Your dog and Christmas visitors

Christmas is coming!

And your house will be filled with fun and laughter …

You’re expecting friends, family, children, grandchildren, which is all delightful and lovely - but your dog has never really met any children. And he’s alarmed by strange men in the house.

Christmas is a time of upheaval for dogs.

• Upheaval = stress

• Stress for your dog = stress for you, and for your guests!

So what can you do to minimise the stress? 

Preparation is key!

It’s getting a bit late for a major counterconditioning program, but there are things that can help the holiday season run smoothly.

If a baby will be on the guest list, get a blanket the baby has been sleeping in (and doing everything else in!) and leave it lying around for your dog to sniff for a while before the arrival. She'll gradually get used to the strange baby smells and it won’t be such a shock when the real thing (attached to a protective mother) arrives.

You can also use audio of babies crying on Youtube, gradually raising the sound level as your dog grows accustomed to it. Baby programmes on tv will also be helpful to watch with your dog and a stash of tasty treats. See this post about animals on tv, to guide you.

The most important thing is always to have a bolthole so your dog can choose to escape. If she can’t cope with the noise and hubbub, get her out of the way where she can continue her usual routine of sleeping for most of the day.

If you haven’t already got a cosy nest, make one now, and start using it STRAIGHT AWAY! Consider soft lighting, half-covering the crate, soft music (classical, like Mozart, is best - but you can also find stuff on Youtube). The music will not only soothe and calm your dog, but also muffle some of the sounds of the household.

If children are visiting, ensure the dog room is locked and you have the key! It only takes a moment for a curious, over-excited child to open the door, and there could be bad and sad consequences . . .

But here’s the best trick of all

Have ONE person responsible for the dog at all times, and when you need to, pass the con to someone specific for a specific length of time. And know when they’re going to hand responsibility back to you. You never want to hear “But I thought YOU were looking after the dog . . .”

If your dog is really uncomfortable with strangers, he doesn’t have to meet them at all. No, really - he doesn’t!

Though an on-lead - and muzzled if necessary - drive-through of the living room when the party has died down a bit, may help.

Meeting outside can be a very effective strategy - on a walk up and down the road outside your house. You can be close enough to chat to your guest without being so near that your dog gets agitated and barky.

Do NOT ask others to feed him. This is very conflicting.

If he wants to greet - or even look at - a visitor, you feed him.

Get in a stash of hooves, pigs’ ears, marrowbones, kongs, liver pate, peanut butter (xylitol-free), squeezy cheese - whatever your dog enjoys (not rawhide chews, which can be dangerous). Have them on hand so he can chew himself to sleep in his cosy den.

And please - NO cutesy photos of dogs and children. In most of the photos we see on the internet, the dog is actually very worried and the child is within an ace of being bitten or snapped at. See this image here, of a very alarmed dog who is trapped between child and chair. His mouth is already parting in a grumble. The adult nearby seems unaware . . .

It doesn’t have to be like this! This is what Sue had to say, after completing a Puppy Course with me:

The grandchildren can now come in and wander around and even eat a biscuit on the sofa and Jasper doesn’t bother them. He acts calmly around them now and has even stopped barking and growling at children we see when we are out and about! Massive improvements all round. Life is just wonderful! My dream dog!

Got a jumpy puppy?

It won’t do your puppy any good to get so excited he can’t control himself - or his bladder! This is another good candidate for meeting guests outside, so leaks won’t matter.

As to jumping up, if your pup is small enough you can carry him, if not, have him on lead so you can manage the greeting carefully. Encourage children to get down to puppy level to interact briefly (no rolling about on the floor please!) so the pup has no need to jump up.

But you really do need to practice this when people aren’t as high as kites, or “tired and emotional”!

Your puppy already needs 17 hours of sleep a day. Deprive him of any of that, and he can get overwrought and nippy. It can all end in tears! You must always have an adult actively supervising when the puppy is with the children.

So make sure you keep to his usual timetable of meals and sleeps, and use that hidden-away cosy den so he can really switch off.

Protect your dog from over-excited children and drunken guests!

He only has you to look out for him.

Be sure to honour his trust.

WANT THIS KIND OF SUCCESS FOR YOURSELF?

Watch our free Workshop right now and start on your lessons straight away!

Do you need information for your dog - or guidance?

You’ve got the new puppy - or your new rescue dog. You’ve got the bed, the crate, the foodbowl and some grub. You’ve booked a vet appointment, you’ve worked out responsibilities in the family, you’ve got the collar and lead.

Now what?

If you look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs - written for humans, but just as applicable to dogs - you’ll see that that’s the Physiological and Safety needs covered.

Next step up on the pyramid is Love and Belonging. This should happen naturally as you care for your new pet, always ensuring that he is happy with the arrangements, and feels secure and wanted.

And that’s where a lot of people stop. The dog is fed and minded, he gets walks and a cuddle from time to time, and that’s it.

Dog or Puppy problems? Get your free 8-lesson email course and solve them all painlessly!

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But what about the next two levels?

The Needs I’m particularly interested in are

• Esteem - including respect, self-esteem, and freedom - and

• Self-actualisation - becoming the best one can be

What? This is a DOG!

Well, like everyone else in your family, your dog will feel much better, more loved, more valued, if you allow him to become the best he can be.

And this means training.

Not “training” in the traditional sense of “Do this, do that, do what I say,” but education in the original sense of drawing out the subject’s mind, knowledge, ability.

This is where Choice Training comes in!

Brilliant Family Dog’s Choice Training is the quickest way to build a rewarding relationship with a dog who can make good decisions!

And this is also where you could probably do with a bit of help.

Is your dog stupid?

Many of us are brought up to believe that a dog is pretty stupid. That you have to SHOUT at her to get her to understand. That she is a robot who has to be programmed with COMMANDS then give instant compliance or reap the consequences. (How many of you expect instant compliance from your family when you make a request?!)

When you turn things round and ask your dog to comply, instead of telling her, magic begins to happen. See what this Brilliant Family Dog student said: 

I like choice training as it makes me think of my dog as a friend rather than as something to be ordered about all the time.

But this can be hard to get your head round without a bit of help. We are so programmed to expect the old-school way of dog training, that we may be tempted to go to classes which treat the dog as a chattel, and accept instructions to treat our dog in a way we would not dream of treating our fellow humans.

(I’m not blaming you if this is what’s happened. You wanted the best for your dog, so you went to someone who claimed to be an expert. How were you to know?)

But just imagine it’s your 2-year-old child on the end of that lead in class: do you think you’d behave differently?  

You need a guide you can trust -

✅ Someone who understands your needs as well as your dog’s needs.

✅ Someone who knows that this will all go so much better if we view our relationship with our dog as a partnership, rather than master-slave.

✅ Someone who can show you how to teach your dog to get the companion you want without going against any of your deeply-held values about how to treat others who share this planet with us.  

Now . . . who could that be? 😀

You can end the frustration!

At Brilliant Family Dog, I help frustrated dog-owners transform the whole dog+owner experience from challenge and conflict to harmony and friendship.

Unlike many trainers who work with force, intimidation, and coercion to get temporary results, Brilliant Family Dog can give you permanent change and a bright new future with your much-loved dog without you ever saying “Nooo”!

Really! You never, ever, have to say “NO” to your little puppy, or your new dog, who begins by feeling disoriented and lost in his new home. Think how much stress slips away when you remove that word from your interactions.

My approach is really very different from the traditional one, of dogs being marched endlessly round a hall with their lead being yanked. And I take you step-by-step through the foundations to ensure you get the results you work for.

When I asked my students what their biggest takeaway was, this is one of the answers I got! 

Should have gone to Beverley sooner

 To change your dog you need to change yourself first!

Watch our free Workshop and find out how to transform your “deaf dog” into a LISTENING DOG!

I love my dog AND I love my sleep!

One of the most common cries for help that arrives in my inbox at Brilliant Family Dog, is how to get a new puppy to sleep.

People tend to expect some sleepless nights when they have a new baby. But for some odd reason, many folk think that they’ll bring home a new puppy, play with him in the daytime, then plonk him in his basket and expect him to switch off for eight hours straight.

They get a rude awakening! Or rather, as they never get to sleep in the first place, a rude stay-awakening.

Your new puppy has been “snatched” from his comfy home, full of other playmates who doubled up as hot water bottles. He was undoubtedly confined to a small area by the breeder - no midnight ramblings! But once he arrives in his new home, he’s over-stimulated and exhausted all day, then parked in a strange large room - possibly providing him with furniture to chew and carpet and electric cables to pee on - with no company, no warm breathing fluffies, no heartbeats.

He’s cold. He’s lonely. He’s afraid.

(Yes, I know you don’t mean him any harm - on the contrary, you want to love him - and I’m sure your house is pleasantly warm. But he has no company, no-one to snuggle up with. He feels lost.)

So what does he do?

He SCREAMS! 🙀 😱 💥

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How to by-pass the screaming

And it’s after a few nights of full-blooded screaming, which is rewarded by pyjama-clad owners continually going downstairs to fuss over him - sometimes even bringing their duvet and sleeping on the couch! - that I get the desperate emails.

So how about sorting this problem on Day 1?

How about planning things so that the screaming never happens?

We all know that habits can build fast, and if your puppy is spending half his night screaming and getting attention, this can fast become what he expects!

My recipe for peaceful nights from the very start, is this:

1. Use a crate, half-cover it, and

2. Shut the door.

3. Sleep the puppy in the crate in your darkened room, preferably right by your bed so you can sleepily dangle a hand down for him to sniff or lick.

4. If he seems very agitated at some stage, carry him outside, put on his lead and give him a chance to relieve himself. Then back to his crate - all virtually silent. No play, no chitchat, no food, no water.

As people unaccountably seem to find this difficult and want to add in all sorts of variations, I’ll give you some “don’ts” too:

1. Don’t leave food or water in the crate.

2. Ignore any stirrings for as long as possible.

3. Never wake him up!

4. Stop worrying about it.

My puppies - of various sizes - are all clean and dry by night by 10 weeks at the very, very latest. Some are clean and dry and sleep all night from their first night, at 8 weeks.

Mealtimes

Take a look at the timings of your puppy’s meals. At 8 weeks he should be on four a day. It takes a certain length of time for the food to transit the gut and emerge the other end.

So if your pup needs to poo in the night (assuming the poo is firm and doesn’t indicate a dietary or medical problem) you’ll need to adjust the mealtimes LATER. If he’s getting his last meal at 6 pm, for example, and it takes 10 hours to pass through him, then you have just set your alarm for 4 am!

How to know how long it takes to work its way through?

Great trick here: give him a carrot to chew and note the time. Dogs can’t digest carrot, so when you see orange chunks in his poo, note that time too. This will give you a pretty good idea of how to time his meals.

It’s a big responsibility having a new little person to look after. And when there is so much nonsensical advice and old wives’ tales thrown at you as well, it can be a worrying time.

But if you plan ahead and know that you’re doing the right thing, it all becomes so much easier!  

✅ You have needs.

✅ Your puppy has needs.

✅ Balance the two and you’ll both be zizzing all night within a day or two. 

But my dog’s not a little puppy!

Incidentally - the exact same applies if you’re rehoming an adult dog. She may never have been housetrained. Or she had to live outside. Or she had a totally different lifestyle from what you’re giving her. It can take at least two months for a new adult dog to settle into her new home. Meanwhile she doesn’t know which way is up!

She’s lost, disorientated … and she needs almost as much sleep as a new puppy does.

So follow the SAME RECIPE!

Ensure your new adult dog gets the same amount of downtime, and the same cosy den, as I’m suggesting for a new puppy. Dogs are keen to fit in - if they only knew what was wanted. So do just the same and enjoy your sleep.

Let me know how you get on!

Check other post that might help your brilliant dogs:

I have a new puppy: will I ever get any sleep again?

How much time does your dog spend sleeping?

How much does your dog sleep?

Errorless Housetraining and Crate Training

Puppy Crate training demystified

Have your puppy sleep ALL NIGHT from the first night! Get this free guide to show you how

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Procrastination is the thief of your dog’s time

“Procrastination is the thief of time”

One of my mother’s favourite sayings! Whenever we wanted to put off doing anything at all - from carrying our plate back to the sink to hanging up our coats or finishing our homework - that steady calm voice would tell us we were wasting our precious time, that it was lost and gone for ever.

Of course at that age we had no idea of how fast time whizzes by.

But now we’re all grown up and we know! All too well!

And it’s not only our time that we’re losing, but our lovely dog’s time.

Our dogs haven’t got as long as we have. They haven’t got time to lose. They’re here and time-consuming (as a puppy), they’re still here and much loved and adored (as an older dog).

But how much of their time do we waste by NOT working with them? 

.. by NOT teaching them what we’d like?

.. by NOT finding the time to do the training we’ve spent ages trawling through the internet to find?

If we’re always being too busy to utilise the knowledge we’ve found, then that knowledge is useless - and acquiring it was a perfect waste of time! 

NOW NOW NOW!

We all want rapid results - of course we do. I don’t know about you, but I get a lot of tech challenges in my line of business. I know how to do things . . . but what do I do when it all goes wrong? 😱

Over time I’ve cracked most of the daily tech problems I get. But if my business didn’t rely on solving those problems, I’d probably . . . procrastinate!

It’s much easier not to confront problems, rather let them drift in the forlorn hope that they’ll just disappear. But as we know, in truth, they bubble along below the surface till one day they jump up to bite us!

And then, don’t you just wish you’d dealt with the problem head on, at the time it first emerged? Because now you have loads of issues to unravel - just to get back to where you started!

So to forestall tech problems, I’m careful only to use software which has a solid reputation for speedy support and backup. 

Don’t you need just that with your dog?

You can find anything you want on the internet and in books. You can filter your results carefully for methods which accord with your own values - to make sure you only use force-free training.

You can even allocate the time and get started working with your dog!

So . . . it says: 

Step 1: Do this

Step 2: Dog will do that

Step 3: You’ve got it!

But hang on! What happens when Step 2 falls asunder?

What happens when you “do this” (or you think you’re “doing this” - maybe you’re actually doing something wrong or different? How can you know?) and then your dog does NOT “do that”?

Now what?

You’re stuck. Stuck fast. Can’t move forward. No idea what the problem is. Is the dog dumb? Are you dumb? You’re doing your best and it’s just not working.

This is where you need that speedy support and backup. There is absolutely no reason why you should be able to make this work straight away. You’re not an expert, which is why you’ve looked for help in the first place!  

So what can you do?

Just like me choosing softwares which have a solid reputation for speedy support and backup, you need to choose dog training with a solid reputation for speedy support and backup!

I’m not a tech expert, and I can’t manage those techy problems without guidance and help. And if you’re not a professional dog trainer,  you need that same guidance and help for your dog training.

Every time you meet a problem you can’t solve, you’re likely to put off dealing with it.

• Ok, so the dog jumps up on visitors - I can’t fix it so they’ll have to put up with it.

• The dog barks at other dogs - been trying to change this on my own for years without success.

• My dog is so embarrassing I can’t walk him by daylight … I’ve tried everything . . .

You need HELP!

You need someone who you can trust not only to give you the methods and techniques, but to help you build a plan to teach them to your particular dog - in your own individual circumstances - and then be there for you to be accountable to, so that you get it done!

Someone who will hold your hand, help you modify your plan where necessary, see what may be going wrong, and give you a High Five when you’ve achieved your goal.

Someone you can be honest with, unburden yourself to, who you know will understand what you’re struggling with with your dog.

You’re in luck!

You can sign up here for our free e-course below to get you started in the direction you want to go - and find out all about our programs to keep your nose to the grindstone, getting the results you want!

Want to change life with your Growly Dog without force or intimidation? Get our free e-course here and get started!

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Brilliant Family Dog - leading the way for reactive dogs

You’re here because you’re looking for answers for your reactive, anxious, aggressive, hyper - Growly! - dog, am I right?

✅ You are in absolutely THE RIGHT PLACE for authentic help. For force-free help. For help in making lasting change.

❌ You’re in THE WRONG PLACE if you’re looking for a quick fix, if you think that your dog is to blame, if you think a gadget or medical intervention will solve everything, without you having to bother.

I need this in a hurry!

These days we are all in a hurry all the time! We want everything now, or better yet - yesterday. And we don’t want to have to work for it! “Just drop it in my lap, please,” we are taught to expect.

It comes as a genuine shock to some folk that their life will not change by “fixing what’s wrong with the dog”.

That’s why it’s no use handing your problem dog over to a trainer to do the work for you! It’s what’s happening in your home, between you and your dog, that needs fixing. It’s not the dog - it’s both of you!

Want to get the support and learning you need? Get our free e-course here and get started!

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People are forever asking me,  

• “How do I stop my dog doing xyz?”

• “How can I control my dog?”

• “What’s the quickest way to get my dog to …. ?”

• And the perplexing “Why doesn’t my dog know …. ?”

“Errr, because you haven’t taught him?” would be the quick answer to that last one!

But this all presupposes that there’s some recipe to follow, which the questioner just hasn’t found yet.

People come to my Workshops expecting to be told, “Do this, then do that, and your dog will comply.” But they find that I don’t do that!

Instead they are asked searching questions about their relationship with their dog, and discover that changing their life with their dog requires them to change what they’re doing with their dog, AND who they’re being with their dog.

Of course, some say, “Where are the instructions? How can I fix my dog-problems if you don’t give me the answers?” And they leave, looking for someone else to do the work for them.

Those who stay, who tussle with those difficult questions, are the ones who actually transform their lives with their once-difficult dog. Now, I’m not saying their dog is now perfect! Any more than my dogs are perfect, or I’m perfect!

What I’m saying is that these enlightened owners come to a higher level of understanding which means they can enjoy a new life with their dog whether or not their dog changes. (But they usually do change, dramatically.)

Change will come - but in its own time

Elle told me - in fact she told everyone in our private supportive Community of Growlies - that she had reached a whole new level of understanding with her dog.

I never dreamed that we would have been able to come as far as we have. I am thrilled.  

Bella still has some issues, but the difference is that I understand her issues, and I know what to do to help her and to make things manageable.

Elle had the all-too-common experience of trying various trainers, some of whom made the dog worse, and some who had no clue what to do so they just said “Your dog is untrainable. She’ll never change.”

Perhaps this is what’s happened for you?

So along with many others - maybe you - she was “desperate” when she found me.

Now Elle didn’t just ask for a recipe, and POOF! dog transformed. (Oh that it were so easy!)

No.

She read what I wrote, and she listened to what I said. She acted on it. When things didn’t immediately improve, she persisted. She took her dog’s reactions as information rather than evidence of failure. She worked with that information, and … gradually, very gradually … she reached the stage of calm and acceptance that removes friction and enhances - LOVE.

And it’s not only Elle who has enjoyed this transformation! I am thrilled to get emails every single day from people who have quietly followed what I’ve suggested to them and found it works!

Alexia told us,

I never thought it would be possible - but after 18 months of determination - it's paying off. I'm so glad I didn't give up - although several times have felt like it. The learning and structure of the course and this Community has reassured me I'm doing the right thing and kept going - thank you everyone :) particularly Beverley Courtney.

Emma started a huge thread of praise and thanks in our amazing Community with this thought of hers:

I thought how kind it was that people give so much of their time to this group to help people. So I wanted to thank Beverley for starting this Community and for being so responsive to our questions and concerns. And thank you for the effort that goes into it.

Dawn said “I agree!” She told us she’s so happy there’s a place where she can go to talk with other people who know exactly what it's like living with a growly dog. Then Judy added,

Yes me too. I can't thank Beverley Courtney and this group enough. Your support is priceless x

Support is critically important!

So you can see from this that having a safe place where you can talk about your dog problems (and where it affects this relationship, your own problems too) is SO important in getting the change you desire with your dog!

It’s not about finding methods, techniques, tricks, games . . . (though those will be given to you and are useful). It’s about finding out how to change the way you look at things so you can make the change you so fervently desire!

And yes - it takes work.

More importantly, it takes commitment. Flipping all over the internet in the hope of finding the one last game or pill that will transform your dog for ever . . . is futile! It’s destined for failure.

It really is about understanding just what’s going on, and getting the support you need to change it!

Want to know what you can do?

Head over to this page and add yourself to our waiting list. There’s something brewing that anyone with a reactive dog will NOT want to miss! And Waitlist peeps will get first dibs . . .

Go and put your name down right away and drum your fingers for a week or so till all is revealed. [If your dog likes it, drum your fingers up and down his back when he’s relaxing with you - lots of nice squirming from your dog, and laughter from you!]

Want to get the support and learning you need? Get our free e-course here and get started!

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5 Reasons You Should Never Tie Your Dog Outside a Shop

This article was first published on 4knines.com and is reprinted here with permission

Question for you: Would you leave your toddler tied up outside a shop?

Universal answer: “No!”

We’ve read the papers, we’ve heard the news: horrific stories of child abduction and murder. Most parents won’t take their eyes off their children, and with good reason.

Why is your dog different? Do you not care what may befall him?

Start the change with your puppy or dog with our free Workshop packed with ideas and strategies -

all force-free!

There are five big reasons why you should never leave your dog tied up

1. He Can Be Stolen

Sadly, this happens all too often. Dogs can be snaffled from gardens. How much easier to take one who already has a handy lead on? The cuter and more expensive-looking the dog, the more likely this is to happen, though any old pet dog can be taken to be used as bait in dogfights. This doesn’t bear thinking about. This reason alone is enough to make most people reconsider the idea. People say to me, “But I’m only in the shop – I’ll keep an eye on him.” Ok. In that case leave your purse out there on the pavement and keep an eye on it. Uncomfortable about that? Or you may think as you live in a peaceful rural community it’s safe. Guess what? People have cars. Ne’er-do-wells can travel great distances very quickly. In. Out. Dog gone.  

2. Never Tie a Puppy Anywhere

Puppies are accidents waiting to happen. Tie them up on a lead, whether short or long, and you may expect twisted or even broken limbs. Or a throttled puppy. Once a pup gets tangled he can easily panic and get himself into all sorts of trouble. 

 3. You Can’t Defend Him From Inappropriate Approaches

If you’re not there, you can’t protect him. Kindly people may try and smother him with unwanted affection, or feed him inappropriate food. Teens showing off may taunt your defenceless dog. A small child may come and poke or prod him, or wrap themselves around him. Your super-friendly dog will be doing all sorts of things you don’t want – like jumping up on people, mugging their hands or pockets, grabbing their sleeve. Your normally-adjusted or fearful dog, however, is going to be stuck. He has no way to tell them if he doesn’t like these approaches (if they’re behaving this badly they probably know very little about dogs, and nothing about dog body language). He may curl his lip – and get told off into the bargain – he may growl, or… 

4. He May Bite

If he’s tried moving away (impossible because you tied him up), pulling a grumpy face, mumbling, growling, and none of these things has worked to make the person go away and leave him alone, he has only one way left – a snap or bite. If this should happen, you now have two major problems: 

a) Your dog has learnt that snapping or biting gets people away from him, fast. Now he can skip the growling and move to that option sooner in future.

b) The person who started all the trouble is complaining loudly, threatening to sue, threatening to have your dog put down.

And what can you say? You weren’t there. You didn’t see what happened. 

5. It Causes Anxiety

I have never seen a relaxed dog tied up outside a shop. They are always scanning and anxious. They are stuck on a cold, wet pavement, or perhaps a hot pavement with the sun beating down on them. They may be tied to the shopping trolley railing and have to put up with the clattering and banging of trolleys being taken and returned. They are often panting from stress, they are usually staring intently at the shop door, desperate to know where their person – their guardian and protector – has gone. I know enough to keep away from them and leave them in peace, but others think it would be kind to soothe them – or they just haven’t noticed the dog’s distress and think it’s there to provide a bit of doggy entertainment in their day. So the dog is subjected to uninvited greetings, which will interfere with him staring at the last place they saw their owner – piling on the stress.

Each one of these five reasons should be enough on its own to stop you ever thinking of leaving your dog tied outside a shop. If even one of them has given you pause, I hope that you’ll never be persuaded to do this.   

More commonsense tips to be found in this free 8-lesson email course to get you started with your dog

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