I love my dog AND I love my sleep!

One of the most common cries for help that arrives in my inbox at Brilliant Family Dog, is how to get a new puppy to sleep.

People tend to expect some sleepless nights when they have a new baby. But for some odd reason, many folk think that they’ll bring home a new puppy, play with him in the daytime, then plonk him in his basket and expect him to switch off for eight hours straight.

They get a rude awakening! Or rather, as they never get to sleep in the first place, a rude stay-awakening.

Your new puppy has been “snatched” from his comfy home, full of other playmates who doubled up as hot water bottles. He was undoubtedly confined to a small area by the breeder - no midnight ramblings! But once he arrives in his new home, he’s over-stimulated and exhausted all day, then parked in a strange large room - possibly providing him with furniture to chew and carpet and electric cables to pee on - with no company, no warm breathing fluffies, no heartbeats.

He’s cold. He’s lonely. He’s afraid.

(Yes, I know you don’t mean him any harm - on the contrary, you want to love him - and I’m sure your house is pleasantly warm. But he has no company, no-one to snuggle up with. He feels lost.)

So what does he do?

He SCREAMS! 🙀 😱 💥

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How to by-pass the screaming

And it’s after a few nights of full-blooded screaming, which is rewarded by pyjama-clad owners continually going downstairs to fuss over him - sometimes even bringing their duvet and sleeping on the couch! - that I get the desperate emails.

So how about sorting this problem on Day 1?

How about planning things so that the screaming never happens?

We all know that habits can build fast, and if your puppy is spending half his night screaming and getting attention, this can fast become what he expects!

My recipe for peaceful nights from the very start, is this:

1. Use a crate, half-cover it, and

2. Shut the door.

3. Sleep the puppy in the crate in your darkened room, preferably right by your bed so you can sleepily dangle a hand down for him to sniff or lick.

4. If he seems very agitated at some stage, carry him outside, put on his lead and give him a chance to relieve himself. Then back to his crate - all virtually silent. No play, no chitchat, no food, no water.

As people unaccountably seem to find this difficult and want to add in all sorts of variations, I’ll give you some “don’ts” too:

1. Don’t leave food or water in the crate.

2. Ignore any stirrings for as long as possible.

3. Never wake him up!

4. Stop worrying about it.

My puppies - of various sizes - are all clean and dry by night by 10 weeks at the very, very latest. Some are clean and dry and sleep all night from their first night, at 8 weeks.

Mealtimes

Take a look at the timings of your puppy’s meals. At 8 weeks he should be on four a day. It takes a certain length of time for the food to transit the gut and emerge the other end.

So if your pup needs to poo in the night (assuming the poo is firm and doesn’t indicate a dietary or medical problem) you’ll need to adjust the mealtimes LATER. If he’s getting his last meal at 6 pm, for example, and it takes 10 hours to pass through him, then you have just set your alarm for 4 am!

How to know how long it takes to work its way through?

Great trick here: give him a carrot to chew and note the time. Dogs can’t digest carrot, so when you see orange chunks in his poo, note that time too. This will give you a pretty good idea of how to time his meals.

It’s a big responsibility having a new little person to look after. And when there is so much nonsensical advice and old wives’ tales thrown at you as well, it can be a worrying time.

But if you plan ahead and know that you’re doing the right thing, it all becomes so much easier!  

✅ You have needs.

✅ Your puppy has needs.

✅ Balance the two and you’ll both be zizzing all night within a day or two. 

But my dog’s not a little puppy!

Incidentally - the exact same applies if you’re rehoming an adult dog. She may never have been housetrained. Or she had to live outside. Or she had a totally different lifestyle from what you’re giving her. It can take at least two months for a new adult dog to settle into her new home. Meanwhile she doesn’t know which way is up!

She’s lost, disorientated … and she needs almost as much sleep as a new puppy does.

So follow the SAME RECIPE!

Ensure your new adult dog gets the same amount of downtime, and the same cosy den, as I’m suggesting for a new puppy. Dogs are keen to fit in - if they only knew what was wanted. So do just the same and enjoy your sleep.

Let me know how you get on!

Check other post that might help your brilliant dogs:

I have a new puppy: will I ever get any sleep again?

How much time does your dog spend sleeping?

How much does your dog sleep?

Errorless Housetraining and Crate Training

Puppy Crate training demystified

Have your puppy sleep ALL NIGHT from the first night! Get this free guide to show you how

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Procrastination is the thief of your dog’s time

“Procrastination is the thief of time”

One of my mother’s favourite sayings! Whenever we wanted to put off doing anything at all - from carrying our plate back to the sink to hanging up our coats or finishing our homework - that steady calm voice would tell us we were wasting our precious time, that it was lost and gone for ever.

Of course at that age we had no idea of how fast time whizzes by.

But now we’re all grown up and we know! All too well!

And it’s not only our time that we’re losing, but our lovely dog’s time.

Our dogs haven’t got as long as we have. They haven’t got time to lose. They’re here and time-consuming (as a puppy), they’re still here and much loved and adored (as an older dog).

But how much of their time do we waste by NOT working with them? 

.. by NOT teaching them what we’d like?

.. by NOT finding the time to do the training we’ve spent ages trawling through the internet to find?

If we’re always being too busy to utilise the knowledge we’ve found, then that knowledge is useless - and acquiring it was a perfect waste of time! 

NOW NOW NOW!

We all want rapid results - of course we do. I don’t know about you, but I get a lot of tech challenges in my line of business. I know how to do things . . . but what do I do when it all goes wrong? 😱

Over time I’ve cracked most of the daily tech problems I get. But if my business didn’t rely on solving those problems, I’d probably . . . procrastinate!

It’s much easier not to confront problems, rather let them drift in the forlorn hope that they’ll just disappear. But as we know, in truth, they bubble along below the surface till one day they jump up to bite us!

And then, don’t you just wish you’d dealt with the problem head on, at the time it first emerged? Because now you have loads of issues to unravel - just to get back to where you started!

So to forestall tech problems, I’m careful only to use software which has a solid reputation for speedy support and backup. 

Don’t you need just that with your dog?

You can find anything you want on the internet and in books. You can filter your results carefully for methods which accord with your own values - to make sure you only use force-free training.

You can even allocate the time and get started working with your dog!

So . . . it says: 

Step 1: Do this

Step 2: Dog will do that

Step 3: You’ve got it!

But hang on! What happens when Step 2 falls asunder?

What happens when you “do this” (or you think you’re “doing this” - maybe you’re actually doing something wrong or different? How can you know?) and then your dog does NOT “do that”?

Now what?

You’re stuck. Stuck fast. Can’t move forward. No idea what the problem is. Is the dog dumb? Are you dumb? You’re doing your best and it’s just not working.

This is where you need that speedy support and backup. There is absolutely no reason why you should be able to make this work straight away. You’re not an expert, which is why you’ve looked for help in the first place!  

So what can you do?

Just like me choosing softwares which have a solid reputation for speedy support and backup, you need to choose dog training with a solid reputation for speedy support and backup!

I’m not a tech expert, and I can’t manage those techy problems without guidance and help. And if you’re not a professional dog trainer,  you need that same guidance and help for your dog training.

Every time you meet a problem you can’t solve, you’re likely to put off dealing with it.

• Ok, so the dog jumps up on visitors - I can’t fix it so they’ll have to put up with it.

• The dog barks at other dogs - been trying to change this on my own for years without success.

• My dog is so embarrassing I can’t walk him by daylight … I’ve tried everything . . .

You need HELP!

You need someone who you can trust not only to give you the methods and techniques, but to help you build a plan to teach them to your particular dog - in your own individual circumstances - and then be there for you to be accountable to, so that you get it done!

Someone who will hold your hand, help you modify your plan where necessary, see what may be going wrong, and give you a High Five when you’ve achieved your goal.

Someone you can be honest with, unburden yourself to, who you know will understand what you’re struggling with with your dog.

You’re in luck!

You can sign up here for our free e-course below to get you started in the direction you want to go - and find out all about our programs to keep your nose to the grindstone, getting the results you want!

Want to change life with your Growly Dog without force or intimidation? Get our free e-course here and get started!

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5 Reasons You Should Never Tie Your Dog Outside a Shop

This article was first published on 4knines.com and is reprinted here with permission

Question for you: Would you leave your toddler tied up outside a shop?

Universal answer: “No!”

We’ve read the papers, we’ve heard the news: horrific stories of child abduction and murder. Most parents won’t take their eyes off their children, and with good reason.

Why is your dog different? Do you not care what may befall him?

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all force-free!

There are five big reasons why you should never leave your dog tied up

1. He Can Be Stolen

Sadly, this happens all too often. Dogs can be snaffled from gardens. How much easier to take one who already has a handy lead on? The cuter and more expensive-looking the dog, the more likely this is to happen, though any old pet dog can be taken to be used as bait in dogfights. This doesn’t bear thinking about. This reason alone is enough to make most people reconsider the idea. People say to me, “But I’m only in the shop – I’ll keep an eye on him.” Ok. In that case leave your purse out there on the pavement and keep an eye on it. Uncomfortable about that? Or you may think as you live in a peaceful rural community it’s safe. Guess what? People have cars. Ne’er-do-wells can travel great distances very quickly. In. Out. Dog gone.  

2. Never Tie a Puppy Anywhere

Puppies are accidents waiting to happen. Tie them up on a lead, whether short or long, and you may expect twisted or even broken limbs. Or a throttled puppy. Once a pup gets tangled he can easily panic and get himself into all sorts of trouble. 

 3. You Can’t Defend Him From Inappropriate Approaches

If you’re not there, you can’t protect him. Kindly people may try and smother him with unwanted affection, or feed him inappropriate food. Teens showing off may taunt your defenceless dog. A small child may come and poke or prod him, or wrap themselves around him. Your super-friendly dog will be doing all sorts of things you don’t want – like jumping up on people, mugging their hands or pockets, grabbing their sleeve. Your normally-adjusted or fearful dog, however, is going to be stuck. He has no way to tell them if he doesn’t like these approaches (if they’re behaving this badly they probably know very little about dogs, and nothing about dog body language). He may curl his lip – and get told off into the bargain – he may growl, or… 

4. He May Bite

If he’s tried moving away (impossible because you tied him up), pulling a grumpy face, mumbling, growling, and none of these things has worked to make the person go away and leave him alone, he has only one way left – a snap or bite. If this should happen, you now have two major problems: 

a) Your dog has learnt that snapping or biting gets people away from him, fast. Now he can skip the growling and move to that option sooner in future.

b) The person who started all the trouble is complaining loudly, threatening to sue, threatening to have your dog put down.

And what can you say? You weren’t there. You didn’t see what happened. 

5. It Causes Anxiety

I have never seen a relaxed dog tied up outside a shop. They are always scanning and anxious. They are stuck on a cold, wet pavement, or perhaps a hot pavement with the sun beating down on them. They may be tied to the shopping trolley railing and have to put up with the clattering and banging of trolleys being taken and returned. They are often panting from stress, they are usually staring intently at the shop door, desperate to know where their person – their guardian and protector – has gone. I know enough to keep away from them and leave them in peace, but others think it would be kind to soothe them – or they just haven’t noticed the dog’s distress and think it’s there to provide a bit of doggy entertainment in their day. So the dog is subjected to uninvited greetings, which will interfere with him staring at the last place they saw their owner – piling on the stress.

Each one of these five reasons should be enough on its own to stop you ever thinking of leaving your dog tied outside a shop. If even one of them has given you pause, I hope that you’ll never be persuaded to do this.   

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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Finding a trainer for your Growly Dog

Are you looking for a trainer for your growly, reactive, lunging dog? 

Simple!

Just look in the phone book …

NOOOOOOO!!!

What may appear simple to the man or woman in the street is actually quite complicated and fraught with danger!

In any professional group there will be differences of opinion. We all know that. But in the dog training world the differences are critical! They’re between treating your dog kindly at all times, and being positively nasty to her!

So choosing the wrong trainer for your precious dog can have enormous fallout.

Take Dottie in the story I told last week. She was trying to do her best for her little Toby, but came seriously unstuck and ended up doing bad things she would never have dreamt up on her own.

Sadly, this is a common tale. I hear daily from people who were near despair. Only yesterday I worked with a couple who when I first met them were close to  rehoming their dog as she appeared to have so many problems. No chance of her leaving now - they adore their transformed doglet!

Ute had tried three trainers, while her dog gradually deteriorated. She told me, “the first trainer made things worse by using what I consider force against my will.”

Jennifer sang a similar song when she sought help for her two puppies: “I had a trainer/behaviourist to them at 8 months who threw their leads at them because they barked at her then told me they were nervous and could bite if I didn't do something”

This extraordinary behaviour is clearly a popular technique amongst the old school trainers (they call themselves “balanced” for some weird and unbalanced reason) as Valerie had the exact same experience before she found me: “I am so glad to have found a trainer who can understand my feeling that there is no point in throwing things at an already nervous dog.”

And Stella hit the nail on the head when she recalled that her beautiful chocolate poodle was labelled by a vet and a trainer as “’difficult' or 'feisty’. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy.” Of course it did! If you keep telling a child he’s naughty, that’s exactly what he’ll be.

Even a young puppy can get the short end of the stick: “we had a 1:1 with a dog trainer which left us feeling much worse” said Satya of her 13-week-old pup. Really! Just a baby.

Money?

Buckets of it go into the pockets of these people who claim to have the dog’s interests at heart. See what Marita said:

“Three animal trainers and hundreds of dollars later I found Beverley. I wish I had found her sooner.”

So it’s not about the money! It’s about the success you have - and most importantly for me - the method you use to get there

As Burt Bacharach has it in “Alfie”,

Are we meant to take more than we give

Or are we meant to be kind?

I believe in love, Alfie …

When you walk let your heart lead the way

 Are you letting your heart lead the way? Or are you letting someone bamboozle you out of your beliefs and integrity, and letting them do awful things to your dog?

A Secret Weapon

Thing is … I have a secret weapon.

Most of my students have discovered this - and that’s why they’ve chosen to follow me and study with me!

Elle got it when she told me, “you wear many different hats....dog trainer, people trainer, educator, counsellor, support/outreach, author, etc. etc. etc…’

And Chris put it even more succinctly!

Brilliant Family Dog? More like Brilliant People Trainer

My secret is out!

You need to find a dog trainer who has compassion for both you and your dog. Operating on the dog as if it’s a faulty machine, and ignoring the relationship between dog and owner is doomed to total failure.

So if you’re looking for help for your growly, reactive, lunging dog - or simply for your wild puppy or your dog who seems to be challenging - keep these thoughts in mind when you hunt.

And you may be surprised to learn that you don’t need a local trainer! If the expertise is with someone the other side of the world, that’s where you should be looking. 

 I have finally found sound advice and a trainer - even if you are half a world away.  Joanne

So keep it simple by just staying with me at Brilliant Family Dog! Check out the possibilities now …

The magical connection of your hand-touch

This article first appeared on 2houndsdesign.com and is reprinted here with permission.

Holding hands is our way of showing affection to our loved ones. Our hands should always build trust - you never want to see a child or a pet flinching away from a hand!

I’d like to show you a quick and easy way to instil confidence in your dog - while getting her to fit in with what you want.

It’s the Hand-touch.

And you can use it to ask your dog’s permission to handle her, to put on her harness, to fall in beside you when you’re walking, to teach her tricks, to bring you the thing she’s carrying - once you have the hand-touch in your toolbox you’ll find ever more uses for it!

How to teach it? Oh, so easy!

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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◆   Have a supply of small but tasty treats. Cheese or hot dog are always popular, just pea-sized pieces.

◆   Place a treat in the palm of your hand and hold it out to your dog at her nose-level to eat.

◆   Repeat a few times till she’s keen to engage in this hand-feeding game.

◆   Now, with the same rhythm you’ve just built up over several repetitions, offer her your hand without a treat in.

◆   She’ll smoosh her nose into your hand, look surprised to find nothing, then you instantly give her the treat with your other hand.

◆   No need to say anything much, except the odd “good girl,” or “Yay!”

◆   Repeat several times, till she’s pressing her nose to the palm of your hand, and even holding it there for a moment, before you give the treat.

◆   Keep this light, quick, and FUN!

◆   Once you’ve done a few sessions to consolidate the learning, you can move your hand slowly as your dog touches her nose to it - now you can have her follow your hand!

So how could you use this new hand-touch?

✓   Putting on her harness: Loop your harness over your wrist, offer your hand, and while she’s touching your palm you can drop the harness over her head.

✓   Re-direct her attention: Have her follow your hand to get through a narrow gap without tripping you over, or to guide her away from a clamouring child or a glaring dog when you’re out.

✓   Make contact for reassurance: like sports teamies do, whether they’ve won or lost the point.  

✓   Body-care: Ask for a hand-touch to give you permission to start grooming your dog, or checking her feet. If she doesn’t want it done, she’ll turn away from your hand. Time for you to find out how to make grooming more of a two-way thing, and comfortable!

✓   Follow your hand: Teach the Stand and the Down - just by getting your dog to follow your hand with her nose.

Now, what can you come up with? Post your ideas in the comments below!

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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Why You Should Always Give Your Dog a Choice

This article was first published on 4knines.com and is reprinted here with permission

The young boy in class adored his puppy!

It was a delight to see how proud he was of her, and how attentive he was to everything being taught.

Carl was 10 years old, and animals were clearly his passion. He was more diligent in his practice than many of the adults. And I was particularly impressed with how quickly he grasped this concept:

Don’t beg your dog!

Many of the owners were trying to coax their puppy to pay attention to them. They waved treats in front of their inattentive noses. They bent over and called their name repeatedly. Some even got down on the floor with their puppy in an attempt to get a response.

But young Carl had it licked!

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He listened and followed the guidelines to the letter. He demonstrated to his little pup that he had food, then stood still and waited. He waited for the puppy to decide what to do, and as soon as she made a good choice, she got the treat!

He skipped all the begging, nagging, and cajoling that the others were doing.

Mine is a force-free class – in many other classes people would go further and yank the lead, shout, or poke the dog. Not in my school! Put yourself in the dog’s place – how would you respond to this treatment?

Give your dog a choice

There’s choice – and there’s choice! In Choice Training you give your dog a choice between doing something you like and earning a reward, and … nothing. So you weigh the chances in your favour of your dog choosing to do what you want. There is no punishment, no shouting or prodding – just patience.

“I have a treat – what would you like to do to earn it?”

So your dog will focus on you, maybe stand still, maybe sit, and keep trying things till she hits the spot. You keep the treat right out of the way until you get what you’re waiting for – no waving it about in the dog’s face!

What happens if you “lure” your dog with food is that you give your dog a free choice whether to pay attention or not.

“Come to me and get this treat I’m holding out,”

OR, more often:

“Carry on doing what you’re doing and get the treat afterwards (because I’m desperate to give it to you!)”

You’re saying to your dog: “You choose.”

But you’re not limiting the choices to what you want. It doesn’t take a pup long to figure out that he can have his cake and eat it – he can sniff the floor or stare at the other puppies then come and get the treat. He can give a slow and dawdly sit and still get the proffered reward.

He’ll weigh up his choices – roll in this badger poo now or go and get a piece of kibble . . . hmm, which will I do? Later this will translate to – choosing to run off and chase things rather than choose to get a treat, pulling on leash rather than choose to have a treat. Then we hear “My dog is not interested in food.”

Bribing your dog with food is going to hand the reins to him. Rewarding him for making the choice you want keeps the power with you!

Young Carl inspired the others with his success.

Is your dog ignoring you?

Many of the puppies in that class were choosing to ignore their owners. All the time they were coaxing and calling, the pup knew they were there. There was no need to pay attention.

What Carl had grasped was that staying silent meant his puppy checked in with him very quickly, and earnt her reward. The onus was on the pup to pay attention. And she made the choice we wanted her to make.

Carl’s puppy quickly chose to face him all the time and watch out for clues for how she could earn the next reward. (The other owners got it later – especially when they saw the boy’s success.)

It occurred to me that Carl had also learnt a valuable life lesson. Begging people to do things for you is usually a fruitless endeavour. Inspiring them to act is a much better course.

Hopefully in a few years’ time, Carl will not be begging a girl to go out with him – rather the girls will be chasing him!

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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