Pandemic Puppy home alone

I wrote recently about all the new dog-owners who grabbed the opportunity of working from home and got themselves a puppy in this post, and I’m revisiting it because of all the questions I’m getting about it. 

People are often confused about “socialisation”, and now they’re more confused than ever!

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• Socialisation is NOT shoving your puppy in the face of every dog you see!

• Socialisation is NOT a question of packing as many strange new things into one outing as possible.

• And Socialisation is definitely NOT only about dogs!

Socialisation

Socialisation - to give it its full handle: Socialisation, Familiarisation, and Habituation - is about getting our new dog or puppy used to our world.

Getting your new puppy out into the world - to experience lorries, shouting, rain - as soon as you can, is vital. Don’t wait for injections to be done - that’s way too late! You can carry him for “arm-walks” as one of my students calls them. If your pup is too heavy for you to carry, you can borrow a push-chair, or you can park your car somewhere and sit in the boot with him beside you, watching the world go by.

Socialisation includes other dogs, sure - but it also includes lots of things people don’t tend to think about . . . until there’s a problem.

Vacuum cleaner, dropped saucepans, tv images, children, babies screaming, electronic sounds, snow, sand, wobbly planks, stairs, grooming, nail-trimming, food-toys - all these are essential parts of what your puppy has to get used to.

Separation Anxiety

And another important part of socialisation is teaching him to be on his own. It’s understandable that the enthusiastic new puppy-owner wants to spend every moment with her new charge. But this is not helping the puppy!

Just like humans, dogs need to learn to enjoy their own company. Safely! So an important part of this is to have a safe place (a crate is ideal) where you can leave your pup without worrying he’s going to chew an electric wire and kill himself, or pee all over the carpet.

Start with short absences from the room when the dog is awake. Don’t make a song and dance when you return - keep it cool and matter-of-fact. Your new puppy will be sleeping in his crate more than anything else, so it’s easy to introduce these brief exits from his space.

These short absences will demonstrate to your puppy that you will always come back. If you time them carefully when he’s been fed, watered, played with, and wee-ed, he’ll be ready for another nap anyway.

A bit of complaining is natural. What is termed Separation Anxiety is when the dog becomes desperate, ripping doorframes, losing bowel control . . . Don’t confuse this with your puppy saying, “Hoi! Get me outa here!”

Having a routine is very helpful for your new dog to understand what’s going on. That doesn’t mean rigidly sticking to clock times. It means having sequences so that each thing predicts the next step. The last step will be into bed, and you leaving.  

Nighttime routine

Oh, and to begin with, I always have a new puppy sleeping in his crate right beside my bed. You can forestall any fears by being there when your pup stirs in the night. A few soothing sounds and a touch from you will send him straight back to sleep again.

If you want, you can transfer your dog and bed to another space once you have regular blissfully quiet nights!

Full-blown separation anxiety is not that common, in my experience. And it can easily be avoided by taking these early steps to give your dog confidence in you.

And for lots of ideas to change all those things you don’t want from your dog - like jumping up, barking at the window, and chewing everything (including you) - get our free ecourse here

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MY DOG CAN’T KEEP STILL – HE’S WILD ALL THE TIME!

First published on positively.com and reprinted here with permission

“He’s always leaping about like a mad thing,” Jan said, as her large young labrador Jimmy thudded her in the stomach with his paws and jumped to try and nip her nose. Jan dodged her face just out of his reach, so he resigned himself to scraping her arm and chewing her cuff. She squawked, waved her hands about, pushed and pulled, shouted . . .

As I asked, “Have you tried teaching him to keep his feet on the floor instead of saying No?” the bouncy lab spotted a new victim for his attentions, leapt to the end of the leash and started giving me the paws-in-the-stomach, nose-nipping, arm-scrabbling, cuff-chewing treatment. I stepped back - but the owner stepped forward and gave her dog more lead so he could continue molesting me! It was as if she wanted to demonstrate thoroughly how awful her dog’s behaviour was.

Check it here!

I took the pup gently by the collar and lowered him to standing. He tried to grab my wrist for a while, then gave up. He was panting heavily (it was not hot), his face taut and lined.

This dog was not just enthusiastic - he was stressed out of his little brain! Yes, it’s great to have a dog who loves people, but you also want a dog who can control himself to the extent that he’s not getting frustrated, stressed, and frantic all the time.

The Wonder of Impulse Control

We set to work with a varied training program - all underpinned with impulse control - for the dog.

And for the owner: a new way of interacting with her dog, without blame, shouting, and recrimination - all underpinned with impulse control for her!

It’s important to note that if you don’t want your dog to do something, rather than try and stop him after the event, you should ensure that the thing you don’t like cannot happen in the first place.

This may seem obvious when you think about it. But many dogs are left directionless and expected to fit into the lives of a different species, and know all the rules from the start!

We don’t leave sharp knives lying around when there’s a toddler in the house, ready to shout and yell when they pick one up! We put the knives away where the baby can’t reach them.

Double Whammy

So you need to approach any dog problem from two ends. In the first place you ensure that the undesired behaviour cannot happen, and in the second place you teach an alternative behaviour for him to choose in the future.

After a few games which switched Jimmy from lunatic mode to thinking mode, we moved straight into teaching him the wonders of a small mat.

Rewarding him first just for looking at it, then for standing on it, over a few minutes Jimmy decided that this mat was the best place on earth to be. When called off the mat and rewarded, he turned and took himself straight back to the mat and sat, expectantly - calm and alert - waiting for his reward. His eyes were bright, his tongue gently lolling. His face was no longer creased and strained. As Jan said, “You can see the wheels turning in his head!”

Part of this process is to place the rewards between the paws, right on the mat. This is what persuaded Jimmy what a good thing the mat was. When he put his front paws on it, treats miraculously appeared there!

I have to add that by now, Jimmy’s owner Jan was standing open-mouthed. She could not believe that Jimmy was choosing to sit still, waiting for permission to move, with no lead to restrain him. She was also amazed that I was not telling Jimmy to do anything - he was working it out all by himself, and once he cracked the code then he could enjoy my praise and laughter and his piece of hot dog.

Jan realised that to get a change in Jimmy’s behaviour, she had to change her own.

Up to now she’d had little idea what to do. She’d seen tv programs where dogs were shouted or poked into submission, but was quite unable to make that work with Jimmy - probably because she was a nice person herself.

She was delighted to find that there’s another way to get what you want from a dog, and no shouting or poking is required!

Matwork RULES!

Over the following days and weeks, Jan made sure to spend five minutes a day playing the Mat Game with Jimmy. When I arrived for the next lesson, I was amazed to find Jan opening the door slowly - with barely-suppressed excitement - to reveal Jimmy lying on his mat in the hallway.

It was safe to enter the house without my nose being removed or my sleeves shredded!

Jan’s ferocious determination to stick to her task was unusual. Many people just like to be told what to do - then expect it to happen all by itself. But Jan had a lot at risk. Her daughter was pregnant and she wanted Jimmy to learn how to behave politely and calmly for when her daughter visited with the new baby.

So Jan’s results were very quick. She so enjoyed this new way of interacting with Jimmy - without shouting and blaming - that she had discovered what a genuinely nice dog he is. This new-found calmness and responsiveness was pervading all their lives and was a huge change for the better.

Some people will take longer to get their dog to the stage Jimmy reached quickly. But what matter? So long as you get there in the end, improving your relationship with your dog all the while, speed is not important.

Inside every manic, stressed, dog, there’s a calm, friendly creature just waiting to emerge.

I’ve given you enough to get you started here in your dog’s transformation from wild puppy to Brilliant Family Dog.

But to get all the low-down and a detailed program to work from, have a look at Book 1 in the Essential Skills for a Brilliant Family Dog series: Calm Down! Step-by-Step to a Calm, Relaxed, and Brilliant Family Dog. I’ll take you by the hand and guide you through the steps, just as I did with Jan.

You can choose paperback, ebook, or audiobook.

Really prefer video to reading? We’ve got you covered! Watch our free Workshop here, on getting your dog to LISTEN!

Babies and puppies - how to start

I had a query recently from a dog-owner who was expecting a baby and wanted to know what she should do to prepare. This is a frequent question from people who think ahead and realise the possible dangers, rather than those who have a more happy-go-lucky approach to life.

The last thing you want is to disturb the joyful anticipation of your pregnancy with worries about what might go wrong!

But early planning is so good, to get everything ironed out well in advance.

The first thing you’ll need to do is develop the trust with your dog that his needs are met. Watch our free Workshop here on getting your dog to LISTEN! Lots of helpful lessons to get this going smoothly.

Once you’re “all on the same side”, it’ll be easier to make the changes you need.

So here are some specific ideas for you to be constructive in this waiting time and build up to the new life for your dog with love.

Change!

Your lives are all going to change massively. If this is a first baby for you -you have no idea! And if your dog has little experience of babies . . . he has no idea either. Great! We start with a clean slate.

Any changes you’re going to make to your dog’s daily schedule should start to be introduced NOW, well before the baby arrives.

◦  Where do you want your dog to sleep?

◦  Where will you feed him, and when?

◦  When will you walk him?

◦  Play with him?

If you want to change any of these anchors in his day, start doing it now, a bit at a time. There’s no danger then of your dog associating the incomer with changes to his life. It will all be history and well-established by the time the baby arrives.

Baby gear

In the same way, start introducing baby gear early on. The pram or pushchair, the cot, the nappy basket - all these things will just be novelties in your home which your dog will happily accept.

As soon as you get your baby transporter, you can start taking it for walks with your dog. You can put a bag of shopping in it to give it a bit of weight. You may be surprised to find how well your dog walks beside the pushchair when your lead is anchored either to your hand which is pushing the buggy, or to your hip-belt. Never attach the lead to the pushchair!!

Along with this, you could get friends to stop and admire your bag of shopping, and reach over to touch it. Any signs of resource guarding (“protection”) in your dog you’ll need to address separately. You can read this post to get started.

Baby smells and sounds

A method many use to help acclimatise their dog to baby scents, is to give your baby’s blanket to a friend with a baby (don’t worry if you don’t know any yet, you’ll meet plenty of people with babies as you do clinic visits and the like!) and get them to use it for a day or two. Baby smells, including dribbles and more (!), will be on this blanket by the time it comes back to you. Just leave it on the floor somewhere for your dog to study and sniff. Leave him to it. The blanket could move around and find itself in the cot one day, the nappy basket another. It will become “furniture” to your dog.

And if your dog is very sound-sensitive, you can use recordings of babies - yelling, crying, squawking, whimpering - and play them when you’re fussing round the cot or pram. Background muzak.

Pay attention to your dog

Your dog has been used to life-before-baby. Don’t let him lose the freedom he’s always enjoyed! You’ll need to get out without the baby too, so take him for walks - or just play with him in the garden when the baby is asleep inside.

Both baby and dog will be sleeping (hopefully) for many hours a day. A lot of this time you should be sleeping too. But judicious management of sleep times can mean that there are few hours in the day when you need to be dealing with both baby and dog at the same time. This will enable you to give each undivided attention when it’s their turn.

What you can do is make sure that for your dog,

Baby = Good Things

 So whenever the baby is about, or can be heard, ensure your dog has a food-toy, or you toss him treats, or scatter his dinner on the floor for him to spend time hoovering up. These goodies only appear when the baby does.

Boundaries

Baby gates are essential for your new household setup. And you’ll be so glad you spent that effort in crate-training your puppy!

Your dog needs to have somewhere he can go and never be disturbed. If he can choose to take himself away from a situation he’s worried about, you’ll all feel much more confident. Always give him a bolthole.

There will be times when you are tired, stressed, sleep-deprived, the house is a mess . . . and there’s a knock at the door. If your dog is happy to stay parked behind a baby gate in another room while you deal with your caller, this is one less thing to worry about.

The same goes for when you need to relax. One of my clients who had done wonders with her very reactive re-homed German Shepherd Dog was being harassed by her well-meaning family during her pregnancy, with horror stories of dogs eating babies. They insisted she get rid of the dog. She was very anxious, understandably.

So I gave her a way to have her beloved dog near her while she nursed her baby, by using a baby gate in the doorway near her sofa. Her dog, who was well-used to this new system by the time the baby arrived, had no complaints, and was happy to field the treats she tossed him from time to time while she ministered to her baby.

After working this way for a while - and adopting the Baby = Good Things policy outlined above - Guy proved himself a star, and went from being on high alert to every baby sound, to relaxing entirely. Baby and dog got along just fine, and “Guy” was the child’s first word! I was so pleased to receive this note a few months later:

“I just wanted to let you know how things are going. Guy has been great and has really calmed down. You were right when you said that when we relax, he will follow. As soon as we felt calmer, Guy just seemed to realise that all was ok and that he didn't need to keep alerting us to our baby’s presence. We can all be in the same room together which is lovely. We put Guy in the kitchen behind the gate when our son is on the floor because we can completely control the situation then. After the baby’s bedtime at 7, Guy gets a piece of his old life back with us!”

Relax!

You can see there that the biggest change - after all the safety measures were put in place - was the family relaxing. There’s no need to imagine the worst when you are truly doing your best. There was a huge history of trust with this dog which was in danger of being lost because his family was suddenly acting so weird towards him. Once they changed that, everything went smoothly.

And they still had time to enjoy their quiet time with their beloved pet

Last Thoughts: photos

I hate to see those “cute” photos all over the internet of babies crawling over dogs. A basic knowledge of Dog Body Language - lots of links below in Resources - shows that these dogs are stressed, anxious, invaded . . . possibly an accident waiting to happen. Please don’t do this to your dog! And ensure he can always get away from babies and children whenever he wants to.

Want to learn how to get your dog to LISTEN? Watch our free Workshop!

 

RESOURCES

Blue Cross  

Family Paws

Doggone Safe

Children and dog bites

Dogs Trust baby sounds

How can your family dog teach your children empathy?

Dog Body Language - what’s that?

We’re all pretty fluent in human body language. We know when someone’s giving us the cold shoulder, looking quizzically, folding their arms to form a barrier showing resistance to what we’re saying. It’s all part of our rich communication skills.

But what if we had no speech? What if this were the only way we could communicate?

That’s where dogs find themselves!

Your puppy arrives with you, a few weeks old, with little idea what these great lumbering creatures of another species are doing with him.

He has no idea how to communicate!

So he’ll try barking; flattening himself on the floor; running away; jumping up; trying to play inappropriately (e.g. with your trouserlegs). Eventually, if all he gets is shouting or punishment*** in response, he’ll resort to snarling. This means he’s frightened of you! He may feel he needs to get in first with a snap in order to stop you doing whatever it is you’re doing. 

*** By “punishment” I’m not suggesting you’re beating your dog with a stick! Punishment means anything that is unpleasant - so it could be ignoring, yelling, confiscation, banishment, pushing or pulling ..

Sometimes, the puppy has found this is the only way to get attention from you.

This is a sad state of affairs, and one which many new puppy-owners find themselves in. They mistakenly think they need to discipline their puppy.

Do you discipline a newborn baby? Of course you don’t! You lavish her with love and affection, studying her all the time to find out her needs and wishes.

Disciplining a puppy is confrontational. That is not what you want with anyone you’re trying to build a relationship with.

So this is where the sensitive owner needs to step in and make it clear what communication works and what doesn’t.

Get the basics down first

The first thing to do is establish some basics:

1. A proper housetraining program is in operation. Get your free Cheatsheet for Errorless Housetraining here

2. Your puppy is getting all the sleep he needs, in a dedicated place where he cannot be disturbed.

3. YOU are getting all the sleep YOU need!

4. Your puppy is getting high-quality food in sufficient quantity at the right amount for his age

It always amazes me how many new dog-owners have no idea about these points. But if they aren’t met, you have little hope with the next part!

Sensitivity and understanding

Now you need to watch your dog like a scientist would.

🐾 What is he doing when?

🐾 Why is he doing it?

Take your personal feelings right out of the equation. This is not about you! It’s about a tiny creature of another species, who has found himself in a strange new world with people who don’t seem to understand him.

So if he does something you don’t like, don’t take it personally! Ask yourself what the reason may be for this.

 A. Is he overtired? (HINT: this is normally the first reason for puppy “misbehaviour”, just as it is for toddlers.)

B. Is he hungry?

C. Is he bored?

D. Is this the fastest way for him to get your attention?

E. Are you telling him off for breaking some rule he does not know exists?

Start learning exactly what is going on, how your puppy is acting just before he does the thing you don’t want, then look for a way to change this without punishment, force, intimidation, or shouting.

Just as with that toddler, usually all that’s needed is to attend to one of the basics listed above. Once all those boxes are ticked, you can move on to distracting him with something interesting (movement, food, toy, outside) and teaching him how to play the way you’d like it - with toys and not your hands.

So what’s with the Dog Body Language?

To help you understand exactly what you are seeing - as you watch your puppy as a scientist would - have a look at this video which gives you a quick guide to how dogs express themselves.

So often people misunderstand what their dog is saying! They anthropomorphise their actions, ascribing motives where there are none.

Honestly, dogs just want a comfy billet and a quiet life. Is that what your new dog is getting with you?

Want to learn how to get your dog to LISTEN?

Watch our free Workshop!

CAN MY DOG BE STRESSED? - PART 3

This post was first published on positively.com and is reprinted here with permission.

Here is the third excerpt from my book - Building Confidence in your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog - which points out an area which will be affecting your dog much more than you may imagine. You may want to read the first and second parts of this series first: Can My Dog Be Stressed? - Part 1 and Can My Dog Be Stressed? Part 2 

While you’re doing your best to improve the situation and you take a look at what may be making things worse, you cannot overlook stress.

• Stress causes reactions to be exaggerated

• Stress causes us to snap

• Stress wears us out

And here’s another area of your dog’s life that could be building stress that may surprise you.

3. Daycare or a dogwalker

A very perceptive reader sent me this query recently: “My question is, what do you think of daycare for dogs? Are the dogs actually happy about it, or do dog owners just like to imagine they are?”

Some dogs love daycare. And some people love holiday camps with group activities. I have to say that’s not my kind of holiday, and I would find it very hard to cope and not one bit enjoyable.

I am not going to tar all daycares and dogwalkers with the same brush. There are some excellent ones, with dedicated and knowledgeable owners and good staff education programs. But I will say that you'll have to do extensive research to find a convenient, local one that is truly a safe place for your anxious dog to learn and develop. 

Management skills

Think of the skills you need as a parent to prevent open warfare in your own household! Then picture a gang of dogs being thrown together for a walk - or all day in a confined area - in the care of people who may have no dog training or behaviour qualifications whatever. “I love dogs” may help, but it’s not a qualification. And given how long it takes us to learn how to care for our own species - and that a lot of what people think about dogs is wrong - you’re going to be lucky to find somewhere safe for your dog.

I was recently shown a promotional video for a daycare by someone who’s been sending her very reactive German Shepherd pup there for months. Even in this 30-second video - meant to show how wonderful the place was - I could see bullying and intimidation of this pup by other dogs, and no one going to her aid. Imagine what this sensitive puppy is subjected to for ten hours a day, five days a week! No wonder her reactivity is already extreme at only six months of age. What the owner thought as “being perfectly happy at daycare” was in fact a dog that spent all day trying to avoid the other dogs (quite impossible with those numbers of loose dogs) - shut down, in other words. Not fine at all.

For many dogs, daycare is viewed with the same suspicion I view that holiday camp!

Dogwalkers

If you have a good and responsible dogwalker, you are indeed fortunate! A dogwalker arrived at my regular walking spot recently. She opened her van doors and out flew five or six dogs. One planted his feet on my chest while the others hurtled around the roadside car park alarming other dogs before heading off on their walk. After 20 minutes she returned and drove away again. Would you be happy paying good money for that level of care every day?

My personal solution to an enforced absence from home is to have someone I trust to come in to let the dogs out in the garden and play with them for a while during the day. A “walk” is not needed.

If anything goes wrong in a daycare or with a dogwalker, you will be paying for that for years - possibly the rest of your dog’s life. You can spend time observing at a potential daycare. If they don’t like you quietly watching - move on. Think hard, and do a lot of homework, before handing your dog over.

Regardless of where you live, there will be fantastic, dedicated dogwalkers and daycare facilities that truly put the needs of the dogs in their care above all else. So seek out those above-and-beyond caretakers, and you and your dog will certainly reap the rewards!

Here are excerpt 1 and excerpt 2

Did you find this excerpt interesting? Here's what Book 3 looks like!

Or you can choose to get all three books at once, in paperback or ebook.

For a free e-course to help remove the stress from your life, and your dog’s life go to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog, watch our free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

Fights in a multi-dog household

You enjoy having one dog so much, that you decided to get two.

And that’s where your troubles may have begun.

Carefully introduced, the dogs will get on famously and become firm friends.

In the image above, Lacy is chewing a bone while Cricket enjoys her body-heat. Both dogs content.

But sometimes things go wrong, and you find that either

🐾 the older dog resents the newcomer

OR

🐾 the newcomer rocks the boat and starts bossing the old guy around.

Either way, it was your choice to get a second dog, not the present incumbent’s choice. So you have to make sure to disrupt the dogs’ lives as little as possible while they learn that neither of them has anything to fear, and that they can trust you.

Have a look at this post which gives you guidelines to follow. Do follow them rigidly! Don’t rush ahead, or cut corners. This system works, whether your first dog is reactive or not, and whether you’re introducing a puppy or an adult dog into the mix.

Resource Guarding

Often, fights are a form of resource guarding. One dog has something and doesn’t want to share it, or lose it. This could be a sleeping place, a food bowl, or you and your attention.

So it’s essential to show your worried dog that he has nothing to fear over losing valued resources. Teaching turn-taking is an important part of the smooth running of a multi-dog household, and the easiest way to teach this is

1. Teach Impulse Control around food

2. Line the dogs up and say “Name, here,” as you hand a treat to one, and “Other name, here you go,” as you feed the other. Do this randomly, at odd times, and in a different order, and reward their patience warmly.

Along with spending a lot of time with each dog individually, and using a force-free training program to build an unbreakable bond with each dog, you can remove daily friction from their lives so that these tiffs become a thing of the past.

Here’s where you can start to develop a new way of interacting with your dogs! 

Odd dog

If one dog is ill or injured, the change in appearance or smell could upset the status quo. Similarly if one of them is undergoing a lot of hormonal change, this can stir things up. Before you do anything about this possibility, check out this post. (The changes are not what you may think!)

Fight!

If you’ve got fights going on already, you need to act immediately to change your systems. What may appear simply a spat can result in horrible (and expensive) physical damage, not to mention poisoning the atmosphere afterwards.

So turn your home into a village. Baby gates, crates, and playpens are your friends! It’s important to give each dog space to relax without fear. If the dogs are on edge all the time, this is no fun for anyone. Operate an airlock system if necessary, to move dogs around.

This is a lot easier than it sounds, but you have to make sure the whole family is on board with the new plan.

I never want to take the chance of coming home and finding bits of dog splattered about the place - just because someone knocked on the door at the same time as a gunshot sounded, or a dog barked. So my dogs each have their own place where they are secluded and safe. When I arrive home I am greeted by happy, cool, snoozy dogs. Once you establish a system it’s very easy to do, and the dogs are all happy.

Serious fights

If you’re suffering from fights that cause serious damage - especially if both are bitches, and/or terriers - then you may have no option but to rehome the new dog. I’d see this as a last resort. But if the quality of life for the household is suffering, and you have tried everything above without success, you may have to accept that this is the best course of action.

And before you consider another new dog, study the article linked at the top of this post, on how to introduce your dogs successfully!

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