Leave your dog's past behind

Dogs, as I frequently remind you, live in the present.

It’s now they care about. And they are remarkably able to renew themselves every day.

While we want them to enjoy stability and routine - and that suits us as well! - they are so much more adaptable than many people seem to think.

There is no need to have set hours for rising, exercising, sleeping, eating. As long as these things happen during the day, your dog doesn’t care when they happen.

I’m often told, “My dog has to have his walk at x time or he becomes anxious / difficult / wild …”

But this is just a reflection of what you’ve taught him to expect - and what he’s taught you to comply with! ;-)

As long as your dog gets what he needs, it really doesn’t matter much when he gets it.

An interesting experiment

I’ve run a number of week-long workshops for thousands of owners of reactive dogs. And one thing I found happened with predictable regularity was that when I’d tell them how to make a massive change in their dog’s behaviour, they’d say, “Oh no, I couldn’t do that.”

If this was their response, it showed that their minds were not open. Not as open as their dogs’ minds!

For example, I’d tell them to keep their reactive dog home for three whole days. No walks. (There was a specific scientific reason for this, it wasn’t just a whim on my part.)

And they’d say, “No! My dog will be climbing up the wall! He’ll go mad with too much energy! He’ll never settle without his daily walk.”

Many of these folk were persuaded to give it a try anyway - persuaded by me or by their fellow workshoppers who already knew how well this strategy worked.

And they’d report back a few days later that they were blown away with how calm their previously anxious and agitated dog had become! They couldn’t believe how their dog had accepted this new regime.

They now had a dog calm enough to actually work with! They could now start to use the techniques I went on to teach them, and have a fighting chance of them being effective!

No dog can learn when in a constant hyped-up state - which is what the over-stimulation of worrying walks was giving them.

You see, these kind owners thought they were doing their best for their dog by continuing to do things which were actually making the dog worse!

They were set on their path and it was very hard to budge them off it - despite the fact that after years they were making little or no progress with their dog.

🐾 It was their dog who was able to show them what worked.

🐾 It was their dog who showed herself to be the more adaptable of the two!

🐾 It was their dog who had clearly read and understood these wise words from Yung Pueblo:

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting, it just means we stop carrying the energy of the past into the present.

This is so perceptive, and so true!

We - humans, that is, not dogs - have a way of taking an experience and turning it into an unarguable fact. We set it in concrete. And we use it as a reference for ever more.

“This happened once, therefore it’s the way it will always be.”

No! That happened once. Decide what information and learning you want to take from the experience, and move on!

Your dog may have reacted in a certain way once. It doesn’t mean that’s the only way she can ever react!

She may need our input to show her a better way, but that means that our minds first have to be open to seeing that better way.

Many of the students in From Growly Dog to Confident Dog were despairing of moving forwards - BUT they had the open-mindedness to keep trying to find a way to help their unhappy dog (that’s what a reactive dog without help is - unhappy).

Here are some thoughts from a few of them:

This course has been a revelation. I don’t know where we’d be now if it weren’t for Beverley’s training, I just dread to think. - CR and Lois

The good news is that I can see that Rumpole and I have made loads of progress since starting this programme - we are both more confident. - JS and Rumpole

This past week she has walked past or near several dogs without a bark even though a couple barked at her. She has also said hello to some. I never thought it would be possible - but after 18 months of determination - it's paying off. I'm so glad I didn't give up - although several times have felt like it. The learning and structure of the course and this group has reassured me I'm doing the right thing and kept going - thank you. Keep going guys it really is worth it! - AT and Ginny

I have been in the From Growly Dog to Confident Dog program for just three months and I cannot believe the progress my dogs have made in such a short period of time. Your mission of trying to reach out to every person who wants to help their dog’s life improve is evident in everything you do. - SB, Charlie and Maggie

Want to leave your dog’s history behind and start a new life together? Start with this free Masterclass, and talk to me in the chat. I WILL understand you, and I will respond and help you as best I can.

Starting out with your new puppy

First published on positively.com and reprinted with permission 

You’ve been planning for months, and at last your new puppy is here! Your expectations are enormous: this is going to be the perfect dog you’ve always wanted.

And maybe that’s right, and your little puppy will become your Brilliant Family Dog.

But for many of us - and for many of our puppies - we have to work hard to achieve that perfect dog. Just as you have to work at your career, or your relationship with your partner, to make the best of it, so you have to work with your new puppy to build a powerful bond where you understand each other so well. It won’t all fall into place without a good bit of effort!

Your puppy’s personality

While you can expect a certain type of personality if you choose a particular breed or type, this is by no means guaranteed! Dogs, like us, are individuals.

There are plenty of whippets, for instance, who love nothing better than a rabbit chase, and there are plenty more who will watch the rabbits race past without raising an eyebrow. Some collies will herd anything, down to a blade of grass or a matchstick, while others are not even interested in toy play.

So you can’t necessarily expect the breeding to have done the work for you! You may have to spend quite some time getting your whippet pup interested in chasing, or your collie keen to play.

But if the inborn drives are strong, this is a good thing! Those instinctive drives will be tremendously useful to you as your training progresses. Imagine having the perfect reward you can offer your dog whenever she does something you like! While using treats is a great way to train - all dogs like food: they have to, or they’d starve to death - you should also build in alternative rewards early on.

One of your early tasks will be to figure out just what your new puppy loves best, so that you can use those things as rewards to get the results you want.

How do I get this crazy puppy to do what I want?

And how do you get the results you want, so that you can reward them? It’s pretty simple if you remember a few key points.

1. DOGS DO WHAT WORKS

They have no wish to rule the universe - they do what will bring them what they want. This is where understanding just what it is that they want is vital!

2. REWARD WHAT YOU LIKE

The stress here is on reward. Don’t bribe! Don’t offer food in the hope of getting what you want. The reward should always come after your puppy has done what you want. Sometimes they’ll be surprised, sometimes they’ll be working methodically towards their reward.

3. REWARD THE SMALLEST THING YOU LIKE

What I mean here is that you don’t wait for a perfect, smart, snappy, sit before dishing out your reward. As soon as your puppy makes any move whatever in the direction of a sit (a rear paw may step forward) you reward that tiny movement. Gradually, as understanding grows, you’ll be able to reward the whole smart, snappy, sit. But don’t hold out for that at the start, or your puppy will have no idea what you want and give up!

4. ALL-DAY TRAINING

No need to have ring-fenced “training sessions” where you go on and on at your puppy till he’s bored senseless. Training is something that happens all the time, at any time, spontaneously. We don’t line up our children in the morning and run through their shoulds and shouldn’ts for the whole day! We just chip in as the day goes by, teaching them at appropriate moments. So your puppy learning to wait at the door happens because we never open the door till the pup is still - or even better, sitting. It takes an extra second or two each time, and the reward? A treat? Nope - opening that door to let the pup fly out to the garden with you!

Your Action Step for today: get yourself a suitable lead that will work *for* you, not against you! This needs to be 6-8 feet in length, and soft and comfortable in your hands. To help you get the right walking gear for your puppy you can download a free guide here. 

It’s more about attitude than technique

So while a lot of your “training” will happen spontaneously, tiny bits at a time, there’s still a place for more formal methods - especially for the vital recall and for comfortably walking next to you on the lead. There are plenty of tricks of the trade which will help you immeasurably. And this is where going to a force-free puppy class will be an excellent experience for you and your puppy - where you’ll meet other people and dogs in a controlled and calm environment where your puppy’s individual character will be recognized and nurtured.

But some of you will be in a force-free desert where it’s impossible to find a suitable class which you’d take a dog flea to, never mind a dog. Never fear!

Take a look at the Brilliant Family Dog Academy which will teach you everything students at my “live” puppy classes learn, only at your own pace and in your own home. You’ll be given careful guidance on how to manage the vital socialisation for your puppy, as well as techniques to give you a confident dog who is happy to fit in with you and do what you want. And you’ll get massive support from your fellow students, who will understand just what you’re up against in your little pup!

Meanwhile, the most important thing to do with your puppy is to carry him everywhere with you and - enjoy him!

Want a bible to help you through this stage?

Go to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/new-puppy book page and get New Puppy! in ebook, audiobook, or paperback.

Is your dog or your little puppy throwing up more challenges than you anticipated? Watch our free Workshop and find how to change things fast!

Dog-Walk away your woes!

We are special people!

We have been given a tremendous gift!

We have a DOG!

It can be easy to let your life woes overcome the beauty of your relationship with your dog. So easy to worry about shopping lists, difficult partners, the weather, the world … possibly even worrying about your dog’s behaviour.

But the greatest thing you can do for yourself and for your dog, is to take a leaf out of his book, and live in the present!

Meeting trouble halfway

We have a tendency to worry ourselves into a spiral - a seriously downward one!

We either dwell in the past, worrying over what’s happened, or lurch into an uncertain future where everything seems to go wrong.

What’s past is over and done with, and can’t be changed - however much you worry over it.

And what’s to come is completely out of our control!

All we can do is deal with the present - as it happens. Just as your dog does.

Headaches

We also have a tendency to crave a quick fix.

Whether that’s a quick fix for our difficult dog or a quick fix for a real or a figurative headache.

As far as the dog is concerned, there are few quick fixes, except those promised by people who espouse methods I wouldn’t use on an earwig, never mind a sentient, affectionate, being, like a child or a dog or a partner!

Change in your dog’s behaviour is effected by slowly building the bond between you by removing blame and punishment from your existence. I’m not suggesting you beat your dog! You wouldn’t have got this far down this page if you did.

But just misunderstanding someone can be punishing - it suppresses the response you’d like. This is where those cries of “My dog is stubborn!” come from. A total misunderstanding of how to relate to a creature from another species without shouting, blaming, attempting to control him.

So, know that huge changes can be made in how your dog behaves - whether running off, or barking at other dogs - once you change yourself!

And as for that headache, grab the lead and take your dog for a quick 10 minutes round the block. (Dog too reactive to walk near you? Bundle him into the car and whiz off to somewhere quiet and empty.)

Enjoy a few moments with your dog. Enjoy his enjoyment. Relax and clear your head.

Don’t be worrying about what to say to your boss; how you can make the housekeeping last till the end of the week; how you can get your project finished …

Enjoy this oasis of calm with your ever-present dog. Follow his lead and explore the sights (while he explores the smells!) of your surroundings. Enjoy the soft rain on your face, the wind in your hair, the butterflies and the birds.

What’s quicker for resolving those headaches? This method or headache pills?

 

FOOTNOTE: If walks are difficult for you

Are you finding dogwalks uncomfortable because your dog wants to pull you hither and yon - possibly landing you on your face? This would certainly make it hard to enjoy your dog’s company when out!

So get Let's Go!: Enjoy Companionable Walks with your Brilliant Family Dog and change your dog walks for the better - fast!

If you like listening, you can get the audiobook direct from the author and listen while you walk and train!

5* review at Amazon

This is a great little guide to hassle-free walks with your dog. I have a lovely but enthusiastic cockapoo who was taking me for a walk rather than the other way around. She was constantly pulling on her lead and it had become a real worry. Thanks to the exercises and advice in this book, she is now walking by my side, rather than constantly trying to be in front of me and walks are a lot more enjoyable. I would definitely recommend this book.

Puppy Crate training demystified

I wish I'd known this trick for my first few dogs! Crate training is the answer to caring for a new puppy. It keeps him out of harm’s way – from overexcited children, older dogs, clumsy feet, jealous cat, car wheels – and all the hazards a tiny puppy can meet. 

And then, when you're ready to give him your attention, out he comes: to play, interact with children and other household pets, to eat, and – Importantly! – to relieve himself.

Chewing, too …

Crate training is the answer to unwanted puppy chewing too. If you leave him in his crate when you go out, then the only thing he can chew are his bones and chew-toys, so when you come back there can be a blissful reunion unmarred by the horrors of discovering your dining room table with a gnawed leg, the computer cables chewed right through, or your favourite jumper loved to death.

To acclimatise your pup to his crate is simple: just bring him home and put him in it! He’s a baby, he’ll fit in with what you want, don’t worry. The less fuss you make about this the easier it is.

Teaching an older dog to enjoy his crate takes a little more time, but if you encourage him slowly and gradually with treats, feed all his meals there (without at first shutting the door on him) he will soon cheerfully go there of his own accord, knowing this is his own den.

I would choose a wire crate that will fit your puppy for the next six months to a year. You don’t want something massive. The smaller the crate the easier it’ll be to manoeuvre. The best crates are lightweight tough mesh with a metal pan. They fold up for transporting - really useful for travel - and are very easy to clean.

You can get crates tailor-made for your car too. This is essential for transporting your puppy safely – and legally. A dog loose in the car is considered “an unsecured load” and can cause much damage to other occupants of the car (as well as himself) in the event of an accident. And a secure and comfy cage means there is never a danger of your dog jumping out of the car onto a busy road.

Make it cosy

I line the base of the house crate with newspaper or a blanket, and fill the whole crate with comfy machine washable bedding.  And if you have a tunnelling, thin-coated dog like a Whippet, she’ll think she’s in a cold prison cell if you don’t provide plenty of cuddly bedding!

A puppy who has come from a conscientious breeder will be unlikely to soil his bedding. See this video of very young puppies learning to eliminate away from their sleeping area:

Position the crate in a corner of the room, so the puppy is sheltered on two sides – from drafts as well as traffic – but he'll be able to see everything that goes on, so he’ll feel secure and included when you need to set about your chores. However, most of his time in the crate he’ll be asleep, so being able to close the door on the room with the crate in is very useful to ensure the correct amount of sleep.

To begin with a young pup will spend all his sleeping time in the crate. If he's happy there during the day, there's a good chance he’ll be happy there overnight. He may need to relieve himself once during the night to start with, so get up and take him outside on a lead – no playtime – and then pop him back into bed again. Get my Cheatsheet for Errorless Housetraining and focus on what you have to do to make this fast and easy. You’ll be surprised how quickly it will work for you!

At night, have the crate in your bedroom, maybe partly covered with a blanket for warmth and cosiness. Your puppy is much more like to settle quietly if he doesn't feel abandoned.

Of course you'll be taking him out on the lead to the garden during the day - every time he wakes, after each meal, after an active play session, and at least once an hour. Never scold him for doing it in the wrong place – regard it as a management problem and resolve to be more proactive next time. Before long you can add your vocal cue – you could say "hurry up" or "busy" or "be clean" or whatever you like (that you don't mind saying out loud in public for the next 12 years!).

The natural method

As this method of crate training is totally without pressure – simply building on the dog’s natural desire to keep his nest clean – you can start very young. In fact I had my very quickest housetraining results with a pup I had from four weeks (his mother was sick). By the age of six weeks this little puppy was clean and dry by night. Not long after that he would go outside and relieve himself on cue.

I would expect a puppy normally to be reliable between nine and fourteen weeks. The smaller the dog the longer it may take, though not necessarily - it’s really up to you! The beauty of crate training is that it does the work for you.

An added advantage of early crate training

At some stage in his life your dog may need surgery or confinement after an injury. Imagine the stress of trying to introduce him to a crate at this time! On top of that, he’ll go easily into the crate at the vets, thereby minimising stress.

It’s so useful to be able to park the dog contentedly in his crate when he comes home from an operation. He’ll feel secure from being trodden on and can switch off and relax, and concentrate on getting better.

But is crate training cruel?

I have found people may have misgivings about using a crate for a puppy at first – but these fears are usually dispelled when they find out what crate training is actually about.

We're not talking about shutting a puppy away and neglecting him – far from it! Crate training gives you the chance to build a great relationship with your puppy very quickly. After all you never need to tell him off for anything!

What better way to start off a lifelong partnership?

Check out New Puppy! the only puppy book you will need to get you step-by-step through the early weeks!

Check other post that might help your brilliant dogs:

I have a new puppy: will I ever get any sleep again?

How much time does your dog spend sleeping?

How much does your dog sleep?

I love my dog AND I love my sleep!

Errorless Housetraining and Crate Training

Dogs emerging from Lockdown!

Whoopee!  

Many of us are emerging from Lockdown. (In the UK our four-month lockdown is gradually lifting, a little bit at a time.)

With blinking eyes and pale skin, we creep out into the world again ..

Well, that’s some of us. Many of us have been out and about with our dogs every day, enjoying the sun and fresh air.

Your reaction to coming out of Lockdown varies according to your personality.

▪ Introverts have hugely enjoyed the past year. At last! Peace and quiet! No obligation to party or chat! Working in their own private corner of home!

▪ Extroverts have been driven up the wall by the solitude. They are the ones who were out in small groups at 00.01 on the day things started to relax. They can’t wait to get back to the workplace, and want to party as the day is long.  

Well, dogs are different too

Here’s where to get ideas on what Socialisation really means

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Just like us, dogs can enjoy company and activity .. or not.

Just like us, dogs can welcome solitude .. or pine for company.

And just like us, dogs can get used to how their life runs, and any change can be greeted with suspicion.

So if you are now spending time visiting friends, having friends over, (small) parties outdoors, shopping, visiting the pub or cafe garden, your outgoing, easygoing dog may be delighted to accompany you.

But spare a thought for your less easygoing dog! For nearly a year of his short life (that may be all of his life to date!) there have been restrictions and limitations.

Suddenly going to the other extreme and having lots of social interaction can be a violent shock to his system.

Back to Puppy Socialisation

Take a leaf out of your puppy-rearing diary. Approach this as a new socialisation program.

While true “socialisation” can only take place in the first 15 weeks of the dog’s life (it’s to do with how their brain is constructed), it’s become a catch-all expression for exploring our world. And that can, of course, happen at any age.

But while exposing your dog to novelty is an important part of this, with the dog over 15 weeks of age, you have to habituate gradually to these new things.

So introduce him, on lead, to a couple of friends for a few minutes, then perhaps put him away again. Let him process that experience before trying it again.

Don’t wait till he’s reacted - either by going bonkers and scatty and jumping all over everyone, or by getting upset and afraid and barking ferociously.

Take a drip-drip approach to emerging from Lockdown, and like with everything else with our dog, the slow route is usually the most effective!

And for hints for how to entertain your dog as you gradually change your ways, watch this video on how to involve your dog in activities with social restrictions, especially if you’re still locked down.

Appreciate your dog!

.. and appreciate those who want to help you! 

I spend most of my time encouraging and teaching folk to appreciate their dog, their difficult barking and lunging dog, their frustrating new puppy.

And despite giving a lot of my time, energy, expertise, and resources free of charge, there are always the naysayers! People who’d rather scoff than learn, people whose minds are closed - but sadly not their mouths!

It’s so easy to condemn and badmouth. It’s so easy to flip out a clever but thoughtless reply. Often this is done as a knee-jerk response to what they see as a challenge to their own competence. But no-one is born knowing how to understand and train a dog! No-one is blaming them for their lack of knowledge! The trick is to keep our mind open and accept help in the spirit in which it is offered.

This goes for how you treat your dog as well as yourself and everyone around you.

Blaming the dog for your own shortcomings is not going to move you both forward! A casual remark that your dog never listens, is stupid, is difficult, can become a self-fulfilling prophecy! I know this, because, dear reader, this was once me (l-o-o-o-ng time ago . . .).

Because I now put myself out there in the firing line, I get a lot of this criticism and backchat.

But I know that these remarks usually say more about the speaker than about me! I’m sorry that they’re not going to take advantage of what I can offer their dog. But, as the saying goes - you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink!

There are plenty who WANT to learn!

So today I thought I would celebrate all the LOVELY people who follow me and appreciate me. You never get to see these comments because they’re sent direct to me. So I’m going to bask in the pleasure of printing them 😊.

Hopefully, if you’ve been reading the negative stuff, you’ll see the other side of the picture.

And if you’re one of my “fans”, know that I LOVE hearing from you, and your enthusiasm and appreciation enable me to keep doing what I do.

“We are all reading and enjoying a real live person who clearly loves dogs also. Your empathy with all dogs is clear to see. “ - LK

“Yay! Our walks are SO much more enjoyable for us both. Abby is so much calmer and less reactive. I’m quite excited that we’re both learning to be a better team!.”  - NS, GDCD student*

“I loved your course and have shared the info with many. Our dog continues to amaze us and our friends.”  - SS, BfDA student**

“First thing I must tell you, I love reading your emails. It’s like being with family.” - CH

“Beverley's course is such a help. We've only been doing it a short while but it's made such a difference to our Tallie both indoors and out.” - LB, BfDA student**

“I spoke to you a while back when we struggled to get her to go for a walk with only one of us! Your advice worked and Jenny is now very keen to go for a walk solo! She has become quite the outdoor dog.” - SF

“Thank you! I’m glad to have a place where I don’t feel like I’m the only one who has a reactive dog and where others understand the struggles we’re all going through.” - ZB, GDCD student*

“Rather than bring the family together, she had started to tear us apart, getting more difficult and rebellious. With just one day of using your methods, we are already seeing a happier dog, wanting to come to me and to listen. Thank you so much Beverley, Im looking forward now to the next few weeks with positive, fun learning and the outcome for a happy family dog.” - TD

“Her focus has gone from not great to amazing. Mostly she is calm and well settled. “ - CH, BfDA student**

“Thank you so much for all your hard work. You are valued and appreciated very much by everyone here.” - CF

“I just wanted to say, I joined because in the one hour free Workshop you gave, you talked about her name being precious - it was like you were there in my front room! In just one day she's responding much better. I figured, well if one free workshop can achieve that quick change, the full program has got to be so worth it! Just to compare the prices, when we first got Alina, we had a 50 minute session with a local trainer - it cost us £80. She wanted us to go back for regular weekly sessions, but that was out of our price range. So for less than the cost of 2 sessions with the trainer, the offer of a lifetime’s support and all the workshops and modules seemed such good value.” - GO, BfDA student**

“Thank you for your books, they have given me a feeling of hope for the future.” - SH

“Your courses and advice have already in this short space of time changed my behaviour and in turn Harp's behaviour. It helps of course also that as you have mentioned many times that we should have the same respect and courtesy for our dogs as we would any other member of our family. That's something Harp and I have been working better at.“ - TH

“You have been at our side since our Maxwell (cocker spaniel) was 8 weeks old, and he's now 9 months, and gorgeous.” - PB, BfDA student**

* GDCD student is a person enrolled in the From Growly Dog to Confident online program.

** BfDA student is a person enrolled in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy online program.

Want to find out what they’re getting?

Watch our free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

And here’s our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN!