Puppy Socialisation in Lockdown

You got yourself a new puppy and you want to be sure you’re doing everything right! And one of the things people tell you is to pay close attention to the mysterious Puppy Socialisation.

And I know from my inbox that some of you are concerned how all this social distancing and lockdown will affect your socialisation program with your puppy or your new rescue dog.

I’m going to take a look at this with you and give you some reassurances that your dog won’t be ruined for the rest of his life!

Right now, it seems we’ve stepped into a movie - of the kind I never like to watch!

We have no idea what’s going to happen next, and we aren’t even sure there’ll be a happily-ever-after, like in the movies.

But you know what?

We never know what’s going to happen next!

We never know what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month - next year.

No idea.

That’s how we are all the time!

It’s just that collectively everyone has this pushed to the front of their mind right now. There’s lots of potential to get stressed, overwhelmed, panicky.

But that’s not going to help you be your best self, your healthiest self. And it sure won’t help your family and . . . your dog!

So how about focussing on NOW and what you can do. Instead of a future which you can’t possibly predict, and what you can’t do?

You can take a leaf out of your dog’s book for this.

He is blissfully unaware of anything different - except that everybody’s now home!

See how he lives in the moment. He is confident that food will arrive at the proper time. That fun and games will happen even if you can’t take him on your normal walks.

He is content to take life as it comes and enjoy the moment. Let’s do that too!

Every cloud has a silver lining

And spend some time thinking about all the plus sides of this lockdown, and whatever social restrictions you’re experiencing.

Now I know this affects people differently - essential workers are still working, and regulations are different in different countries, depending on the strength and focus of our administrations.

But for most people, they’re beginning to enjoy daily living with their loved ones - perhaps for the first time in decades!

• They are spared the nightmare commute to their jobs - which many of them hate!

• They can take a hand in bringing their own children up without a carer or teacher taking their place.

• Employers are finding that relinquishing control and working with their staff from home actually works!

• Some people are learning to cook, some are learning to garden, to enjoy a new form of exercise, to read more, to learn a new skill.

• Many are taking this opportunity to sign up to a course on something they’ve wanted to do for ages - but never had the time.

• And self-employed workers are using their resilience and drive to adapt their services and offerings to a new world.

• And of course, it seems the environment is loving it!

I see the seeds here for huge social change if we can grab this opportunity!

But how will this isolation affect your young puppy?

In general you need to remember the purpose of "socialisation". It's actually a shorthand for “socialisation, familiarisation, and habituation”. That means getting used to absolutely everything they’re going to come across in our world, from carpets to cuckoo clocks, from collars to cars . . . sounds, voices, our body language, their body language . . . and not being bothered by it.

So seeing and meeting other dogs and people are only a part of this.

It’s the whole experience of the puppy’s life which feeds into this. All resulting in a rounded character with loads of GOOD experiences.

Look at the way some unfortunate children grow up. Think of abandoned street children, living from hand to mouth, uncared for, facing plenty of cruelty. They grow up with all manner of problems to work on to try and put their lives right.

These kids meet loads of other people! But unless the experience of meeting each person is a good one, it’s not contributing to a calm and confident child.

The same is true with dogs. The interactions with humans and dogs (horses, sheep, slippery floors, and those cuckoo clocks) need to be GOOD experiences.

There is one well-known trainer who advocates “pass the puppy”. That the puppy should be passed round a large group of strangers, and that this would be good for socialisation.

I would never want to inflict that ordeal on a puppy or a child!

A long time ago I had a collie pup called Tip. She was a naturally retiring dog, though a great worker. I’ll always remember the look on her face when a visitor grabbed this 8-week-old puppy and held her close.

Tip’s eyes were silently pleading “HELP” to me. I now know never to let this kind of thing happen. It certainly was a damaging experience for this sensitive young pup.

So be aware that it is the QUALITY of interactions rather than the QUANTITY which will form a confident outgoing character in your dog, without triggering any fears.

It’s about teaching your pup to accept novelty with curiosity, not fear.

If your family is home with you, they can help by acting differently, walking differently, adopting a different tone of voice.

If you’re alone, you can dress up to "become" new people. You may have safe friends with or without dogs you can meet up with while maintaining distance.

Remember that while dogs can’t contract this virus, they could transfer it on their coat from your hands to someone else. So social distancing for your dog too. Or latex gloves . . .

Puppy choice!

It won’t surprise those of you who know me to hear me say that it’s all about choice!

Your puppy has to CHOOSE to approach a person or dog, not be forced, grabbed, handled without their permission.

You need to do a lot of work providing this rounded experience:

• Puppy handling

• Different sounds

• Different surfaces

• Different locations

• Different weather!

These, along with Puppy Gym and Tricks will all help your pup feel comfortable in her own skin. This is what “socialisation” is really about. Making a confident, capable, curious, dog.

This is all here for you in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy - carefully illustrated with dozens of videos.

And walking in different places, even if you're limited right now, is important - as ever you can carry your pup till he's able to put his feet on the road.

One thing that will need careful attention while you’re at home is teaching him how to cope with your absence without distress. This is hugely important for any puppy - especially now, if you’re isolated. So short absences - even to the next room - must be built in from the start, and gradually extended. 

And what about my older dog?

If you’re unable to leave your home with your older dog, then now is the time to devise new and exciting games to entertain her. Think of scent games, Hide and Seek with the children, or with you. Find the named object out of three. You can bury toys and treats in a box full of smaller boxes, plastic bottles, and other safe objects, for your dog to rummage through.

Leave all those delivery cardboard boxes outside the house for three days to decontaminate, then you can bring them in to hide things in for scent games . . . and this will be part of your Puppy Gym for your young puppy.

Some of you already have a great repertoire of “rainy day fun” games. Do add them in the comments, and share your expertise and ingenuity!

Refresh your Retrieve and see just what a difference it makes in your daily life, when your dog can fetch your shoes, stack the dinner bowls, put her toys away . . .

No retrieve? Get Fetch it! and learn fast. It’s such fun and it will make a massive difference, turning your bored dog into a valuable assistance dog.

Will my dog get fat?

If you’re worried about your older dog getting her usual exercise, think of new ways to get her (and you!) moving.

There’s no need to worry with your puppy. Just bouncing about in the house Is plenty of exercise for a pup.

But for your older dog you’ll have to be inventive! And maybe cut her food back a little to ensure she doesn’t become tubby.

If you have a garden, you can play fetch, chase, and run about till her sides are heaving and her eyes gleaming!

You can make a mini agility course! With bamboo canes and clothes pegs to rest the cross bar on. Just ensure the jumps will collapse safely if your dog hits them. Start very small - just a step over - and slowly raise the jumps a little.

If you can’t get out at all apart from toilet breaks, what can you do inside?

• If you have a treadmill, you can adapt this for your dog. If money is not a problem, buy a special dog one!

• How about carefully going up and down stairs? No jumping steps allowed!

• How about fast hide and seek games, using the whole house?

• Can you use a corridor for recalls and retrieves?

• How about a step for your dog to step up and over?

• Balancing on books or cushions.

• Twisting, turning, going through an old hula hoop . . .

• Tricks! Dance moves!

Youtube is full of ideas - check out the Dancing with Dogs videos from Crufts. You’re sure to find something you can do with your dog and you can be sure too that the training is hard physical and mental work for him - just what you need if you’re restricted.

If you have the whole family at home, this is a time to involve them in your dog’s training. And if you’re alone at home - thank your lucky stars you have such a wonderful companion!

No feelings of isolation for you!

Our dogs can most certainly help us in these tricky times. Know that when we come out the other end, you’ll have used your time so wisely that you’ll have a new and wonderful relationship with your dog.

And don’t worry about him not seeing other dogs! As long as all his experiences are happy ones, where he gets to choose the level of interaction, and he’s experienced lots of different things - he’ll feel confident and ready to explore and accept novelty.

Here are some more ideas for you to work on -
especially within our present limits!

THIS FREE GUIDE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
Privacy Policy

See how calm your dog is?

Look at your dog.

Is he worrying about rampant viruses? Or is he just contentedly being a dog? Is he getting anxious about what just may happen in the future, or is he happy with where he is right now?

We can learn from our pets. For a start we can enjoy their world-view and consequent feelings of normality and continuity.

And we can observe that worrying about things changes nothing!

For more harmony with your dog, get our free email course!

  THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
Privacy Policy

 

Security and safety

We all need a sense of security (as Maslow defined in his Hierarchy of Needs), and the panic and fears being whipped up by some parts of the media and social media are counter-productive!

Continually being in an anxious state lowers your immunity and maintains damaging stress.

Choose one or maybe two news sources that you trust, and check them just once a day. You do not need minute-by-minute reports and all the speculation and catastrophising that goes with them.

When you are talking, ask yourself “Am I making the situation better or worse?” 

We all need a sense of belonging, and isolation measures can make us feel alone and vulnerable.

Self-sufficiency

I’m no epidemiologist, but I have seen isolation work. When the UK slaughtered millions of farm animals in the last Foot and Mouth outbreak, Ireland was barely touched. Because it is largely a rural economy, there was a united effort from the whole country - instantly - to comply with the sweeping measures brought in to prevent the spread of the disease. The result was that only a couple of flocks in one area were affected. Ireland escaped Foot and Mouth virtually unscathed.

Once we have our safety and belonging needs sorted - by reframing them as virtues not calamities - we can look to being the best version of ourselves.

We manifest into our lives the things we most desire and the things we most fear. (This is physics, not woo-woo - ask Einstein …) Where is your focus?

These things will pass! Do what is recommended by your authorities, look at the upside of isolation (there’s always an upside to everything!)

.. and enjoy some quality time with your soothing, carefree, dog.

Your dog is not so soothing and carefree?
Get our free course here to help you change everything!

THIS E-COURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
Privacy Policy

One dog is such fun: now I want two!

“I so enjoy life with you,” says the husband to his wife, “that I’ve decided to get another wife too. You’re going to be such friends!”

Think that will go down well? Well, who knows - there could be occasions where it would. But more often there’s going to be shock and dismay, seething resentment, and possibly worse.

So when you decide that having a dog is such fun that you want to get another, think hard beforehand!

After will be too late.

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and solve them all painlessly!

THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
Privacy Policy

I’ve had a multi-dog household for many years. I’ve seen dogs absolutely delighted with “their” new puppy. They love it and mother it from the start. Marauding dogs in the park had better not get near their baby!

But far more often introductions have had to be slow and low-key.

Always remember that your dog didn’t choose to have a puppy - you did.  

So you must cause as little disruption to your adult dog’s life as possible. (I say “adult” advisedly. Do NOT get another puppy if your puppy is still .. a puppy. More about that here)

From the very start demonstrate to your dog that the puppy takes second place, and is your own responsibility, not his.

That means:

• Solo walks for both pup and dog

• Separate sleeping arrangements, separate crates, maybe separate rooms

• Separate feeding (essential to start with as the pup will be on four meals a day to your older dog’s one)

• Very limited playtime together (two minutes? maybe five?) and always actively supervised

• Special training/cuddle/play times for your older dog when pup is asleep

• Adequate sleep for both

• Zero pestering allowed from pup to adult

I go into more detail on all of this in this post.

If you’re thinking about adding to your doggy family, consider the implications of the list above. You can’t get a new pup and chuck it in with your other dog and expect everything to go well! It is often many months before your adult even accepts the youngster - never mind befriends her.

Don’t underestimate the time this will take!

You’ll need to devote a huge amount of time to this. Constant surveillance, separate walks .. It takes dedication to follow through and do this right.

People are sometimes aggrieved when I shatter their vision of their two dogs endlessly wrestling on the floor, wearing themselves out so that walking them isn’t thought necessary. Are you sure you’re not thinking a little along these lines? That the puppy will exercise and amuse your older dog for you? Are you sure?

But think of the outcome of allowing this. The puppy will learn no self-control, no respect for other dogs. He’ll think that all dogs - and maybe people and children too - are his playthings, for him to rag and chew to his puppy-heart’s content.

The older dog will be driven quietly mad at a time when he may be expecting more calm in his life. This could end up with snarls and trouble.

Two youngsters?

If your older dog is still very young himself, be sure to check out this post and think of the natural result of two young dogs finding everything they need in each other and not in you. As a dog trainer I often have to re-educate such dog-owners and show them how they can turn the situation round. It’s not so easy, once these behaviours are established - but it is possible.

Once you’ve got over the first few months though - and if you do it right - you’ll have two dogs who are firm friends and companions, but who always look to you first. Perfect!

Observing the difference in their individual characters will be endlessly entertaining, walks will be double the fun. Your understanding of your canine friends will deepen, you’ll respect the personal wishes of each dog, and all your lives will be the richer for it.

But it comes at a price. Is this a price you’re willing to pay?

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and solve them all painlessly!

THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
Privacy Policy

My dog gets to enjoy the coffee shop too!

My dog gets to enjoy the coffee shop too!

I am sitting in the window of our local busy coffee shop, in a comfortable armchair, my coffee on the table beside me. Just inside the full-length window, by my feet, lies Lacy on her mat.

We can both relax after our morning outing - me in my armchair, she on her mat watching the world go by without barking at it.

She’s polished off the liver sausage foodtoy I prepared for her. She’s done a couple of tricks for a fingertip of cream from my coffee. She’s watched comings and goings and is now dozing on the mat, her chin resting on my foot.

She’s popular with the staff who are always pleased to see her. It’s a pleasant way for both of us to unwind after our morning’s work.

You may think this is all fairly unremarkable, but you should know that Lacy started out as a very reactive dog - she would get stressed and barky and appear ferocious at any approach, of dogs or people.

Already got a Growly Dog? A reactive, shy, aggressive dog? Watch our free Masterclass and learn new strategies to change your lives for the better!

So getting her to genuinely relax in a public place is an achievement of which I am proud and which we can both enjoy. A lot of what I teach here at Brilliant Family Dog is geared to growing your puppy’s or dog’s confidence and ability to relax. You can train all the sits in the world, but it’s no good if your dog is panting and gasping and pinging off the walls!

Horses for courses

Many dogs are sufficiently “wired” that they need help to learn this skill - especially with the growing popularity of placing working dogs in pet homes. This is a kind of square-peg/round-hole combo which needs careful management to succeed and not drive everyone - owner and dog - barmy.

Lacy has also gone through all the training I do in my premium programs - naturally, it’s one of the perks of being the boss’s dog! And the results have been as spectacular for her as for so many of my students. “I can’t believe how much our life has changed,” is a common cry after even the first Growly Dog lesson.

An awful lot of this has to do with how we act ourselves, and with our expectations: What you expect, you get! Gaining insight into why your dog does what she does is the way to make changes to accommodate her needs with minimum disruption to your daily life. And that’s the focus of the choice-based training I teach.

It’s a question of growing your confidence so you know what to do in any situation. Being able to settle your dog in a public place and flip her off-switch is a valuable skill.

Here’s a great way to get started with this skill

Calm Down! Step-by-Step to a Calm, Relaxed, and Brilliant Family Dog - in ebook, paperback, or audiobook - will help you to locate this hidden switch!

Don’t go without our free e-course to change life with your Growly Dog!

THIS E-COURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
Privacy Policy

We don’t need to CONTROL our dogs

This article first appeared on 2houndsdesign.com and is reprinted here with permission.

Really? No control?? I thought we had to control our dogs?

You’re right, of course! We want plenty of control, but we want our dog to be doing the controlling.

Think how we bring up our children. We teach and show them first, rather than yell at them for breaking rules they didn’t know existed!

Take toothbrushing, for example. First, we clean our toddler’s teeth for them. As soon as they’re capable they start doing it themselves - after a fashion - so by the time their permanent teeth arrive they’ve got into the habit. Then we switch to reminding them: “Did you do your teeth?” Eventually they understand why they need to do it, and we no longer need to even ask them (though they may need to be 24 before they reach this happy state!).

Same with our dogs.

There’s no need to nagnagnag them all the time, yanking on their lead, snapping at them, barking commands, pushing them into a sit or a down. This kind of carry-on simply destroys the relationship you could have with your dog, who just knows that whatever he does is wrong and waits for the inevitable correction and telling-off. And he probably has no idea why.

Switch this round though. TEACH your dog what it is you want, in a kind and loving way - just like your toddler and his toothbrush.

Yes, it will take a little time and patience - there’ll be misunderstandings and mistakes, like the toothpaste all over the floor and the pyjamas - but you’ll get there, together. Accompany your teaching with plentiful little tasty treats and you’ll quickly have your dog’s attention and willingness.

Once you’ve taught your dog what it is you like, there is never again any need to tell him off!

No “Noooooooos,” No “Ah-ahs”. Just “Would you like to walk here beside me?” and from him, “Sure, specially if there’s a piece of hot dog going begging . . .”

I don’t say NO to my own dogs

Don’t believe me? Well, you’re just going to have to suspend your disbelief, and hear me when I say that I don’t say NO to my dogs. I don’t say Ah-ah. I don’t try to guilt them into working for me.

I may say, “Really?” or “Where do you think you should be?”

I’m sad when a puppy-owner proudly says to me, “She knows the meaning of NO.”

“That’s a shame,” I may answer, “My dogs don’t know the meaning of NO because I don’t say it.”

And for a moment - let’s just look at what your dog does understand as “the meaning of NO”.

• It will mean that her owner has suddenly (and unaccountably) got cross with her.

• They’re shouting, possibly even manhandling her.

• And your puppy has NO IDEA what has happened to cause this.

As a result, the puppy may stop whatever he was doing, slink away, flatten himself to the floor, perhaps come to lick you to appease you . . .

But he does not understand what you think he understands when you say NO.

So you may now banish “No” from your interactions with your dog. Treat your companion as you would your family or friends. Life becomes instantly less stressful, and you’ll actually get the control you want!

We don’t need to control our dogs

We need to teach our dogs to control themselves! 

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and solve them all painlessly!

THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
Privacy Policy

Is life good for you and your dog?

Are you where you want to be in life?

Is everything going exactly as you would like?

It’s possible - that if you are dissatisfied with your life in general, you’ll also be dissatisfied with your dog.

They say that “How you do anything is how you do everything” - and this is so true! If you’re prepared to accept second-best in life, then you’ll probably be prepared to accept second-best in your life with your dog. Your dog doesn’t get a say in the matter!

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and learn a completely new approach!

THIS FREE ECOURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
Privacy Policy

And nowhere is this more true than in your approach to problems. Many people see a problem, then accept it as a permanent and enduring truth - thinking it’s all someone else’s fault, or that they never get a break, or that they somehow don’t deserve to have this problem go away.

And the more you focus on the problem, the more that is exactly what you’ll get!

What you focus on is what you get!

One of the things that people find remarkable in my rather idiosyncratic method of dog training is that it’s more about training the owner than training the dog!

Once the owner changes how he sees his dog, and how to work with him - particularly using Choice Training - the dog miraculously transforms, becomes more biddable, more malleable, more responsive.

And a really important first step is to change how you see the world. 

Glass half empty?

If you’re a “glass half empty” type of person, you’ll always be looking for reasons something won’t work. Reasons why you can’t make it work. Reasons why whatever you do, life won’t change for the better. That the world is conspiring against you to keep you where you are.

With regard to your dog, you can find hundreds of reasons things can’t change. Reasons why you don’t have the time, the money, the resources. Reasons why it’s all the fault of your “stubborn” dog.

And as long as you hold those beliefs, you’re going to stay exactly where you are!

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind. Wayne Dyer

Glass half full!

So let’s look at how you can start things improving right away! And let’s look at your life with your dog first.

Your dog is a sentient being. He has likes and dislikes, fears and fancies. Knowing what makes him tick will help you make the most of your time with your chosen companion.

Open yourself up to finding exactly what he likes. It can be food, or a certain type of treat; it can be a game of hide and seek, chase, playing with him with a favourite toy; going out in the garden, heading off for a hike; snuggling up with you on the sofa.

Because once you know exactly what he likes, you know exactly how to get the results you want! There’s no need to try to “control” your dog if you can actually control the things he likes. I believe it was Susan Garrett who coined the phrase - he who controls the rewards, controls the dog.

And it really is that simple. If you are able to produce a fitting reward every time your dog does something you like, you are going to become a magician in his eyes. He will do whatever he can to please you.

How will this help with pulling on the lead, running off, barking at other dogs?

Once you’ve taught him thoroughly how to walk nicely on lead or come when called - by catching him every time he does the smallest thing right and rewarding that choice - your relationship will develop to a level where he will trust you to know what’s right for him. He can even relax at the sight of another dog, because he knows you have his back.

And once you’ve got this going with your dog, how about looking at the rest of your life more kindly? How about seeing that changing things is up to you - you’re not a victim of capricious circumstance!

You can go to the ball, Cinderella! You can enjoy just as much of your life as you are open to enjoying. Switch your focus from “I can’t” to “Yes, I can!”

Want this kind of success for yourself? Here’s a FREE WORKSHOP to get you started!