Got a Pandemic Puppy?

There are loads of new dog-owners this unusual year. Being stuck at home means they at last are able to get a pet. So loads more people are discovering the joy of having a canine companion. Hooray!

But the flip side of this is that there are loads of people who were unprepared for dog-ownership, who perhaps purchased their dog on a whim, and are now finding out that it’s not quite as easy as they thought!

Not only that, but I’m afraid the nasties have crawled out of the woodwork to capitalise on people’s needs, and there has been a booming trade in puppy farmed dogs (aka puppy mills in the US). Not only have the poor bitches been worked even more relentlessly than usual so their selfish owners can cash in, but the prices have gone through the roof!

People are paying thousands of pounds for a crossbreed from a puppy farm, with no health checks, no parental pedigree, reared in a bare shed. Often they’re told the puppy is eight weeks old when it’s actually anything between five and twenty weeks or more.

These folk have no idea that dog-breeding can be such a dangerous place to wander into without research.

The real breeders, of course - those who work tirelessly to improve their breed, spend a fortune on genetic testing, and are ultra-fussy about who they hand their puppies over to - are still charging normal prices.

Add to this that because puppies are such a valuable commodity at the moment that many people are getting older dogs - thinking they’ll be easier to manage! And many more are buying imported dogs from Eastern Europe. They think they are doing a good thing by “rescuing” these unfortunate dogs.

What they’re actually doing is sentencing themselves to a lifetime of expensive and time-consuming remedial work, to try and get their foreign street-dog to fit into their comfy suburban lifestyle. 

Classes closed

As if this weren’t enough, many classes have been closed for at least part of the year, though my dedicated colleagues at the APDT have done valiant work to continue, according to the ever-changing edicts. They know how important it is for new dog people to find out how their dog ticks - they don’t arrive with an owner’s manual!

Another thing we’re seeing is problems with under-socialised dogs. Because there is such a poor understanding, generally speaking, of what “puppy socialisation” entails, people have been keeping their dogs at home, also teaching them that they will never be left alone. As the restrictions begin to lift, and people return to work, they’re finding that this is not working in their favour, and their dogs are naturally upset at their sudden abandonment.

All gloom and doom? Not at all!

But we can do a lot to help these new dog-owners enjoy their charge, and ensure a happy life for both owner and pup.

As I said, quality dog trainers are working in difficult conditions to keep their classes going. And those of us who have online programs are accommodating as many as we can. Most reputable online trainers have a large person-to-person component in their training programs, so it isn’t just a case of “pack ‘em in”!

So if you took your chance and rushed out and got a dog, and you’re now finding things beginning to fall apart - make your way to one of these high-quality, qualified, force-free, trainers. It’s a minefield, trying to wade through the trainerspeak jargon that many people use (usually those you don’t want to use!) so I list some organisations below.

And right now you can enjoy our free Workshop to teach your dog to LISTEN!

Register here and you’ll be learning new ways to interact with your dog within minutes. You owe it to your dog

Recommended force-free dog training organisations

APDT(UK)

ABTC

APBC

KPA

VS Academy

IMDT

CBATI

PPG

I’ve tried everything to change my dog …

I hear this loads!

◆           “I’ve tried everything …”

◆           “I tried this once and it didn’t work”

◆           “Nothing will change my dog.”

And I can tell you that you are mistaken. This should be music to your ears! There is a way forward, an end to your present frustration. Let’s have a look at these statements, one by one:

1. “I’ve tried everything …”

There are so many different methods in the world to train your dog - you can’t possibly have tried all of them! And there an awful lot you shouldn’t try at all, as they’ll actually make your dog worse. There are sadly, still many “dog trainers” and “dog behaviourists” who are - to put it bluntly - talking through their hats.

They dwell in a murky past where we are in control, and our dogs must do our bidding - or else. It’s the same mentality that used to beat children for naughtiness or “impure thoughts”. It’s been discredited for so long now, that I wonder which stone these people have been lurking under, that they have completely missed all the scientifically-backed discoveries about how our dogs’ minds actually work, and how we can get them to work in our favour.

You may have been misled by one of these people. It’s very hard for the “ordinary dog-owner in the street” to recognise them. And you went along with their suggestions, trying to do your best for your dog, only to discover that these actions made you feel sick, and made your dog worse into the bargain. Already afraid of the world, he’s now afraid of you - his only ally.

This comment from a student is something I see all too often:

“I never went back [to the class] but feel guilty to this day at having exposed him to that extreme and relentless intimidation, and not speaking up there and then.”

On the one hand it’s good because now this person has found a better way. But on the other hand it’s sad that they still feel guilty about it. I was able to reassure this person:

“We can only do our best with the information we have at the time. And you were doing your best. Sadly, those ideas are still prevalent in many places. So start from where you are. Don't worry about what went before.” 

This student is now enjoying working with her dog, not against him, and seeing real progress. “We love the games - so effective!”

Even if you work with trainers who genuinely espouse positive reinforcement, if you’re “trying everything”, it suggests that what you’re trying isn’t working! If you’re struggling with a dog who you can’t connect with, or who is overcome with fear or fury when out on a walk, then you need someone who has worked through all this already, and who can guide you through a structured program to achieve the change you desire.

Guess who?

Not got a Growly Dog, just a naughty one?

Check out our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN!

2. “I tried this once and it didn’t work”

Can you guess what I’m going to say here?!

BABY STEPS! 👣 🐾

We didn’t learn Calculus in Kindergarten. We started by counting buttons. Only gradually did we get the results we now have in arithmetic (and yes, you can do sums, even if you don’t like them much!).

Learning a new process to work through with your dog is just the same. It’s not something you can try, inexpertly, once - then dismiss. You need to commit to making the effort your dog deserves. Only by working through the given steps and assessing your progress can you say whether something “worked” or not.

This is where the value of having a teacher working with you really scores! Just throwing information at someone is not going to help them get it. People hunt all over the internet without discernment or direction, ill-equipped to assess or judge the source of the information (see my point under no.1 above) - of course they end up confused! And this is why my books are filled with troubleshooting advice for individual dogs, and my courses have a strong element of personal coaching to help you interpret and get the best out of the lessons.

You need patience! Rome wasn’t built in a day! It’s the gradual accumulation of knowledge and experience that is the answer you seek.

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. Robert Louis Stevenson

3. “Nothing will change my dog”

This is possibly the saddest of all. Your dog is a living being! And like you, she can change.

I have seen “hopeless cases” become much-loved family pets. I have seen dogs about to be re-homed, puppies about to be returned to the breeder, who are still in their homes to this day, thanks to their owners making a last-ditch attempt to find answers.

I’m appalled when I hear of dogs being thrown out of training classes for being too disruptive, too difficult, too dog. This demonstrates not only a lack of ability on the part of the class trainer, but a complete absence of willingness to help someone and their troubled dog.

This I see as my mission in life! I have never turned a dog away from any class of mine, and I never will. As a church-going friend put it, “The church is for sinners, not for saints.”

So please don’t think that as you’ve tried things before that didn’t work; you tried something new - full of enthusiasm - only to find it let you down; that your dog cannot change. It simply means that up to now you haven’t found the help you need.

I would love to give you that help, and those of you with Growly Dogs may be excited to find what I have for you in just a few days’ time. Today is a new day!

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog cope with our world, watch our

free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

It's not the dog, it's you! A simple way to stop leash reactivity

First published on positively.com and reprinted here with permission

Well, the dog started it.

But now you are making it worse (although you really, really don’t mean to).

What am I talking about?

It’s when you’re walking your dog, and your charming, delightful, sweet family dog transforms into a nasty, snarling, barking hooligan.

Just because she spotted another dog.

It’s utterly baffling to you - you feel embarrassed and frustrated. You love your dog and you hate the looks people are giving you, down their noses, clearly thinking your dog is horrible!

I know, because I’ve been there too.

But there is light at the end of this particular tunnel. It may have started recently or it may have been going on (and getting steadily worse) for ages. Either way, breathe a sigh of relief, because we can change things!

Let me explain first why your dog is doing what she’s doing.

Aren’t all dogs meant to be friendly?

Even the mildest dog can have a fear-reaction to something - and Spaniels, Labradors, you-name-its, are just as likely as any other breed to become fearful of dogs or people.

It may be something new, something invading her space, something that is sending out danger signals. It’s how both we and the dog deal with this that will dictate whether this now becomes a new behaviour pattern or whether your dog says “Ah well,” and moves on.

Dogs have an intricate body language of which many of us are blissfully unaware. Just like us, they don’t launch into a strong reaction to something - they start with subtle signals and work their way up if those signals are ignored.

Dogs don’t bite “out of the blue” - it’s just that no-one noticed them politely saying “Excuse me, but I’m not happy about the way you’re staring at me.”

Just as you would shuffle away if a stranger sat close beside you on a bus, a dog will avert his gaze, turn his head away, turn his body away, lick his lips, yawn - amongst other things - to show that he’s anxious and he’s not a threat to the other dog.

If that stranger on the bus persisted in leaning on you, you wouldn’t pull a knife on him! Depending on your personality you may get up and move, you may shout, you may appeal for help from the other passengers. You would gradually escalate your response as you found that your polite signs were not working - only when you feel seriously threatened does your knife come out!

So if another dog is staring at your dog - even worse, coming straight towards her - your dog will be going through her entire repertoire of calming signals in an attempt to persuade the dog that she’s not a threat and the other dog should stop advancing right now. If her messages are not heeded, then she has no option but to bring out the heavy artillery and “shout” at the other dog, putting on an immense display of power and fury and teeth to keep him away.

So when we walk our dog along the road and see another walker and dog coming the other way, we are putting our fearful dog in a difficult position.

If we then do what so many people do, consciously or unconsciously - that is to tighten the lead as soon as you see the dog - you are a) telling your dog that something is about to happen and you are anxious, and b) preventing her from giving any of her calming body signals! It’s hard to look shy and inconspicuous if someone is holding your head up in the air.

Read this post all about Dog Body Language

Keep your distance!

Add to this that dogs have a very strong idea about personal space. As indeed do we - only a dog’s personal space is way bigger than ours! The more frightened she is, the bigger her worry area will become, until a dog appearing in the far distance can be enough to trigger an outburst.

So while we may feel comfortable walking towards another person along a narrow pavement hemmed in by hedges and parked cars, your anxious dog will most definitely not feel comfortable! Heading in a straight line towards a strange dog is both rude and threatening for your dog (and for the other dog, too).

We are unwittingly stirring up a situation by expecting our dogs to conform to our social norms.

So what can I do?

Once you appreciate that your dog is not being nasty or suddenly turning aggressive - rather she is afraid - you can see things from her perspective.

Dogs do what works. And up to now, barking and lunging on the lead has worked, to an extent. Either the other owner thinks “That’s a nasty dog,” and moves away, or you - in your embarrassment and confusion - get outa there yourself.

So quite often, barking and making a to-do have caused the progress towards another dog to stop.

Action Steps

So here’s a plan:

1. Avoid narrow paths, alleyways, and “tunnels” - be they tunnels of fences and parked cars, or tunnels of bracken and hedgerow.

2. Walk in the middle of fields, rather than hugging the hedge.

3. As soon as you see another dog, your first response should be to relax your hands, exhale, and look around for an exit strategy - the exact opposite of what is probably happening now (clutching the lead with a vice-like grip, sharp intake of breath, rising panic, trying to make your dog sit . . .)

4. Calmly and cheerfully ask your dog to turn with you (be fun and exciting, not anxious and stern), and head away: cross the road, go down a turning - in some way get away from the advancing dog.

5. Congratulate your dog (and yourself!) warmly for the calmness you’ve both shown in the face of a big challenge.

6. Let your dog know that she never has to meet another dog again, as you will always move away.

7. Remember that Distance is Your Friend.

With this plan in hand there’ll be no need for you to walk only at The Hour of The Difficult Dog. You’ll no longer be avoiding other dogs - rather you’ll be positively looking out for them so you can practice your new-found skills. 

Yes, I did say that - it’s really true!

And if you don’t believe me, see what Scruffy the Jack Russell Terrier’s owners said:

“Scruffy used to become frantic and scrape at the floor to get towards any dog he saw, even at a great distance. This was embarrassing and stressful. He is now able to look at other dogs and move away with us to continue his walk. This is a massive improvement in just a few weeks. It means that we no longer avoid dogs, but in fact go out looking for them so that we can work on his training.”

And the world will begin to see your lovely, affectionate and clever dog as you see her.

You may think I’m oversimplifying this, but if half the team gets it together then this is a great start and can stop things going further downhill.

Give this plan a try and tell me in the comments below what you have found.

Oh, and If your dog has bitten, you should acclimatise her to love wearing a basket muzzle to ensure that everyone is safe.

Do you have a dog, or a “rescue dog”?

There’s so much of what we do with our dogs that is down to us. Often the dog doesn’t have to do a thing - it’s a question of changing our mindset.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer

 AND THEN you can change the way you find solutions.

Many of you write to me and introduce your dog as a “rescue dog”. I hear it all the time.

NO!

As soon as that dog comes through your door, he’s YOUR dog! His history - if you have the truth, which is not all that likely - may be useful in unravelling a few of his mysteries.

But what went before is not of much help to us now.

We start from where we are

You have to ask yourself why you refer to your dog as a Rescue Dog?

Is it because of the sympathetic “Ahhh” you get from other people?

Or are you perhaps saying that anything bad he does is not your fault?

Supposing you had an adopted daughter. Would you introduce her as “This is Miranda. She’s adopted.”

NOOOO! Of course you wouldn’t!

You’d say “this is Miranda, she loves swimming.”

If you say “she’s adopted,” you’re abdicating responsibility for how she is.

You’re saying you didn’t have anything to do with her earlier life so you can’t be blamed for her poor behaviour.

Can that be why you maintain that your dog is a rescue dog? Even after all these years? Some of you have had your “rescue dog” for 5 - 8 - 10 years!

The celebrated Veterinary Behaviourist Karen Overall says:

“What we call something matters because it shapes how we think of it.” Karen Overall

 You don’t want to think of your daughter as a changeling for all of her life. And you don’t need to see your dog as a “rescue”, or give him any more labels to explain away his behaviour as something carved in stone. 

What words can I use?

I’ll often suggest a different wording to describe something. This is entirely because I want you to SEE it differently. 

Maybe you call your dog stubborn, or obstinate, or dominant, or just plain difficult?

Every time we pin a label on our dog we are making another judgment.

There are a number of trendy new labels doing the rounds at the moment - which suggest that your dog is fixed in his responses - unchangeable because that’s the way he is. That he’s born with a certain mindset or outlook on life, and is incapable of change.

This is as absurd as thinking Miranda can never grow up to be a fulfilled human being because she had a rocky start.

How many shy children, for example, grow up to become public speakers, or capable professionals?

I mention shy, reactive, anxious, or aggressive dogs. These are all very different! Your dog may be one and not any of the others.

Now it does help to have something to indicate that the dog doesn’t necessarily behave as people expect dogs to.

Growly Dogs (don’t we love ‘em!)

This is why I use the term GROWLY. It describes a symptom rather than a disease.

It describes what the dog is DOING, not what the dog IS.

I’m going to say that again, to be sure that you GET IT: 

It describes what the dog is DOING, not what the dog IS.

It doesn’t ascribe motive or reason - it simply says that growly - uncomfortable - is how this dog may respond.

So I’d like you to take a look at all the labels you attach to your dog. What they are, when you use them, and - most importantly - WHY?

If you truly want to change how things are with your Growly Dog - or any dog, for that matter - you won’t want to stick him in a box, seal it, stamp it, and say “That’s it.”

The way is always open for us to change, and changing our perception is the first step.

For more help with changing your thinking, check out www.beverleycourtney.com/blog/the-winds-will-blow

Want to leave your dog’s history behind and start a new life together? Start with this free Masterclass, and talk to me in the chat. I WILL understand you, and I will respond and help you as best I can.

Want to know your biggest mistake?

Want to know your biggest mistake? 

It's thinking your difficult dog's behaviour is All. Your. Fault.

Don't you know that blaming yourself is not going to help one bit? or blaming the shelter, that dog in the park, your family, or your dog!

The only thing that will move you forward is understanding. Understanding what's going on with your Growly Dog, and knowledge. Knowing how to change it.

It's really as simple as that!

Loadsa money

But people try to make it appear complex and difficult, to make you think you can't do it on your own, that you have to pay them loadsa money to do things to your dog, giving you methods without explaining anything to you - the person the dog lives with! - as if your dog is broken and needs fixing.

Some trainers will suggest methods that go against your better judgment, your heart.

You got your dog as a companion, to love, to nurture, to share your life - not to punish and abuse.

I'm here to tell you that it is all absolutely unnecessary

There's no need to resort to mediaeval practices - things that are not allowed to be done to people! - in order to get your dog to behave.

In fact, the longer you're asking whywhywhy, beating yourself up, questioning yourself, and trying to put extreme tactics in place, the longer your dog will remain unchanged.

Some of the things you'll be told to do to your dog will actually make her worse. You see, many people, including - sadly - many so-called "dog trainers", think that your dog is being difficult, stubborn, aggressive, wilful - you name it.

Whereas in fact your dog is just AFRAID! 

Your dog is not bad, she’s just afraid.

Do things look different now?

Suppose that you were afraid of spiders. If I shut you in a room full of spiders would you be LESS afraid, or confirmed in your belief that spiders are all BAD?

I know how I’d feel!

But you’ll be relieved to know that you can carry on loving your dog. 

You can continue to see her as your companion. Someone to look after and protect.

And you can still get the change you want, so that your dog - whether anxious, hyper, shy, aggressive - or just plain GROWLY - can become easier to walk, easier to handle, easier to trust - easier to love again.

Hear what Elle said about her damaged rescue dog who was getting steadily worse with several dog trainers:

“Thanks to you and your thorough, kind, humane and effective methods, we have come a long, long way. I never dreamed that we would have been able to come as far as we have. I am thrilled. 

Thanks to you, we are a beautiful work in progress and we have been able to establish an abiding, deep, and loving bond of trust which brings us joy each and every day…”

Want to restore your bond of trust with your dog and make it “abiding, deep, loving, and joyful”?

 I’ll be bringing you more over the upcoming weeks, so stay tuned.

 We can do this together! 

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog cope with our world, watch our

free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

The past is ancient history

What happened yesterday is as gone as what happened a thousand years ago. Going over and over it won't change it. Today is our only reality.

There’s no “What if”s and “What did he mean by that”? There's only what happened - and that's gone now. Your perception will change as you pore over it and your version of what happened may be very different from someone else's version.

But here's the danger point.

You may ascribe all sorts of reasons and causes:

🧑🏼‍🦰 Did he do that because he doesn't like me?

🧑🏼‍🦰 Did she say that because it's true?

🧑🏼‍🦰 Is it because I'm no good?

🧑🏼‍🦰 Ugly?

🧑🏼‍🦰 Too young?

🧑🏼‍🦰 Too old?

And if it's about your dog:

🐶 Is he doing that on purpose?

🐶 Is he being stubborn?

🐶 Is he defying me?

🐶 Is he scheming against me?

🐶 Does this mean I'm a useless dog owner?

Our minds can run away with us, but it doesn't alter what happened.

We can only operate in the present moment. That's the only time we have.

Our thoughts create our feelings and it doesn't matter if those thoughts are right or wrong, as long as they help you.

Better questions lead to better answers!

So try starting with some better questions:

❓Could I have done anything differently?

❓Did my dog act this way from fear?

❓Does my dog need more help from me and how can I help him more?

Whenever we ask a negative question, we tend to get a negative answer. "Am I a useless owner?" Yes, you must be, since you ask.

So only ask questions which will bring you helpful answers! Then you can be sure your thoughts are helpful ones.

How does all this affect your relationship with your dog? Just the same as your relationship with anyone else!

If you ascribe evil motives to something your dog is doing, then you are naturally going to blame him and think that he lies there in his basket dreaming up new and terrible ways to shame you.

Of course he doesn’t! He's just a dog. He just does.

You know that really?

So don't let your mind run away helter-skelter with a lot of unhelpful nonsense.

Something happened. That's all. And it's up to us what we make of it. If we want to make it a big thing - a drama - then we're going to feel bad, upset, worried. But if we just see it as something that happened, see it as information for us, we can learn from it and move on.

So rather than “I’m a useless dog-owner with a difficult dog who doesn't like me”. how about “Oh, my dog barked at that dog. I will avoid dogs for a few days to give him a break.”

Dwelling in the past is not conducive to moving forward with fresh eyes, fresh ears and new experiences.

I'm on a mission to change the world, one dog at a time. Will your dog be one of them?

If this line of thinking chimes with you, have a look at my other blog at www.beverleycourtney.com/blog - I think it may appeal to you!