Leave your dog's past behind

Dogs, as I frequently remind you, live in the present.

It’s now they care about. And they are remarkably able to renew themselves every day.

While we want them to enjoy stability and routine - and that suits us as well! - they are so much more adaptable than many people seem to think.

There is no need to have set hours for rising, exercising, sleeping, eating. As long as these things happen during the day, your dog doesn’t care when they happen.

I’m often told, “My dog has to have his walk at x time or he becomes anxious / difficult / wild …”

But this is just a reflection of what you’ve taught him to expect - and what he’s taught you to comply with! ;-)

As long as your dog gets what he needs, it really doesn’t matter much when he gets it.

An interesting experiment

I’ve run a number of week-long workshops for thousands of owners of reactive dogs. And one thing I found happened with predictable regularity was that when I’d tell them how to make a massive change in their dog’s behaviour, they’d say, “Oh no, I couldn’t do that.”

If this was their response, it showed that their minds were not open. Not as open as their dogs’ minds!

For example, I’d tell them to keep their reactive dog home for three whole days. No walks. (There was a specific scientific reason for this, it wasn’t just a whim on my part.)

And they’d say, “No! My dog will be climbing up the wall! He’ll go mad with too much energy! He’ll never settle without his daily walk.”

Many of these folk were persuaded to give it a try anyway - persuaded by me or by their fellow workshoppers who already knew how well this strategy worked.

And they’d report back a few days later that they were blown away with how calm their previously anxious and agitated dog had become! They couldn’t believe how their dog had accepted this new regime.

They now had a dog calm enough to actually work with! They could now start to use the techniques I went on to teach them, and have a fighting chance of them being effective!

No dog can learn when in a constant hyped-up state - which is what the over-stimulation of worrying walks was giving them.

You see, these kind owners thought they were doing their best for their dog by continuing to do things which were actually making the dog worse!

They were set on their path and it was very hard to budge them off it - despite the fact that after years they were making little or no progress with their dog.

🐾 It was their dog who was able to show them what worked.

🐾 It was their dog who showed herself to be the more adaptable of the two!

🐾 It was their dog who had clearly read and understood these wise words from Yung Pueblo:

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting, it just means we stop carrying the energy of the past into the present.

This is so perceptive, and so true!

We - humans, that is, not dogs - have a way of taking an experience and turning it into an unarguable fact. We set it in concrete. And we use it as a reference for ever more.

“This happened once, therefore it’s the way it will always be.”

No! That happened once. Decide what information and learning you want to take from the experience, and move on!

Your dog may have reacted in a certain way once. It doesn’t mean that’s the only way she can ever react!

She may need our input to show her a better way, but that means that our minds first have to be open to seeing that better way.

Many of the students in From Growly Dog to Confident Dog were despairing of moving forwards - BUT they had the open-mindedness to keep trying to find a way to help their unhappy dog (that’s what a reactive dog without help is - unhappy).

Here are some thoughts from a few of them:

This course has been a revelation. I don’t know where we’d be now if it weren’t for Beverley’s training, I just dread to think. - CR and Lois

The good news is that I can see that Rumpole and I have made loads of progress since starting this programme - we are both more confident. - JS and Rumpole

This past week she has walked past or near several dogs without a bark even though a couple barked at her. She has also said hello to some. I never thought it would be possible - but after 18 months of determination - it's paying off. I'm so glad I didn't give up - although several times have felt like it. The learning and structure of the course and this group has reassured me I'm doing the right thing and kept going - thank you. Keep going guys it really is worth it! - AT and Ginny

I have been in the From Growly Dog to Confident Dog program for just three months and I cannot believe the progress my dogs have made in such a short period of time. Your mission of trying to reach out to every person who wants to help their dog’s life improve is evident in everything you do. - SB, Charlie and Maggie

Want to leave your dog’s history behind and start a new life together? Start with this free Masterclass, and talk to me in the chat. I WILL understand you, and I will respond and help you as best I can.

My dog walker says my reactive dog is FINE!

Many people choose to employ a dog walker to exercise their dog.

It may because of being out at work all day, or physical infirmity, or many other reasons.

There are two things to consider here:

1. If you’re not enjoying getting out and about with your dog every day, what did you get a dog for?

2. By abdicating responsibility for his outings, you are handing someone else - possibly not sufficiently skilled - the task of managing and teaching your dog (for your dog is learning every moment of every day!). And this is compounded when your dog is reactive - anxious, shy, “aggressive” . . . Growly.

Knowledge and understanding of reactivity

I’ll take no.2 first.

If you know your dog is reactive, then it may be better for you to avoid having someone else manage his interactions with the outside world.

Dogwalking is an unregulated business. This means that anyone can set up as a dogwalker, with ZERO knowledge of dog training the ordinary dog, never mind a reactive one.

Now, there are some excellent, knowledgeable, dogwalkers. They have studied the subject, they know how to manage a reactive dog, and they’ll be keen to follow your instructions regarding how you do this (force-free and fear-free, of course!).

These unicorn dogwalkers will probably take your dog out solo or with a very small carefully-selected group. Got one of these walkers? HANG ON to them! They are rare beings.

I frequently find that a student dog’s increasing agitation and inability to cope with the existence of other dogs has stemmed from - or been exacerbated by - being walked by one of these inexpert walkers.

And these are the ones who will say, “Yes! Your dog is FINE!” Sadly, they are unaware of what is really going on and therefore have no idea of the damage they may be doing by mishandling the situations that arise.

Dogs are simple souls. And it won’t take many incidents where your dog feels unhappy, for him to don a suit of armour whenever the lead is put on. In other words, his reactivity will increase.

What can I do?

So now you’re saying, “I’m unable to exercise my dog - what on earth can I do?”

And before you plump for all-day daycare, be aware that the same problems exist there. There are very few establishments - in my experience - to whom I would entrust my reactive dog. Like the unicorn dogwalkers, they do exist! But you may have to hunt hard to find them in a location convenient to you.

My own solution, if I have to be out for the day, is to have one of these wonder-walkers visit my home and entertain the dogs there. The active dogs play in the garden with their new friend, the dozy ones enjoy a cuddle instead. The walker can make herself coffee and take a break with them. But they don’t walk anywhere!

If this is you, you are missing out!

Back to Point no.1.

Why did you get a dog?

Presumably to share your life with, to teach, to enjoy, to cuddle, to nurture, to get you out of your armchair and into nature . . .

If you hand what is possibly the most exciting part of your dog’s day to someone else, you are missing out!

You are missing the joy of seeing your dog interact with the world, run, jump, sniff and snuffle, chase frisbees, climb, explore - and seeing his pleasure at doing it all with you.

I realise there are those who for physical reasons are unable to walk their dog. Maybe it would be possible to drive to a suitable place and sit down and enjoy watching their dog’s freedom and joy?

And if you’re out at work all day - how about carving out a space early in the morning or after you get home? Be aware that your dog doesn’t need to be walked every day! This joy should not be a burden. And the reactive dog will benefit hugely from the reduction in stress this will bring.

This is such a valuable part of your dog’s life that you want to make every effort to enjoy it with him!

And if your dog is reactive - he needs YOU to be with him to help him cope with our world.

Want some help on managing your reactive dog?  

Get our free e-course with extensive lessons on how to get started on a force-free way of helping her.  

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Keep your Growly Dog at home!

Over here in England we are having one of our rare snow attacks. They’re sufficiently unusual to bring everything to a stop. It’s simply not realistic to spend the necessary money to alter the infrastructure for just a few days a year, as is the norm in countries where snow is a commonplace.

It’s very cold, the roads and paths are icy, there’s a biting wind … All in all, it’s keeping people at home.

And this is the perfect opportunity for you to give your Growly Dog a break!

Either you venture out into the freezing weather and enjoy the solitude, or you simply stay home and let your dog romp around the garden, dancing in the snow.

A Cortisol Holiday

Did you know that once hormone levels are raised in a fight-or-flight response, that it can take three whole days for them to go down again?

That’s one of those actual, indisputable, scientific facts I come out with from time to time!

This means that when your anxious, reactive - Growly - dog has an unpleasant incident when out and about, you should cut home straight away and stay there!

For three days.

What can you do during those days?

• Well, how about some games? I give you loads in our Academy

• How about some scent activities? Just hiding a sock to start with!

• How about some tricks? Tricks are such fun to teach and to learn! Plenty of those in the Academy too.

• And how about some R & R? Just chill with your lovely dog. If there’s been an upsetting incident on a walk, your hormones will be whizzing around too!

Remember what you love about your dog, why you got him in the first place. Enjoy his furry, comforting presence.

Walks can happen another day. Your bond with your dog can be growing all the time!

Exercise?

This is the point where people start to panic, and say, “My dog will go up the wall if I don’t take him out at least 1/2/3 times a day!”

The last time I suggested this course of action on a Workshop I was giving to several thousand people, there were many who said this.

Some flatly refused. Their minds were totally made up and they weren’t going to take any risks by trying something new!

But those who grudgingly agreed to try it (along with all those who were very happy to hear a new idea) were astonished by the results:

◆          They found that they enjoyed the “extra” time with their dog.

◆          Their dog slept much, much, more than they expected.

◆          Life grew calmer.

◆          They loved their dog again!

And when the three days were up, they were able to venture out again on much calmer walks.

And no, their dog didn’t get fat. If weight gain is a problem for your dog, you may have to reduce his meals slightly for those three days. But you should be able to play active games - even without a garden - that will use up some of his calories.

And, of course, brain work is much more tiring than walking. Trying some of the new activities with your dog that I suggest above, will result in new learning: and that will certainly use up calories!

So take advantage of our wintry weather and keep your Growly Dog at home.

And always do that after something bad has happened. You’ll find the results eye-opening.

For a free e-course to help you with your reactive dog, go to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog cope with our world, watch our

free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

Dog Body Language - what’s that?

We’re all pretty fluent in human body language. We know when someone’s giving us the cold shoulder, looking quizzically, folding their arms to form a barrier showing resistance to what we’re saying. It’s all part of our rich communication skills.

But what if we had no speech? What if this were the only way we could communicate?

That’s where dogs find themselves!

Your puppy arrives with you, a few weeks old, with little idea what these great lumbering creatures of another species are doing with him.

He has no idea how to communicate!

So he’ll try barking; flattening himself on the floor; running away; jumping up; trying to play inappropriately (e.g. with your trouserlegs). Eventually, if all he gets is shouting or punishment*** in response, he’ll resort to snarling. This means he’s frightened of you! He may feel he needs to get in first with a snap in order to stop you doing whatever it is you’re doing. 

*** By “punishment” I’m not suggesting you’re beating your dog with a stick! Punishment means anything that is unpleasant - so it could be ignoring, yelling, confiscation, banishment, pushing or pulling ..

Sometimes, the puppy has found this is the only way to get attention from you.

This is a sad state of affairs, and one which many new puppy-owners find themselves in. They mistakenly think they need to discipline their puppy.

Do you discipline a newborn baby? Of course you don’t! You lavish her with love and affection, studying her all the time to find out her needs and wishes.

Disciplining a puppy is confrontational. That is not what you want with anyone you’re trying to build a relationship with.

So this is where the sensitive owner needs to step in and make it clear what communication works and what doesn’t.

Get the basics down first

The first thing to do is establish some basics:

1. A proper housetraining program is in operation. Get your free Cheatsheet for Errorless Housetraining here

2. Your puppy is getting all the sleep he needs, in a dedicated place where he cannot be disturbed.

3. YOU are getting all the sleep YOU need!

4. Your puppy is getting high-quality food in sufficient quantity at the right amount for his age

It always amazes me how many new dog-owners have no idea about these points. But if they aren’t met, you have little hope with the next part!

Sensitivity and understanding

Now you need to watch your dog like a scientist would.

🐾 What is he doing when?

🐾 Why is he doing it?

Take your personal feelings right out of the equation. This is not about you! It’s about a tiny creature of another species, who has found himself in a strange new world with people who don’t seem to understand him.

So if he does something you don’t like, don’t take it personally! Ask yourself what the reason may be for this.

 A. Is he overtired? (HINT: this is normally the first reason for puppy “misbehaviour”, just as it is for toddlers.)

B. Is he hungry?

C. Is he bored?

D. Is this the fastest way for him to get your attention?

E. Are you telling him off for breaking some rule he does not know exists?

Start learning exactly what is going on, how your puppy is acting just before he does the thing you don’t want, then look for a way to change this without punishment, force, intimidation, or shouting.

Just as with that toddler, usually all that’s needed is to attend to one of the basics listed above. Once all those boxes are ticked, you can move on to distracting him with something interesting (movement, food, toy, outside) and teaching him how to play the way you’d like it - with toys and not your hands.

So what’s with the Dog Body Language?

To help you understand exactly what you are seeing - as you watch your puppy as a scientist would - have a look at this video which gives you a quick guide to how dogs express themselves.

So often people misunderstand what their dog is saying! They anthropomorphise their actions, ascribing motives where there are none.

Honestly, dogs just want a comfy billet and a quiet life. Is that what your new dog is getting with you?

Want to learn how to get your dog to LISTEN?

Watch our free Workshop!

Why Did My Dog’s Reactivity Get Worse, When I’m Trying My Best?

First published on positively.com and reprinted here with permission

Does your reactive dog seem to be getting worse?

More fearful, anxious, or aggressive - not less?

There are a few key strategies you can put in place very easily that will make a dramatic difference to how your dog perceives the world.

Here’s an excerpt from my three books on Growly Dogs - Essential Skills for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog

This is Chapter 5 from the first book Why is my dog so growly? It’ll get you started on the road to change.

Chapter 5: Why did it get worse, when I’m trying my best?

It will get worse - unless dealt with

There are some things that dogs do that will go away on their own. Some puppy behaviours, like chewing, submission-weeing, digging, will simply evaporate if carefully managed. But there are other things - usually the things we really don’t want! - that will build and build, getting worse and worse, until we decide to act.

When we do something for the first time, a neural pathway in the brain is built. To begin with this pathway is fairly narrow and hard to find. Think, learning to drive a car - it’s all foreign to us and hard to remember the sequences. But the more we repeat that thing, the wider and brighter the neural pathway becomes until we can just slide down it without a thought. It becomes our go-to response. We can drive on auto-pilot!

So every time your dog does something, he’s building those neural pathways bigger and stronger. He doesn’t have to think hard, as the learner-driver would to locate which pedal to press. It becomes his automatic, instant, response. In the case of our reactive dog: “See dog: bark!”

While this all started as a fear response, it’s now become a habit as well. So while we change the fear response, we will also be teaching new and better habits.

It works for the dog 

If there’s something that’s frightening you, your first instinct is to get away from it. If you can’t get away from it, you’ll try to get it away from you. Hence some manic responses to a wasp in the house!

When your dog puts on a song and dance routine of barking, whining, lunging, and prancing, at the sight of another dog, he’s trying to get it to go away.

And this often works! Either

• the other dog is frightened off and moves away

• the other dog’s owner thinks “this is a nasty dog” and turns away, 

  OR

• the barking dog’s owner is shamed into beating a hasty retreat

If it works, he’ll keep doing it. Because he has no other course of action to rely on. 

Fight or Flight

This well-known expression really comes into its own with the reactive dog. It’s the reason many people think their dog is “fine” off-lead, but turns into a monster on-lead. As we saw in Chapter 1, this dog is usually not as “fine” as people think. It’s only because the off-lead dog has the freedom to move away (flight) that things don’t go badly wrong.

Once your dog is tethered to you, however, he knows he can’t flee, so this leaves only fight. This can all be made worse by the fact that he’s unable to express his body language and calming signals. It’s difficult to look nonchalant and relaxed if your head is being held up in the air.

Trapped in a tunnel!

This feeling of being restrained or trapped can also be made worse by being in a “tunnel”. This is the stuff of nightmares for many people: ahead is an all-consuming fire, behind is a crush of people and cars - panic!

For your dog this tunnel could be made up of walls and hedges and parked cars, as on a street pavement, or can be a real tunnel of a narrow footpath with walls and trees either side. Even being 10 yards from a field barrier - trees, or a hedge - can prompt the fight reflex, as the flight option is limited.

And what does the owner bring to this party?

Sadly, we often make this all far, far worse.

I know we don’t want to, and we think we’re doing everything we can to stop it. But we do tend to add fuel to the fire.

If you’re like 99% of reactive dog owners, you’ll be in a continuous state of shock and apprehension when out with your dog - just waiting for something to kick off. So you wind the lead round your hand a few times, just to be sure, to be sure. You keep your dog on a tight lead, close to you - as if creeping through enemy territory and waiting for mines to start exploding any moment.

And the second you spot another dog - BANG! Off goes the first mine. You gasp and breathe in sharply, you go trembly and flustery, you tighten that lead even further, gripping it to your chest. “Oh no!” says your dog, “What’s she so afraid of? What have I got to bark at?”

Your understandable fear and anxiety over your dog is now triggering your dog’s outburst. 

A loose cannon

It may be that, up to now, you’ve really had little understanding of why your dog behaves as she does. You know all too well how she behaves! It seems to you that she is unpredictable. She’s lovely at home, so why does she put on this other persona when out?

You’ve come to distrust your friend. 

And this feeling of unease, distrust, panic, seeps into even the calmest of walks. Your dog is now on her toes! If you’re afraid, then there must be something bad out there. Your dog will work hard to locate it and try and keep it away.

How stressful a pleasant walk with your dog has become!

This is no fun for either of you, and this is what we are going to change. But wait, there’s more you need to know first.

A social pariah

Maybe you’ve found that the only way out of this nightmare is to walk your dog at 5 in the morning, or at dead of night - at The Hour of the Difficult Dog. The only people you see are other owners of difficult dogs, who will scurry away like rats in the sunlight as soon as they spot you.

You have now become a social pariah. When you first got your dog, you had happy visions of companionable walks with friends and their dogs. What has happened? Walks have now become a chore. There’s no fun here for either you or your dog.

You know that what you’ve been doing up to now is not working. So here’s a complete turnaround for you - and you’ll be quite amazed at the difference it will make!

ACTION STEP 4

As soon as you spot another dog,

1. Relax

2. Soften your hands on the lead, keeping it loose


3. Breathe out


4. Say cheerily to your dog, “Let’s go!” while you turn and head the other direction

I can hear your protests already! Just try it. We’ll address problems and fallout later.

To read more, go to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly-boxset where you’ll find all three books in ebook and paperback and a box-set of all of them at once.

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog, watch our free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

"

Permission for Dog Training

Whose permission do you have to get to train your dog? 

NOBODY’S!!

🐾 You don't have to get permission from anybody to know how to look after your dog

🐾    You don't need my permission - and you certainly don't need some other dog trainer’s permission! 

You need to rely on what you know is right, what you feel is right. It's your integrity that counts in the end.

You KNOW what is the right way to treat other people. And so you KNOW what is the right way to treat animals in your care. 

Self-styled experts

There are, sadly, many so-called “dog trainers” who will tell you to do things that go against what you know to be right. They bamboozle you into thinking they know best, that your feelings are not important.

So many times people tell me that they were shamed into doing things with their dogs that they now deeply regret. It’s easy to understand how they were duped. They looked for professional help and sadly this is what happened to them. They were made to appear foolish and weak.

But the fact that they are now writing to me to thank me for turning their lives around and showing them a better way means that they have moved on! They no longer have to feel bad about something that happened in the past.

Here’s an excerpt from a long story sent to me by a reader of my Growly Dog Books (Essential Skills for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog)

“I was told I wasn’t any good at helping my dog as I wasn’t winning respect with a firm voice (by this, our male trainer meant shouting) or not acting animated enough. I was told to condition her with punishment and when it failed, use pet corrector (spray) for reactivity, but my poor dog was just so terrified she shut down with the trainer (regrettably, and only thanks to you, I only know now that was her shutting down).

“On top of it, we were told to go out to the busiest road we can find and walk up and down it twice daily to expose her. As you can imagine, our dog got even more reactive afterwards. … I was pretty frightened of the trainer myself. He used to use us to show what not to do in front of a whole class; naturally, we were isolated in the class, with no one talking to us and poor our dog barking mad (literally!).

“My confidence level was pretty low then but I am so glad we stood by our dog until we found you. … We are forming a whole new level of bond that feels unbreakable. …

“I love the simplicity of being able to reward behaviour just because I like it. I feel so at ease and myself, not being told to shout or act crazy happy, which isn’t my natural temperament. Your books have shown me how to channel my instinctive mental states and behaviour to her in a helpful way.

“I feel guilty and ashamed to look back what I allowed both myself and our dog to go through with the other trainer. But the main thing is we are building a new relationship with her now. I am truly grateful.”  MR

I am so happy that this reader was ready to keep looking for the right help. She knew, deep down, that what was happening was WRONG. She found my books and discovered a new way of being with her dog that fitted her belief system.  

You can only act with the information available to you at the time. That’s why it’s so important to keep learning daily! To look forward with happy anticipation, not look back with regret. I spend a lot of money (many thousands of pounds annually) on increasing my knowledge and abilities, on an ongoing basis. Never stop learning!

“We are forming a whole new level of bond that feels unbreakable”

For me, this says it all. What’s it all about if you don’t enjoy the dog you got to be your companion? What’s life for if not to enjoy?

So don't go around looking for permission, or saying “I didn't know I could do that!” Find out what you need to do to make your dog happy

and just do that.

That way you can’t go wrong!

Want to make a start by getting your dog to LISTEN?

Watch our free Workshop and start the transformation that MR enjoyed!