reward behaviour just because I like it. I feel so at ease and myself, not being told to shout or act crazy happy, which isn’t my natural temperament. Your books have shown me how to channel my instinctive mental states and behaviour to her in a helpful way.

“I feel guilty and ashamed to look back what I allowed both myself and our dog to go through with the other trainer. But the main thing is we are building a new relationship with her now. I am truly grateful.”  MR

I am so happy that this reader was ready to keep looking for the right help. She knew, deep down, that what was happening was WRONG. She found my books and discovered a new way of being with her dog that fitted her belief system.  

You can only act with the information available to you at the time. That’s why it’s so important to keep learning daily! To look forward with happy anticipation, not look back with regret. I spend a lot of money (many thousands of pounds annually) on increasing my knowledge and abilities, on an ongoing basis. Never stop learning!

“We are forming a whole new level of bond that feels unbreakable”

For me, this says it all. What’s it all about if you don’t enjoy the dog you got to be your companion? What’s life for if not to enjoy?

So don't go around looking for permission, or saying “I didn't know I could do that!” Find out what you need to do to make your dog happy

and just do that.

That way you can’t go wrong!

Want to make a start by getting your dog to LISTEN?

Watch our free Workshop and start the transformation that MR enjoyed!