How much does your dog sleep?

I make no apologies for revisiting this vital subject! So many of the queries I get can be resolved by simply allowing or encouraging your dog to sleep more!

Dogs need 17 hours of sleep a day to function well.

And this doesn’t mean snatched minutes of shut-eye when nothing is happening for a few moments!

It means proper, deep, uninterrupted sleep, for at least an hour at a time - and, of course, all night!

Teach ‘em young

And this doesn’t just happen without careful management.

In the same way that most responsible parents manage their babies’ and toddlers’ sleep sessions, teaching them that a sleep will cure lots of upsets, we have to teach our puppies how to manage themselves.

This is valuable learning.

We put small children in cots to make sure they can’t race around exhausting themselves when they need to rest.

In the same way, we can use crates or playpens to manage our puppies - who often won’t stop till they’re nailed to the floor!

I honestly don’t know how anyone manages a puppy without a crate or a playpen! I think that without these terrific aids we’re giving ourselves a huge amount of extra work and stress.

If you struggled to manage your youngster over the holiday period, now is the time to double down on teaching him or her how to sleep.

💤 Alone.  

💤  Contained.

💤 Without you.

💤 Without distraction.

You’ll be so glad you did!

And for more gems on managing your dog, check out the how-to books here!

Puppies will be puppies!

Puppies are all much of a muchness - cute, exploring, shy, cuddly, quickly tired . . . They have needs, and the biggest need they have is to learn how to fit into our weird human world.

And yet people get a new puppy and think something is wrong when their puppy

• Doesn’t sleep all night

• Explores everything by mouth

• Doesn’t know where or when to pee

• Thinks the children are other puppies

And then they write to me.

Either they think they’re doing something wrong, or - more often - they think there’s something fundamentally wrong with their puppy.

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And they want their dream of a cute cuddly puppy back!

There’s a high chance that if they’re struggling with one or other aspect of puppy care (it’s usually sleep, nipping, or housetraining) their puppy is behaving totally normally. But they may need to adjust their expectations and understanding of how the doggy brain works in order to restore harmony in their home!

Now I’m glad they find Brilliant Family Dog and they write to me and not to any of the forceful “trainers” out there, which are legion. I’m always free with advice to help them get back on track with their new charge (I’d much rather they asked and found the answer, rather than struggle on with an unhappy household). And the first thing I remind them is that their puppy is a BABY.

But really, where did common sense go?

Common sense

• Is it not common sense to do a bit of research before inviting a baby from another species to share your home?

• Is it not common sense to learn what changes you need to make to your current habits in order to have this work?

• Is it not common sense to find out what puppies are like so that you can have realistic expectations?

• And surely common sense decrees that if adults have to learn this new stuff, your children also need help to understand how to co-exist with this new stranger.

I’m willing to bet that when these parents first had their children they got masses of advice, loads of equipment, and most certainly didn’t leave their offspring loose in the house without supervision, with cats and dogs wandering around behaving species-inappropriately with them!

Expecting a puppy who’s only been on the planet a matter of weeks to fit into a new and totally foreign regime without any guidance and help would be equally crazy, and to me unreasonable and unthinkable.

The way forward

So if you’ve arrived here looking for help because your puppy isn’t measuring up to your expectations - you’re most welcome! Please do look around and find the help you need. Start with the SEARCH function up there in the navigation bar (that’s across the top of the page on a laptop and in the three little bars at the top on mobile).

You’ll find a huge wealth of articles here to help you with your puppy - not just giving you instructions to change your puppy’s behaviour, but plenty of guidance on changing your own behaviour! It has to be give-and-take for this to work the way you want it to.

There are free downloadable guides for many of the more popular queries, and even free courses!

This could be a good jumping-off place for you

All I ask is that you give it a try. Nothing is more depressing than taking the time to advise someone who says “We need help urgently, please reply.” And finding them coming back with the same query a few weeks later, having done nothing that was suggested.

Chances are your puppy is completely normal, nothing wrong with him at all. But you may be focussing on the wrong things . . .

Go and check those resources I’ve linked!

Are you the right owner for this puppy?

Oh, and if you really expect your puppy to lie in his basket all day ready to be got out and shown off when you feel like it; to be able to tell the difference between a toy you’ve given him and one that he finds as he wanders about free-range (your phone, your remote, your glasses / shoes / book, the computer cables); to adopt new sleeping patterns with no help; to know how to play with people with skin like tissue paper and no protective fur; or even to know in advance when they need to pee - then perhaps you need to re-think the whole idea of inviting a dog into your home.

When you are ready will be time enough to choose a puppy.

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Do you need information for your dog - or guidance?

You’ve got the new puppy - or your new rescue dog. You’ve got the bed, the crate, the foodbowl and some grub. You’ve booked a vet appointment, you’ve worked out responsibilities in the family, you’ve got the collar and lead.

Now what?

If you look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs - written for humans, but just as applicable to dogs - you’ll see that that’s the Physiological and Safety needs covered.

Next step up on the pyramid is Love and Belonging. This should happen naturally as you care for your new pet, always ensuring that he is happy with the arrangements, and feels secure and wanted.

And that’s where a lot of people stop. The dog is fed and minded, he gets walks and a cuddle from time to time, and that’s it.

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But what about the next two levels?

The Needs I’m particularly interested in are

• Esteem - including respect, self-esteem, and freedom - and

• Self-actualisation - becoming the best one can be

What? This is a DOG!

Well, like everyone else in your family, your dog will feel much better, more loved, more valued, if you allow him to become the best he can be.

And this means training.

Not “training” in the traditional sense of “Do this, do that, do what I say,” but education in the original sense of drawing out the subject’s mind, knowledge, ability.

This is where Choice Training comes in!

Brilliant Family Dog’s Choice Training is the quickest way to build a rewarding relationship with a dog who can make good decisions!

And this is also where you could probably do with a bit of help.

Is your dog stupid?

Many of us are brought up to believe that a dog is pretty stupid. That you have to SHOUT at her to get her to understand. That she is a robot who has to be programmed with COMMANDS then give instant compliance or reap the consequences. (How many of you expect instant compliance from your family when you make a request?!)

When you turn things round and ask your dog to comply, instead of telling her, magic begins to happen. See what this Brilliant Family Dog student said: 

I like choice training as it makes me think of my dog as a friend rather than as something to be ordered about all the time.

But this can be hard to get your head round without a bit of help. We are so programmed to expect the old-school way of dog training, that we may be tempted to go to classes which treat the dog as a chattel, and accept instructions to treat our dog in a way we would not dream of treating our fellow humans.

(I’m not blaming you if this is what’s happened. You wanted the best for your dog, so you went to someone who claimed to be an expert. How were you to know?)

But just imagine it’s your 2-year-old child on the end of that lead in class: do you think you’d behave differently?  

You need a guide you can trust -

✅ Someone who understands your needs as well as your dog’s needs.

✅ Someone who knows that this will all go so much better if we view our relationship with our dog as a partnership, rather than master-slave.

✅ Someone who can show you how to teach your dog to get the companion you want without going against any of your deeply-held values about how to treat others who share this planet with us.  

Now . . . who could that be? 😀

You can end the frustration!

At Brilliant Family Dog, I help frustrated dog-owners transform the whole dog+owner experience from challenge and conflict to harmony and friendship.

Unlike many trainers who work with force, intimidation, and coercion to get temporary results, Brilliant Family Dog can give you permanent change and a bright new future with your much-loved dog without you ever saying “Nooo”!

Really! You never, ever, have to say “NO” to your little puppy, or your new dog, who begins by feeling disoriented and lost in his new home. Think how much stress slips away when you remove that word from your interactions.

My approach is really very different from the traditional one, of dogs being marched endlessly round a hall with their lead being yanked. And I take you step-by-step through the foundations to ensure you get the results you work for.

When I asked my students what their biggest takeaway was, this is one of the answers I got! 

Should have gone to Beverley sooner

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I love my dog AND I love my sleep!

One of the most common cries for help that arrives in my inbox at Brilliant Family Dog, is how to get a new puppy to sleep.

People tend to expect some sleepless nights when they have a new baby. But for some odd reason, many folk think that they’ll bring home a new puppy, play with him in the daytime, then plonk him in his basket and expect him to switch off for eight hours straight.

They get a rude awakening! Or rather, as they never get to sleep in the first place, a rude stay-awakening.

Your new puppy has been “snatched” from his comfy home, full of other playmates who doubled up as hot water bottles. He was undoubtedly confined to a small area by the breeder - no midnight ramblings! But once he arrives in his new home, he’s over-stimulated and exhausted all day, then parked in a strange large room - possibly providing him with furniture to chew and carpet and electric cables to pee on - with no company, no warm breathing fluffies, no heartbeats.

He’s cold. He’s lonely. He’s afraid.

(Yes, I know you don’t mean him any harm - on the contrary, you want to love him - and I’m sure your house is pleasantly warm. But he has no company, no-one to snuggle up with. He feels lost.)

So what does he do?

He SCREAMS! 🙀 😱 💥

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How to by-pass the screaming

And it’s after a few nights of full-blooded screaming, which is rewarded by pyjama-clad owners continually going downstairs to fuss over him - sometimes even bringing their duvet and sleeping on the couch! - that I get the desperate emails.

So how about sorting this problem on Day 1?

How about planning things so that the screaming never happens?

We all know that habits can build fast, and if your puppy is spending half his night screaming and getting attention, this can fast become what he expects!

My recipe for peaceful nights from the very start, is this:

1. Use a crate, half-cover it, and

2. Shut the door.

3. Sleep the puppy in the crate in your darkened room, preferably right by your bed so you can sleepily dangle a hand down for him to sniff or lick.

4. If he seems very agitated at some stage, carry him outside, put on his lead and give him a chance to relieve himself. Then back to his crate - all virtually silent. No play, no chitchat, no food, no water.

As people unaccountably seem to find this difficult and want to add in all sorts of variations, I’ll give you some “don’ts” too:

1. Don’t leave food or water in the crate.

2. Ignore any stirrings for as long as possible.

3. Never wake him up!

4. Stop worrying about it.

My puppies - of various sizes - are all clean and dry by night by 10 weeks at the very, very latest. Some are clean and dry and sleep all night from their first night, at 8 weeks.

Mealtimes

Take a look at the timings of your puppy’s meals. At 8 weeks he should be on four a day. It takes a certain length of time for the food to transit the gut and emerge the other end.

So if your pup needs to poo in the night (assuming the poo is firm and doesn’t indicate a dietary or medical problem) you’ll need to adjust the mealtimes LATER. If he’s getting his last meal at 6 pm, for example, and it takes 10 hours to pass through him, then you have just set your alarm for 4 am!

How to know how long it takes to work its way through?

Great trick here: give him a carrot to chew and note the time. Dogs can’t digest carrot, so when you see orange chunks in his poo, note that time too. This will give you a pretty good idea of how to time his meals.

It’s a big responsibility having a new little person to look after. And when there is so much nonsensical advice and old wives’ tales thrown at you as well, it can be a worrying time.

But if you plan ahead and know that you’re doing the right thing, it all becomes so much easier!  

✅ You have needs.

✅ Your puppy has needs.

✅ Balance the two and you’ll both be zizzing all night within a day or two. 

But my dog’s not a little puppy!

Incidentally - the exact same applies if you’re rehoming an adult dog. She may never have been housetrained. Or she had to live outside. Or she had a totally different lifestyle from what you’re giving her. It can take at least two months for a new adult dog to settle into her new home. Meanwhile she doesn’t know which way is up!

She’s lost, disorientated … and she needs almost as much sleep as a new puppy does.

So follow the SAME RECIPE!

Ensure your new adult dog gets the same amount of downtime, and the same cosy den, as I’m suggesting for a new puppy. Dogs are keen to fit in - if they only knew what was wanted. So do just the same and enjoy your sleep.

Let me know how you get on!

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Getting a new puppy?

It’s the time of year when many people start thinking about new life, re-birth, flowers blossoming, trees leafing up. And why not get that warm fuzzy feeling of new baby-ness in your home, with a new puppy! 

Great idea - IF you do a bit of planning.

I love it when people write to me that they will be collecting their puppy next week, next month - even next year - and they’re researching now. Love it!

If you’re getting a new baby in the family, you don’t wait till the birth then start researching, purchasing equipment, and asking advice of friends and relations! It’s in the front of your mind for many months. You have plenty of time to work out how you’re going to manage things.

Many parents will have their newborn sleep in their bedroom with them. They don’t panic that they will have a teenage lout still there in 15 years’ time! They know that things will naturally change, move on.

And so with your puppy. When I advise new owners to have the puppy’s crate in their bedroom to ensure a full night’s sleep, I’m met with cries of “I don’t want a dog in the bedroom!” and “How will I ever get the dog out of my bedroom?”

Wrong (and fairly nonsensical) responses. The question to ask is how to settle the puppy in so that everyone rests at night. Once you achieve that happy state, you can start thinking about where you’d like your adult dog to sleep.

Forward planning!

You don’t want to rush in without at least having an idea of the type of dog you want for your family. And if you’re offered a rescued pup out of the blue, then you’ll know whether this puppy is likely to fit your family or not. You’ll be in a good position to take the puppy or leave it for someone who would be able to give it a more suitable home.

It isn’t our responsibility to try to rescue every abandoned puppy! It’s our responsibility to choose, as far as possible, the right puppy for our home, our family, and our lifestyle.

Of course there is more variation between individual dogs than between breeds. But you’ll get off to a poor start if your idea of exercise is walking from the car to the shop, and you choose a dog bred to tramp the moors for many hours a day, just because you like the look of it. You need to put your realistic head on!

What about my older dog?

Some of you may be introducing a puppy into a household with a resident dog. You’ve so loved your friendly old dog that you’d like to get him a playmate. Do remember that your dog has an opinion too! He may have had nothing to do with the choice process, but he has to handle the fall-out when the puppy arrives. And it may be the last thing he wants - to be harried all the time by a young whippersnapper who he’s reluctant to tell off.

Think how you’d feel if your husband came home with a pretty girl on his arm and said, “I so enjoy having you as my wife I’ve decided to get another - she’ll be a great playmate for you. You don’t mind her sitting in your favourite armchair?” Yeah. Wouldn’t go down too well.

It’s essential to create boundaries to give everyone - including both dogs - peace. You’ll find detailed guidelines in this post.

Brand new to puppies?

Exciting! Lots to learn, love, and enjoy. See what one reader said about New Puppy! From New Puppy to Brilliant Family Dog - How to survive the early weeks and still love your puppy!

“We gave our kids a Westie puppy (8 weeks old) for Christmas. I delayed getting a dog because I didn't grow up with one in our house, and I am frankly intimidated by most dogs. Reading this book ahead of our puppy's arrival helped me feel calm and excited. Even reading the book, I could finally see what "dog" people were so excited by. Since the puppy came, things have been really smooth. We are still working on housetraining (two days later), but he so far he's slept through the night both nights he's been in the house without accident or waking us up. He's incredibly sweet, and I'm so glad I have this method to work with him. I actually told my husband that I wished we had read it before our kids were born as the lessons apply to children as well and took us years to learn as far as the kids go. We are going to take one of the author’s online courses now as a family.” Amazon 5* review

Good preparation PLUS a friendly, clear, force-free, guide had an amazing effect on this family and their new puppy!

The puppy starts growing up …

Yes! In time you’ll be over the baby stage and dealing with an adventurous, boundary-testing, teenage dog (that’s around 6-8 months or so)! You need a whole new set of skills for coping with this - kindly, efficiently, enjoyably. And you’ll be so glad you took the time to lay the foundations so that your dog always looks to you first for information and entertainment.

So check out this puppy page regularly to catch up with the latest educational posts on this blog. And don’t miss the Resources list below, which will give you masses of information for getting started. Many of the posts have a free guide for you!

Do write and tell me about your new puppy, his/her name, age, breed or type, especially personality - and how much you’re enjoying each other. I read every comment and every email. And I love seeing photos! And - who knows? - your puppy may end up as a poster child here or in one of my books (with your permission, of course).

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RESOURCES:

Your puppy’s first day home!

New Puppy!

I know he’s only a puppy but …

Choosing a Puppy, Part 1

Choosing a Puppy, Part 2

Choosing a Puppy, Part 3

What puppy gear do I really need?

Errorless Housetraining and Crate Training

10 Ways to Stop Puppy Biting

I have a new puppy - will I ever sleep again?

I have a dog - can I get a new puppy too?

Our family’s always had dogs - why is this one so difficult? (SOCIALISATION GUIDE)

Puppy Socialisation in Lockdown

Digging, Chewing, Chasing, Barking

and many, many more!

A puppy meets a carefully-chosen older friendly dog. These early meetings must be managed closely!

Make a start with our free e-course to deal with lots of your popular puppy problems

My dog is busybusy all day long and never stops!

You may enjoy your dog keeping you company all day - but if your lifestyle is very active and busy you’re actually not helping him! Like toddlers, dogs need to have naps and calm periods built into their day. They are crepuscular beasties - which means they are most alert at twilight, their ancestral hunting time.

And just like toddlers, not getting these vital rest periods will result in disturbed behaviour. For your dog this means that he’s much shorter-tempered, easily agitated, hard to reason with.

This is making your life much harder than necessary! And if you are blessed with a Growly Dog who is already disposed to reactivity, fear, anxiety, or aggression, you can 10x that!

Plenty of ideas in this free 8-lesson email course for calming down your life with your dog!

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And as we know that stress is the silent killer for humans, so it can be for dogs, predisposing them to ailments that they are unable to resist.

I wrote about sleep and puppy-biting a while ago. And I’m revisiting this subject because it is SOOOO important, and so seldom understood!

So how can you curb your frantic dog’s activity and improve life for both of you?

Bedtimes

The first thing to do is establish sleeping areas in the home where your dog can sleep without being disturbed. So rather than letting your puppy crash where he runs out of steam, always transfer him to his crate or bed. Build these sleep-places into your day from the start.

Protected sleep times are also important to build in from Day 1. My dogs are all adult, and as I write they are all in or on various beds near me. They sleep while I work (lucky them!). This pattern of “when nothing’s happening you need to sleep” is carefully baked in from the day the puppy arrives with me.

A puppy who’s been awake for more than an hour or so needs to go to bed!

But you can still teach an older dog this way of life, even if there are established patterns of lunacy!

Teaching an older dog to rest

Here’s an extract from my book series Essential Skills for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog which you can find here. I’m repeating it here because it illustrates so well how quickly you can influence some of your dog’s behaviours when you approach it the right way.

“I was visiting a very caring couple who had brought their young rescue collie Tim to classes when they first got him. I was glad they’d got in touch again, because the young dog was very fearful and couldn’t cope well with life. We arranged a visit.

While there, it became clear that this hyperactive dog was wearing himself out. For the first twenty minutes of my visit he never stopped. He raced in and out of the room, jumped up my front, my back, chewed my hair, poked the other dog, ran off again, paced … never rested.

So I quickly amended my training plan to include some relaxation work. After some active games to get Tim to engage with me, I started teaching him to slow down and relax. After just five minutes of this, his owner expressed amazement at seeing her frantic dog actually lying down still for more than ten seconds at a time!

When I finished the short session and released him, what did he do? Do you think he went straight back into busybusy mode, panting and racing?

Nope. He just slid onto the floor beside us, and as he lay there his head started to loll, his eyelids drooped, and he was … asleep!

To the total astonishment of his owner, who had never seen him sleep in the day!

So how much sleep should Tim be having?

Did you know that dogs need to have an average seventeen hours of sleep a day to work at their optimum level with the least amount of stress?

Seventeen hours.

I can hear you all saying, “My dog never sleeps that much.”

Well, it’s seventeen hours for adult dogs - obviously more for puppies. And some dogs need to be helped to achieve this total.

Tim had had a poor start in life before his present owners took him in and gave him a secure and loving home. So he’d developed habits of nervous and stressy behaviour which had stuck with him. Showing him how to relax transformed him in just a few short minutes and allowed him to get some much-needed rest.

His owners are carrying on this work with him, and it will make all the other things we have to teach him so much easier.”

Calm

Want to know what I did to relax this hyper dog? To get the exact program, work through the first book in the Essential Skills for a Brilliant Family Dog series: Calm Down! Step-by-Step to a Calm, Relaxed, and Brilliant Family Dog It’s free at all e-book stores, and also available in paperback online and you can order it from any good bookshop. Quite apart from the usefulness of this skill for any dog, anywhere, if you have a reactive dog it will hugely benefit him.

Be aware that teaching calm and relaxation is not teaching a stay exercise with the traditional stern shouting and finger-waving! (Although, curiously, you will get a solid stay as a result.)

The object is quite different - to change your dog’s mental state, not to anchor his physical position.

Learning how to switch off can also help with Separation Anxiety. If this is an area of distress for your dog, you could do with going through a whole protocol to make positive changes. This book by Patricia McConnell has a step-by-step program. It’s not an overnight fix, and few people in my experience can be bothered to resolve this issue for their poor dog - unless he’s destroying the house and defecating all over the carpet. But think how much happier you’ll all be if instead of agitated pacing when you’re out, you just get peaceful snoozing.

I’ll also mention the Relaxation Protocol. (These audios have been generously provided by Roxanne Hawn and are free to download.) This is a program which takes incremental steps from frantic non-resting dog to chilled-out dog with a lower heart-rate and dreamy feelings of comfort and relaxation.

It’s a simple program: you don’t have to do Day 1 only on Day 1 - repeat each “Day” till you have it right, then move on to the next “Day”. I choose to have the dog lying down for this - more conducive to dozing. It takes time, yes, but it’s time well spent helping your dog destress. You’ll feel as if you’ve had a relaxation session yourself when it’s over!

It’s worth getting started on it to help your dog access the calm side of his mind, which he may have lost sight of in his anxiety. Again, few people in my experience follow through on this and complete the cycle in several different places. But those who do get MASSIVE improvement! It’s especially useful for the never-resting dog, the hyper dog, the anxious or fearful dog, your Growly Dog.

Start the change with your puppy or dog with our free Workshop packed with ideas and strategies -

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