Is Don’t-based Training Still Prevailing with Dogs as well as Children?

This article was first published at Medium.com

Dogs are at their most creative, and learn best, during play.

The scientists have proved this beyond a shadow of a doubt. The case is closed. And that’s why you’ll find that more and more organisations who work with dogs are switching from aversive methods of training to play-based methods, in the teeth of tv personalities with outdated ideas.

Guide Dogs, Search and Rescue dogs, Seizure Alert dogs, Hearing dogs for the deaf, Assistance dogs, performance dogs in Agility, Flyball, Dancing dogs, have for quite some time been trained to do their remarkable work as part of a big game.

Now even some enlightened police dog trainers — an area where dark training traditionally took place — are joining in and teaching through Do-based training instead of Don’t-based training.

You always used to hear police dog trainers say things like, “My life is on the line — I need my dog to be bombproof,” to excuse the harsh methods often employed. Now they’re realising that their dog’s response is not just as good as previously, it’s sharper, faster, more enthusiastic, just plain better.

And who wouldn’t prefer to work through fun and games rather than bullying and punishment?

Dogs are simple and uncomplicated creatures who do what works. If jumping through hoops, figuratively speaking, is fun, and they get a great reward for doing it, and — critically — they have a choice whether to do it or not, you’ll get ready and willing compliance, with sparkling performance.

Great news for dogs! But how are children faring?

What about our Children?

So why are so many people stuck in the Dark Ages when it comes to dealing with their children?

There are, of course, plenty of educational establishments and organisations who pioneer fun methods of learning. There are schools which are beacons for the latest in learning theory.

I’m thinking more about what I see on the street, in the shops, in the park.

Many parents are still stuck in adversarial training. They lead with their chin. Everything becomes an issue. They lose sight of what they want to achieve and focus on what they take to be their child’s resistance. It’s a kind of old-fashioned manager vs employee approach — which is doomed to failure. Any small successes are hard-won and grudgingly ceded by the resentful subject.

Unless people are educated into understanding how to get the best results from people, from children, from dogs, they tend to default to the parade-ground style of barking commands and expecting instant, mindless, compliance. They can treat their nearest and dearest, as well as their pets, in ways they wouldn’t dream of treating a visitor!

Imagine saying to your house-guest: “Take a seat. Sit down. Sit! SIT! Get in that chair now!” Of course you wouldn’t do that.

But how many times do you hear similar things being barked at children, most usually expressed in the negative: Don’t, Stop, Cut it out, Put it down, Leave it alone, Not another word, Don’t touch.

No attempt is made to direct the child to what you actually want him to do!

Back to Dogs again

And this is exactly what people tend to do with their dogs. Their sweet new puppy, who just loves life, is seen as The Opposition. He must be contained, prevented, controlled, stopped.

And when this inevitably doesn’t work, the second-to-last resort is surgical intervention, in the totally mistaken belief that this will somehow render their dog acquiescent and malleable.

The last resort is, of course, off-loading the troublesome hound to the nearest shelter.

Who’s Watching?

A lot of this is a result of social pressure. The shouter feels the need to appear in charge — of his flock, his family, his employees, his dog.

Forgetting that anyone else is watching, and just focussing on the interaction between you and your child or dog - all the time keeping your eyes on what outcome you are actually looking for - can do wonders to the relationship.

The scientists are beavering away to prove, over and over again, how choice-based training gets the quickest results. Let’s listen to them and apply it in our own personal laboratory.

Let’s collectively move from “Don’t” to “Do”.

Is your dog or your little puppy throwing up more challenges than you anticipated? Watch our free Workshop and find how to change things fast!

Celebrate your Dog while you still have her

This article was first published at Medium.com

Many people are shattered by the loss of their dog. People reveal the depth of their feelings and their desolation at the sudden absence of their friend. The strength of these feelings can come as a bit of a surprise.

Our dogs creep up on us. Too late we realise how far they have tunnelled into our lives, our beds, our hearts, our souls.

As with any loss there can be feelings of regret: all those times I was too lazy to play with her; when she made do with scraps because I’d forgotten to prepare her food; when she missed out on a walk because it was raining; when I came home exhausted from my fulfilling day to my lonely dog — and then was too tired to give her a little of my time.

Let’s see how we can change this, with a truer understanding of how our dogs’ minds work! Get our free email course here.

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Your dog commits totally to you. And in return we can take her for granted.

But She’s Just a Dog

I think that we often underestimate our dog’s intelligence and ability to reason. It’s very easy to bark commands at her and expect her to know what on earth it is that we want.

But how often are our expectations of what we want her to do unmatched by time spent on teaching her those things? We expect her to arrive with human-world behaviour installed, or to learn it by osmosis.

How unfair we can be!

It’s a truism that a trained dog is a happy dog. But it’s also the case that an untrained dog is a very confused dog.

How hard it can be for our dogs to continually try to guess what will please us; guess what will annoy or frustrate us and cause our displeasure — which hurts them so much!

She doesn’t have the whole world to love — she just has you.

I insure against some of the pain of the loss of a dog by having plenty of them! I usually have three or four and am always planning the next puppy. If I could have only one dog, I’d be thinking ahead to the next one. I couldn’t live without that joy and beauty in the household for long.

And the more dogs who spend their lives with me, the more I can see how totally individual and different they are.

Your Dog is a Teacher as well as a Learner

We can teach our happy-go-lucky, outgoing, everybody’s-my-friend dog some calmness and moderation, and we can encourage our shy, diffident dog to venture forth and gain confidence, but the dog’s character will remain.

Through years of living with several dogs at a time, my takeaways are:

• Your appearance does not matter. Sometimes it’s puzzling if someone takes against you because of the colour of your hair or the length of your nose. But that’s their problem. Your dog is not going to change his hair colour for anyone. Neither should you.

• Other people’s opinion is not of much interest. If you want to roll in the muck and they don’t understand, that’s their loss. Be proud of who you are.

• Take every opportunity to rest and regroup.

• If someone encroaches on your personal or psychological space, just move away. Dogs are in the main all for a quiet life.

• Enjoy every moment and live in the present. It doesn’t matter if you’re cold and wet later — leap in the pond now!

• Never tire of telling your special people that you love them.

They don’t live long enough — that’s for sure!

Yet they give so much.

Let’s give our dogs our time and attention now, in the few short years they’re with us. If we build our relationship to the fullest, we won’t be astonished by the gap they leave when they die, nor be filled with regrets at having failed them.

Is your dog throwing up more challenges than you anticipated? Watch our free Masterclass and find how to change things fast!

 

Rearing a puppy to be confident

How can I rear my puppy to like other dogs when we’re locked down and social distancing?

A lot of people are asking this, and I absolutely understand where they’re coming from with this question!

For years we have been told that unless your puppy meets other dogs, in quantity, before the age of 15 weeks, you are doomed to a lifetime of reactivity and aggression.

Like all bowdlerisations, this one is liable to serious misinterpretation.

In fact, what we are actually told is that we have to acclimatise our puppy to everything he’s likely to meet in everyday life by the age of 15 weeks.

That is very different!

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Misinterpretation, mishearing, misunderstanding …

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing

Picking up a little of the message without understanding the reasoning behind it is the problem here.

And sadly it can actually be the CAUSE of reactivity problems later on!

The exact opposite of what the hapless owner intended!

The way forward

So what should the new puppy-owner be doing, especially in this difficult time?

If you follow the actual advice from the scientists, to introduce novelty into your puppy’s life so that he enjoys the experience, you’ll see that this novelty will include other dogs, and an awful lot more besides!

The idea of dropping a young puppy into the middle of a mass of dogs - some madly excited, some terrified - is awful! And it’s at the centre of many puppy classes run by inexperienced tutors.

To help you understand exactly what your puppy is telling you, do research Dog Body Language. There are some resources listed at the foot of this article to help you - and your children! - learn what your new pet is saying. It really may not be what you think.

I teach Choice Training

That is to say, my dogs always have a choice in what they do.

Nothing builds confidence more than having your wishes respected, your opinions considered, your decisions honoured.

And never is this more important than in meeting other creatures, be they two- or four-legged.

Naturally, the safety of the other party always has to be considered! So if your puppy is meeting a shy dog, a cat or bird, or a baby, for the first time, restraint on harness and lead is essential, or else the “victim” should be safely protected in a crate or cage or playpen.

That said, allow your puppy a choice.

Don’t shove him forward to meet people or dogs - let him move forward at his own pace and manner. Let him make the decision whether to progress or hide behind you. Either way he is expressing his feelings. And allowing those feelings is what will develop confidence.

• Confidence that you will honour his feelings

• Trust that you will protect him

And this will build his ability to cope with new things, whether a helicopter overhead, a dragonfly buzzing around his head, a child banging a bucket, a dog barking . . .

This is what is meant by exposing your puppy to novelty!

Not throwing him into a situation he cannot manage, when the only thing he’ll learn is fear.

Older dogs

The exact same applies for handling “socialisation” for your older dog. Technically you can’t “socialise” a dog over the age of 15 weeks. But you can still introduce him to novelty, in a gradual and structured way, so that his confidence builds - just the same as with your puppy

Already got a Growly Dog? A reactive, shy, aggressive dog? Watch our free Masterclass and learn new strategies to change your lives for the better!

RESOURCES

Socialisation in Lockdown

Puppies and Dogs

Dog Body Language

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00_9JPltXHI

Dog Body Language

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bstvG_SUzMo  

Is my dog a reflection of me?

When we first visualise adding a dog to our lives, we conjure up an image, an impression, of what life will be like. 

You may have been looking at this project being super-rational, coldly calculating, rigidly sensible … until this image washed over you -

• of striding across a rugged landscape with your trusty friend at your heels.

• Or perhaps it was sitting knitting in front of an open fire, with your little fluffy pet on your lap.

• It could be that you saw yourself racing round an agility ring with your perfect pooch flying over the jumps to much applause.

• Or maybe you had an image of your friendly dog playing endlessly with the children, and the children’s friends, and their cousins, and their dogs.

Whatever it was you imagined, this dog was destined to enhance your life, to show off your natural talents as - an outdoorsy type, a homely comfortmaker, a sporty competitor, or the quintessential earth mother.

This is all great and wonderful, and for some of us that will have come true. 

We choose to have a dog to enrich our lives

But as any parent will know, once the much-anticipated creature (whether baby or puppy) arrives, it’s a different story! This little person has her own character, her own history, and her own opinions. Shaping a baby to become the kind of adult we’d like takes us twenty years (“Only twenty?” I hear you cry!). Fortunately it’s a lot quicker with a dog. 

I’d expect my pup to arrive at the kind of dog I’m aiming for by the age of about three or four. Up to then you’re in teaching mode. 

It is a truism that your dog’s behaviour is a direct reflection of your training.

With dogs it’s very much a case of you get out what you put in. And to get the best from your dog you need to be open to his suggestions of what works for him. To have harmony in the home, with a pet who knows his boundaries, you’ll be investing plenty of time in early training.

Don’t wait till things are going wrong! By the time your puppy is adolescent (around 6-9 months) and running wild, it is too late. That is a common age for dogs to be given up for rehoming. It’s the dog’s behaviour that will dictate how he fits in with his family - and ultimately whether he lives or dies. Many more dogs die because of poor training (failure to recall near a road, apparently aggressive behaviour because of lack of early socialisation, boisterousness, impetuousness) than from the illnesses that people are so afraid of.

Spending time and effort on vaccinations is pointless if you don’t put the same care into your training program!

Fortunately it’s becoming increasingly easier to find a force-free trainer to help you start your new dog the right way. Look for one who belongs to the APDT (UK), or the Karen Pryor Academy, and who has credentials you can look up and study. Avoid anyone who talks of “Pack Theory” “Dominance” “Keeping your dog in his place” and, of course, anyone who uses nasty equipment. If you wouldn’t use it on your small child, then no-one should have it near your dog.

Happily ever after

This will all pay off when your dog is mature, confident, knows exactly what goes down well with his family and what is best avoided. 

By then, you’ll have found out what you really want in your partnership. You can discard the glossy magazine images that paraded before you when you were planning your dog’s arrival, and factor in your dog’s character, your own character, and the nitty-gritty of daily life. 

Maybe you do go for those bracing hill walks; maybe you’re becoming an agility star; perhaps your dog is your rock and support; maybe she’s the perfect family dog.

But maybe not.

• Maybe she got an injury which precluded her from being a performance dog.

• Maybe she’s made it clear she’d far rather curl up and sleep than tramp across the moors.

• Maybe she’ s had enough of noisy children and prefers peace and quiet - that’s her choice.

And you work with the dog you have, to ensure that she has the happiest life possible. So you may have to put your hopes and plans on the back burner and give this dog a life that suits her. 

How often do you see a child from a sporty family end up as a musician, or an accountant? How about the academic family who are frustrated because their children become hippies or horse trainers?

Our dogs, like our children, are individuals. We can nurture their talents and rejoice in their creativity. The only reflection of us we need to see in our dog is the love in those big brown eyes. The rest is an adventure.

RESOURCES:

Fix everyday dog problems fast - free email course

APDT(UK)

KPA

VSPDT

IMDT

CBATI

PPG

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